Something that I had to work out over time, is that the purpose of winged Daygame is entirely different to that of solo. When you’re out solo, you feel like a hunter, with a list of sets to tick off on your phone. Your vibe rises and falls as you overcome your AA. You’re able to push your frame more aggressively in set. Momentum feels real and and you take stronger numbers.
When you’re winging, the Daygame itself becomes a sideshow to the conversation with your wing. You walk for much longer between sets: I’ll do ten on my own in two hours like clockwork, but with a wing ten sets might be spread across four because we’re taking turns. You might also have different average set lengths, leaving one guy finished and following the other around.
There’s also the fact that you’re self-conscious over the girls you’re approaching. I know that you shouldn’t care about what other people think, but I guess I’m not fully at that level of acceptance yet. It’s not helped if you’re thinking of approaching and then your wing gives you a quizzical look and says “are you sure?”.
On top of that you’re trying to resist any (hopefully) subconscious frame battles and value tapping. Ensuring that you walk abreast and at the same pace which is comfortable for both of you. In this case the unfortunate truth is that once you’ve heard of how it’s done, you can’t help but notice it. Ignorance is bliss, after all. The solution here is not to suppress your thoughts like an old, married couple, but be open and honest when you think something is happening. Better to get it out in the open and deal with it. Let out the steam before anything goes majorly tits up.
Lastly, when you do roll into set you’re less hungry. Your AA is much reduced from the start but the companionship keeps you in a social mode, rather than a sexual one.
The purpose behind each context is different, something I didn’t realise when I started Daygame last year. I thought the purpose was always to be out there, being hungry, sniffing for sets, and you can see that as evident in the complaints I’ve listed above. Daygame success is the aim for solo, but with someone else the purpose becomes enjoying your time with them. This was, and is, quite hard for me to adapt to because I derive energy from purpose. So when my winged sessions don’t create as much success, I become irate.
To solve this partially, I like to go out solo before I meet with a wing. That way I can get my sets done and have a few numbers in the bag, allowing me to relax and enjoy it more. You’ve got stories to tell and commonly some interesting ideas will have occurred to you during your solo time. Although, having said that, perhaps it is a devious value tapping strategy in which you’re already warmed up when you meet your wing, giving you a more dominant extroverted frame. Food for thought…
Another partial solution is to cultivate a lot of energy between you and your wing and use it to draw IOIs, or encourage your wing to push you into sets you wouldn’t normally do (in shops, black girls, MILFs, etc.). Find a way to use the presence of your wing to improve your skillset.
I think that as you advance in the skillset, moving from beginner to intermediate, the winged sessions will naturally decrease in number. To begin with you’re helping each other over your AA, whether it’s on the street or just encouraging you to turn up. But once you know what you can achieve solo, the winged sessions reduce drastically. I’m currently going solo for all but one session each week, and I go out alone before winged sessions too as discussed above, although I must say, we very rarely do two sets, so I imagine that is a factor for other guys.
Perhaps the future lies in us going out for the day and then meeting up at the end to share war stories and debrief. Our friendship has changed as we have advanced in skill. You wouldn’t take your university friends back to a lecture hall to have a beer with them.
2 thoughts on “What’s the Point? (Winged vs Solo)”
Very insightful post Thomas, i’m always surprised by how your insights line up with what I experience in-field.
I was searching for another post someone did about winged daygame. I remember they mentioned “your goal is to get your wing laid” – was this you by any chance? I thought it was a nice mindset to cultivate but can’t locate the original article.
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I’ve said something similar before but probably more like your job is make sure your wings vibe is good