This rule comes up all the time in pick-up. It was observed and developed by psychologist Albert Mehrabian in 1967 and states that roughly:
- 7% of communication comes from the literal words we speak
- 38% of communication comes from tone, pitch and rhythm
- 55% of communication comes from body language
And yet… and yet… guys are still so focused on verbals. The literal “what do I say?” Then they go online and try to find something; some witty opener or clever retort. In doing so, they already lost. Not just because they try to lift lines wholesale from other people – lines which weren’t made by them and therefore aren’t congruent with them – and introduce heaps of inauthenticity into their offering but also because they concentrate their attention on something which doesn’t matter much.
Something all men need to understand is that words are plausible deniability. Words are what we use to pass the time while we confirm what our bodies already did the moment we met. Rather than focusing on what to say we need to be focusing on keeping solid body language and speaking with a calm, confident and masculine tone. Yes, you do need to be able to carry a conversation, but remember that half of that conversation comes from her. If you make the right impression with your tone and body language then she will add energy into the conversation herself. Carrying conversations will feel magically easier.
I challenge you, this Easter weekend, to go out and do exactly that. Don’t try to use any fancy verbals. In fact, just say whatever comes into your head and don’t try to impress her with the words you say. Put all of your energy into the way you stand, your hand placement, your eye contact, your breathing and your tone. Use your mind muscle connection as you take in deep breaths. Feel the pavement under your feet. Relax your body. Enjoy the moment. Be in your body, not your head.
If you want to learn how to do that, follow the links below.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
> Buy the best of Thomas Crown, Volume One
> Buy the best of Thomas Crown, Volume Two
> Buy my beginner’s guide to Daygame
Thomas Crown PUA 