A while ago I tweeted the below and RMC – a cool guy that I previously met in Kyiv and with whom I recorded a podcast – recommended turning it into a post. Today I’ll talk about what I think a girl’s Instagram profile says about her and link it into status versus experience driven girls* and r/K-selection. I’ll come back with another post in a couple of weeks to describe how to spot and calibrate to these types of girls on the street.
*This is one of the pre-approach filters you can put a girl through which Krauser gives in Daygame Infinite.
It’s amazing what you can tell from a girl’s Instagram profile. I know I’m judging a girl based on her “book cover” – some people will say that’s just what she wants people to see and not who she truly is – but I view this as her shop window to the world. I really do believe that a girl’s Instagram profile is a true reflection of who she is, what she wants and who she wants to attract.
In my opinion, the key to assessing a girl’s Instagram is to ask yourself “what does her profile say about her?”, “what does she believe to be her greatest asset?” and “what kind of guy do you think would do well with her?” and to do it without judgement and investment.
Status Versus Experience Driven Girls and r/K Matrix
In summary:
- Status driven: externally referenced i.e. she sees her value as stemming from her association with other things/people which are themselves considered high status
- Experience driven: internally referenced i.e. she sees her value as stemming from herself: her experiences and who she is
- r-selected: “coolness” motivated i.e. she sees value as stemming from intangible assets
- K-selected: resources motivated i.e. she sees value as stemming from tangible assets
Below are caricatures of each profile in the status/experience,r/K matrix but I want to stress how most girls will be a mixture of status and experience driven and show a mixture of r and K behaviour. A status driven girl still sees herself as having internally derived value and an r-selected girl would still like to be provided for, for example; but it’s just not their priorities. Also, a girl can move from one group to another over time (the most common being from more r to more K selected and more experience to more status driven as she gets older). What I encourage you to try and do is a back of the envelope calculation of each profile and ask yourself whether a girl is a status or experience driven girl and whether she’s more r or more K selected.
Quick note: please don’t take me the wrong way here with any of these caricatures: I’m not saying them disparagingly even though they may/will come off cynically. These hypothetical women might be lovely people and have great personalities. It’s just that she – like every woman – has her agenda and will work relentlessly and remorselessly to achieve it.
I’ve included images which I took from Google to illustrate each type but those are not exhaustive examples; I’m just trying to flesh out what I’m saying in the text.
K-selected, status driven (resources motivated, externally referenced)
If she mainly posts pictures of herself in places like Monaco, Dubai and Singapore, then she’s most likely a K-selected, status driven girl who wants a man who will give her access to that lifestyle. Some pictures will be sexualised and in poses which draw attention to her body but not in an easy-sex way; moreso in a swimsuit photoshoot way which presents her as a prize animal to be bought at the local livestock market. Her profile will say: “if you give me access to this lifestyle then in return you’ll have this pretty thing to take with you to all your events and show off to your colleagues.”
K-selected, experience driven (resources motivated, internally referenced)
If she only has a few pictures on her profile and they’re mostly with friends, family, in nature or involving feminine hobbies then she’s most likely a K-selected, experience driven girl. She maybe only got Instagram because it’s almost mandatory in this day and age and she’s probably not much interested in social media. She posts there because it’s nice to get likes on her pictures but she knows deep down that the likes don’t mean anything. That kind of girl is probably more interested in the strength of interpersonal connection and quality of experience. Her profile will say: “I’ll be a good girlfriend and future wife who you can love and trust, take care of and share your resources with.”
R-selected, status driven (coolness motivated, externally referenced)
R-selected, status driven girls will have chosen an “aesthetic” (the theme that they centre their lives around as if it was an art project) for their profile and are driven by looking cool within their ecosystem of choice. For example, you might see lots of shots of her with her friends, hanging out at the coolest bar in town. Based on current trends, her fashion and make-up will be expensive but have a vintage and shabby feel to it, and she will have an air of nihilism. These girls often operate from a perspective of “we’re the cool kids, and you’re not, so go away” and so you’ll likely see pictures of them flipping off the camera or sticking a tongue out at it: they’re celebrating the exclusivity of their club and simultaneously mocking you for not having entry. If there are sexualised pictures of her then they will likely be done in an artistic or even avant garde way.
R-selected, experience driven (coolness motivated, internally referenced)
R-selected, experience driven girls focus on how what they are doing makes them a cool person. She’ll likely do lots of travelling to obscure places, doing obscure things and practising obscure hobbies. She’ll be into music and films which are not part of the mainstream. To her, being alternative – going against the mainstream – has value in and of itself. She may also have a chosen aesthetic but it will be displayed through shots of nature or the places she’s been to. The big difference between the r-selects – status and experience driven girls – is that the status driven girl thinks she’s cool because of exclusivity whereas the experience driven girl thinks she’s cool because of how it makes her interesting and different.
I want to repeat, these are ends of the spectrum and nearly every girl will have a mixture of interest in both status and experience and show a mixture of r and K behaviour. Just try to make that rough calculation and put her into one of the camps.
