“So, how old do you think I am?”.
She touched a finger to her full lips and gave me a once over. “Hmmm, I think around 32.”
Those words were spoken to me on a recent i-date. She was 24, from Moldova, and told me that she prefers men who are around that age. Clearly she liked me for me, as she didn’t know that I was 25, but I had to let her down gently when it came to telling her my real age. In the end, I bounced her to a pub, kissed her there, and then to another one, where we made out. I tried to bounce her back to mine but she wouldn’t come. She responded to my ping the next day but the messaging was shaky even to begin with, and she quickly fell off the hook. Whether she really did baulk at fucking someone only one year older than her, or that she had her fill of adventure and decided to back off, I will never know, but it did provide the inspiration for this post.
I started to think a lot about age, probably too much. For people pressing their nose up against the window of Game, they must be in awe that a guy who is 35 can regularly bang 20 year olds. He’s very surprised when he hears it said that “male SMV peaks between 30 and 35”. Then if that man enters the world of PUA he realises that that kind of age gap is par for the course. Girls are attracted to men that age just like we’re attracted to girls aged between 18-21 the most. It actually turns out that when the 32 year old fucks a 20 year old girl, that’s the kind of girl he “should be fucking”.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I’m the only Daygamer in the LDM style regularly blogging his experiences at my age. There isn’t much stuff out there to guide the way for people such as I. And I don’t mean this to come across as a woe is me post, because I know all the good stuff is to come. Plus, girls clearly see me as being more mature and older than I really am, so I benefit massively from that anyway. It’s that there are a bunch of expectations for guys my age which I think are incorrect: blue pill guys expect you to be slaying it but they don’t understand male SMV; older guys into PUA, who will be chasing girls >10 years younger than them, say that us, the mid-twenties guys “should be fucking those girls anyway”.
I wanted to write this post because I’m suspicious that there is a quality ceiling of which age plays a role. I feel that I can get the Skandi, Mediterranean, and Anglosphere sevens without a problem, but there needs to be a decent age gap for me to get the eights. I can’t get the same dominance over a 23 year old girl from the FSU as I would over a 19 year old; but of course, eights are very rare so I can’t simply just look for the 19 year olds specifically. There’s probably an element of “grass is greener” here too, but when I watch my older wings approach I think to myself that they get better reactions. And probably because I don’t hear the whole story, but when I hear about lays from them it sounds a lot simpler.
“Yeh we met, I took her for a couple of drinks then invited her around for a film. She said yes, then we had sex as soon as we got in.”
That’s a contrived example, but for that to happen to me she would have to be a Yes girl who complied from the very beginning.
Now let’s look at another real life example. This weekend, Lina, the Lithuanian girl from the beginning of this year, flew over to London to spend the weekend with me. In amongst the conversation, she bemoaned the fact that most men can’t “handle” her (read dominate), that she wasn’t “girlfriend material”, and that she felt that she would never find a boyfriend. She’s 25, like me, so it makes sense that her body agenda is pushing towards something stable. Over a drink, I asked her:
“What’s the oldest gap you’d take?”
“In a partner?”
Now, this isn’t news to us as Daygamers; we know that girls from eastern Europe like older men and don’t believe in “age appropriate dating”. But nonetheless, she was heavily hinting that she wanted me to be her boyfriend. At any point I could have jumped in and asked her to be my girlfriend and she would have said “yes” instantaneously. Case in point, she told me that I was the third man she’d ever met who she felt that she could be a woman around.
I continued the conversation:
“That sounds like the answer then. You should look for an older man. I know that in Lithuania it’s normal, but here in London, a 45 year old guy would be over the moon to have a 25 year old girlfriend.”
“It’s not really that,” she replied, “it’s more about experience, and maturity.”
And fair enough to her, as apparently I come across as being 32! I think most of that comes from calmness. Girls expect guys in their mid-twenties to be fuckboys with little between the ears, and even less composure. Whenever I ask a girl what they expect from guys my age, they can never put their finger on it, but they commonly wave their arms around in the air to indicate a level of buffoonery.
Lina’s words confirmed what Mr White told me a couple of evenings previous. We had run into each other on Oxford Street and I related the story of the Moldovan to him.
“That’s pretty rare mate. To be honest, if she knows that you’re mature then she’ll appreciate it.”
It wasn’t many words, but given his zen-like delivery it took a while to come out. Nonetheless it sunk in. I appreciated that he said it and it soothed some of the issues I’d been mulling over. I respected the fact that he was into Game at the same age I am now.
6 thoughts on “Age”
I’m getting towards this conclusion now, talking about the age during the date is definitely not good, only based on my personal experience and reading blogs…
I agree. Leave it a mystery for as long as possible, because until then she’ll consider you as the perfect age for whatever you have planned.
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I got started in my early 20s and I’d love to go back with the experience I have now. I think it’s not so much the age as how you dress and carry yourself. Depending on what kind of women you are into, never be afraid of coming across too mature. I had a period in my mid 20s where I dressed a bit more mature than I normally did and I found the same if not better reactions from women in the range 18 – 25.
That’s part of what I was trying to say. It’s best to dress and behave older (for guys under the optimum); believe me, I’ve got no issue with girls thinking I’m at or around that optimum age. But I think that there is a violation of expectation, though, if she gets the true answer, as it generates a bad feeling.
Krauser (and others) have suggested that the mid-thirties-SMV-apex theory, popularised by the famous Rational Male graph, is not applicable to daygame where the aim is r-selected fast pulls; with money and status taking a back seat. I don’t think girls rule you out for being ‘too young’ per se, it’s more about the gravitas that comes with age. Having said that, i’m 32 and I do think the feeling of being ‘attractive to women’ has increased year on year.
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You’re wise beyond your years my friend. As you know I’m 31 and when I look back at myself daygaming at 25, I was basically still a child. Imagine where you’ll be in your thirties.