My vibe goes up and down like a cheap whore. When it’s not turning tricks for fun and humping up a storm of scratch for daddy, it’s lying around, smoking gangster, and whining on its period. Sometimes, you’ve just got to stuff that cat full of tissue and get back on the street.
Lately I’ve been thinking about vibe dependent opening. I’m assuming that you, the reader, imagine that I float above the clouds in pure bliss, before swooping down to open SDL after SDL. Alas, this is not the case, and sometimes, I feel less than my jubilant self.
I tend to use three different openers.
The first is for when I’m at my lowest. That’s when I know I need to convey my attraction as quickly as possible so that the girl doesn’t walk off thinking what just happened? This is the time when my actions and my vibe don’t line up well. I’m tired, or grumpy, or emotionally stretched, or any combination thereof, and I don’t believe that me on my own gets my message across.
I feel like an imposter. There is an idea of a cad; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real player: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and a girl can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping hers and maybe she can even sense our lifestyles are probably compatible… I simply am not there.
When that’s the case, I outsource my intent to a strong complement:
“Excuse me… I just want to say… you look *very* nice. What I noticed was…”
Notice how I get straight to the point and stress the word “very”. As with any opener, I’ll be giving laser eyes at this point and it feels like a moment of importance, for you and her. I really want her to know that I am attracted to her. Success from these types of opens are Yes girls and may even fuck you based purely on your confidence to approach and state your interest.
The second opener comes from my regular state. I feel healthy, vibrant, energetic, and confident. I’m able to throw a compliment in there just to keep up appearances and ensure her I’m not trying to sell something. I know that my approach provides most of the intent required.
That opener would go along the lines of:
“Excuse me… I just saw you walking along… And I thought to myself, you looked quite nice… *but* that’s not what drew my attention… it’s your…”
Notice here how it’s a lot more drawn out. My vibe is better so I can capture her attention for longer; dangling the carrot in front of her and almost giving it to her before stringing it out once again. It immediately sets you apart not just from the drunken louts hurling “oi love show us ya tits!” at her but also the fairweather Daygamers.
Whereas before I stressed the word “very” now I stress the word “but” (hehehe butt), which is what strings the opener out more. I’m playfully tooling her while giving her a specific reason why I chose her out of all the other girls, beyond her physical attractiveness. If I’m feeling extra playful I might even throw some classic “beauty is common” in there before giving her my observation.
The last opener would be when I’m feeling my best. It never occurs from set one and would be born off the back of some positive feedback after opening with the second version:
“Excuse me… ah dah dah dah dah… right, well, I saw you and noticed this…”
This time the opener itself is pretty much just “stopping noises”. I’ll also be invading the air around her face with my hands and I especially like to put both my hands in front and point upwards as if I’m about to deliver a self-congratulatory lecture. I’m commanding her attention with the vibe of “I’m going to tell you exactly what I think”. It’s the most playful of the three, and doesn’t need a complement because the approach itself is all the pull I need.
Compared to state one, I’m conveying my identity as a player, and so the very act of talking to her gives her all the information she needs. That’s a pull, and so I follow up with a tease, and maybe then another little pull (“and I think that’s quite nice”).
Why not just use the first opener all the time then? That’s a valid question, because you could just use the great vibe to widen your ping range and suck up a load of Yes girls.
The thing is, I don’t just want to suck up a load of Yes girls. It’s not like I’d say “no” to them, but I also want to increase my skill and rely on myself rather than outsource my intent. That contributes to the identity change required which makes the down days less down.
Why not just use the third opener then? Again, a valid point, because it would force me to learn to succeed using the most covert, secret society method.
Well, the reason for that is very simple: constantly failing sucks. It sucks hairy ass.
You have to build on past successes and by opening girls with mixed signals (which are a side effect of a poor vibe), you compound failure. You start to think that what you’re doing is weird and all you want to do is get to your last set so that you can go home.
It’s like leaning into your edge. If you’re scared of approaching really tall girls, or Muslim looking girls, or fast moving girls, whatever, you don’t just go out and get smashed by them ten times a day on Saturday and Sunday. You promise yourself you’ll do one a session, and then two, and then three, and then you’re comfortable with doing it indefinitely.
At the moment, I’m using all three within one session. I might do the first two opens with the first version, and then use the second one for the rest unless I hit a vein of vibe or momentary inspiration which lets me slip into the third version.
That’s not to say that I’m always Daygaming and feeling down to start with. Daygame is certainly an uplifting experience, whether you leave with some great numbers or one flaky one, but I don’t force myself into sessions when I don’t want to do them. My description of the first state might accurately be described as “meh”, and I’m not at the point yet where I can only go out when I’m feeling “yey!”.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
Thomas Crown PUA 