Another thing I want to stress: the pictures are only there to help with understanding. There are many different archetypes of girls which differ to those girls in the pictures but could fit in the same category. Here are some more examples:
- A girl with fake boobs, lips, butt and eyelashes, hair extensions and a gym body, is r-selected and status driven
- A girl who wears floral mini-dresses, acts like a hippy and likes indie music is r-selected and experience driven
- A career woman in a professional outfit is K-selected and status driven
- A plain Jane is likely to be a K-selected, experience driven girl
(I’ve focused on her clothes/fashion/style here because it’s the easiest thing to spot).
Questions You Can Ask Yourself While Looking Through Her Profile
(This list isn’t exhaustive and some of them point towards only one aspect of the matrix:)
Are the pictures only of her?
This is a common sign of a K-selected, status driven girl, she knows that her looks are her main asset and she’s putting them front and centre to give her the best shot of buying into the luxurious lifestyle she desires.
Are there lots of pictures with friends or family?
If so, what setting are they in? In a megaclub? On a yacht? Eating dinner together at home? On a trip somewhere? Skiing? Taking a hike? A graduation picture? In general, a K-selected, status driven girl will include less pictures of herself with friends and family. Pictures with family will often be thanking them for giving things to her e.g. gifts, paying tuition, for holidays, etc. Pictures with friends will likely be at an expensive restaurant or on an expensive holiday. An r-selected, status driven girl will include pictures with her friends most likely in the cool spots in town. Experience driven girls will have more pictures with friends and family in normal settings.
Where are the pictures?
Is she in a nightclub? A fancy bar or restaurant? The up and coming area of town? On the beach? A quiet cafe? Out in nature? Where her pictures are set will tell you the kind of places she likes to go and be seen. You can also see how much money a girl has access to by where she goes on holiday. If it’s to places like Monaco or Dubai then it’s nearly certain she’s being sponsored for those trips and is a K-selected, status driven girl.
How does she enjoy herself?
Is it with friends at a nightclub? What about at a pub? Is she reading a book in the park? Status driven girls like to go to exclusive locations. R-selected, experience driven girls like to go to obscure locations. K-selected, experience driven girls go to normal locations.
Is she introverted or extroverted?
This doesn’t confirm whether she’s a status or experience driven or r/K-selected girl but it’s something worth asking yourself when looking at her profile.
Hobbies?
Does she have any discernible hobbies? Are they classically feminine? Status driven girls will often show no hobbies on their profiles, but if they do they are usually high status ones like skiing. Experience driven girls will often show artistic hobbies such as drawing, painting and playing an instrument.
How many followers does she have?
Status driven girls will often have high follower count because a) they usually have better pictures, b) they play the Instagram game to get more followers, and c) they often post sexualised pictures of themselves (note that yes, even if she’s wearing a conservative bathing suit, it’s still a sexualised picture as she’s drawing attention to her body); usually they have a lot more followers than they are following. Experience driven girls may not care much about their follower count and their ratio might be even.
How many pictures does she have?
Did she post them all at once? Does her profile feel like a dating profile? Does it appear as if she’s addicted to Instagram? Status driven girls will take opportunities to promote the fact they have, or want, a high status lifestyle and so it’s easier for them to get sucked into the Instagram dopamine reward cycle. They will usually have more pictures because each high status moment is an opportunity to brag and continue to climb the status totem poll (and release more dopamine). On the other hand, experience driven girls will have less pictures.
Do her photos feel staged and what is the picture quality like?
Status driven girls will usually have staged pictures (because they need to get the most out of each high-status moment) which were the best of dozens, perhaps hundreds, taken in that moment. Experience driven girls’ pictures will have more of a candid quality to them
What does she include in her bio?
Does she mention her age? Does she talk about the countries she’s travelled to? Does she mention living between multiple major metropolises? Does she call it her “personal blog?” These are signs of a status driven girl (it’s her shop window) and she’s trying to show off. Experience driven girls will have a basic bio, if one at all, or they might have an artsy/deep one if they’re interested in that.
Does she post a lot of stories and have a lot of highlights on her profile?
Does she tag brands in them? Does she caption them in a way which tries to tempt you into responding i.e. bait? Does it appear that she’s a wannabe influencer? These are signs of a status girl: she wants to take any opportunity she can to promote a high status lifestyle.
Does she have pre-set questions in her messages?
Yes this is possible and is always a sign of a heavily status driven girl. I once got the Instagram of a girl who had her pre-set question “Hi. I want to take you to X restaurant. How is 8pm?”
Does she have two accounts?
Status girls are more likely to have one account as their kind-of-dating-profile (shop window to the world) and one for their actual friends.
Does she have IG at all?
If not then she’s almost certainly experience driven.
*****
As I said at the start, I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with a post on how to spot these girls on the street and how to calibrate them. Until then I recommend you have a look at any Instagrams you have collected recently and run them through this article. Try to make that gut call: where does she sit on the matrix? Then think about how the set, texting and any dating went with her, and then about where you yourself sit on that matrix.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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Thomas Crown PUA 
Women only have 2 modes. Alpha seed or beta need.
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