Death By A Thousand Sluts, Part Three Review (John Bodi)

I recently finished reading DBATS 3 by John Bodi and wanted to bring you my review and recommendation.

The first and second DBATS came out just as I was starting my pick-up journey. As I tore through the pages I felt my vibe sour. Not because they were bad books. They were great books for Daygamers. Full of funny stories (for me, not John), Inner Game lessons and flights of fancy. My vibe soured because John’s story is a tough one to read without empathising for. He was also into some dark stuff and I don’t think my frame could handle it well enough yet. However, as John’s life improved (or seemed to), and so did his Daygame results, I was left feeling hopeful. It left me wondering: “what has the Mark Corrigan of Daygame got up to since we last left off?”

Death By A Thousand Sluts, Volume Three, takes John across Asia to meet some old (embittered) friends, before travelling to Eastern Europe to wing with some familiar names such as Tom Torero, Nick Krauser and Steve Jabba, then back to good ol’ London and finally off to South America. However, as John warns at the start of the book: this book is not a “romp.” This book is not about travelling all over the world, smashing girls left, right and centre, and generally being “one of the ‘ighest ‘ooman beings on the planet.” This book is a cautionary tale.

There were three overarching themes I picked out in this book:

1. All is not what it seems: this is apparent in the behaviour of the “names” of the industry and the PUA lifestyle. Put simply, it’s not so ‘igh value as it comes across, and while there is some level of honour amongst thieves, there can also be times where there is no honour at all. Of course, the book is written from Bodi’s perspective, and so he has hammed up their mannerisms and behaviours to draw more comedy and pathos from events, but everything contains a kernel of truth.

Hence, all is not what it seems. It could be argued in both directions: 1) that these truly are high value men living their best lives, and 2), that these are a group of sharp elbowed, pussy hounds, who would step over their own mother just to get another notch… especially if their friend (viewed as competition) wasn’t getting any.

This theme can be seen in Bodi himself. He admits in the conclusion of the second volume that he played with the timing of his results, making it seem as if he was on a steady upwards trajectory. In reality, all of his results came in a short burst, before returning to shitsville. The lays that he does get throughout the book are mostly those of desperation, rather than of the shining quality beacon he thought he was heading towards. It’s a bit like a footballer having a good season with a team like Tottenham, being bought by a creaking mess like Man Utd, scoring three tap-ins (after hitting the post with an open goal) and being sold back to Tottenham, thus completing the merry-go-round of transfers between clubs who no sane person would support.

John’s not free from the curse of competition himself either. When he starts offering Inner Game coaching he seethes at the success of one of his students. Or else, he lies to his wings about the results he’s getting. While he holds a mirror up to the Daygame community, he himself is just as guilty. All is not what it seems.

This is created by the fact that we, the +1 watching public, only see exactly that: what people want us to see. Usually, that’s only the good stuff. Here, however, in Bodi’s book, we have an author who is actually motivated by presenting the dark side of the PUA lifestyle. If anything, the text might push too far in that direction for comedic effect. I fail to believe that anyone’s life can really be that shit (but of course, it can, and if you have real mental health issues then you should see a therapist ASAP) and also that someone can have such issues with their digestive system (John, please see a doctor ASAP if it’s true).

As the saying goes: “never meet your heroes.” This book allows you to do that, to an extent, and from a different perspective. I think that if we take the average of Bodi’s account with, say Torero and Krauser’s, we’d get a reasonable view on everything.

2. Issues with the PUA industry and how the world should be: there’s a lot of the word “should” in this book. Bodi looks at the world and is often disgusted by how it works and what women are really attracted to. He’s something of a values-Luddite. Take, for example, a guy who he names “Ghastly Bri” who he meets in Prague who seems to be doing really well with women. He brings the issue up with Krauser who admonishes Bri for playing the “moneh Game.” That guy was getting infinitely better results than John and generally came across as having a much better time of it all. However, he wasn’t getting girls the way he “should.” At the end of the day, and after reading the book, ask yourself, which person would you rather be?

John was working under a faulty assumption that the PUA industry had fed him. That by learning Game and dressing in a certain way he would be swimming in hot, young, K-selected pussy; rolling into town and impressing girls with his leather jacket, bulldog shirt, brogues and shininess. Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, it’s not so simple, and, in fact, he seems to do his best when he actually turns his logical brain off and simply acts off of instincts. If anything, it seems like John had it in himself the whole time. He didn’t need to have layers applied but taken away.

There’s also the myth of a man’s “SMV peak” being in his mid to late 30’s. A man’s looks deteriorates as he gets older but his status is increasing. Hopefully his Game is getting better too. The sweet spot for that is probably around 30. However, if a man doesn’t grow up with a modicum of looks then he won’t get his positive reference experiences which will allow him to develop good Game. He might get to 30 with status but average looks and poor to average Game. He then has an even steeper mountain to climb because he needs to chip away at another decade of limiting beliefs which his better looking counterparts didn’t have to, as well as sorting out his looks! Like I said, this book is a cautionary tale: Game will probably not be the “romp” you thought it might be.

Further issues with the PUA industry are highlighted in how it dehumanises the seduction process with terms like “notch,” “set” and “closed.” This brings your focus away from the fact that you’re spending time with a living, breathing human being and into something much more abstract. This seems to appeal to the average budding PUA because, let’s face it, there’s a reason why we’re all here in the first place: because we didn’t do well with girls in high school and are trying to overcorrect that. Hence, looking for a system which resembles the scientific ones we’re much more successful with. Or else, the guy did well with girls in high school and still has massive self-esteem issues and hopes that pick-up will solve them. Unfortunately, it can’t. That can only happen through coming to peace with yourself.

As John mentions many times throughout the book, Daygame isn’t therapy, and so if you have true mental health issues then go and see a therapist. I believe that Daygame can have therapeutic effects but it’s not the same as actually working through your problems if you have a deep-seated issue. Game, or Daygame specifically, can be a lot of fun, but it can easily be a lot of misery as well. Either way, don’t pursue it for “the answer to all your problems.”

Overall, DBATS 3 touches on something which I’ve been thinking about recently: that the PUA industry has hit its own postmodern inflection point. We have had enough time with it that we can start reflecting on it and critiquing it and hopefully encouraging it to reach a better, and more accurate, place. Somewhere with realistic expectations and where we can see where it can benefit us, and where it can harm us.

3. Committing to Daygame should only be done by a select few / Game is not meant for everyone: there was a sentence in the book that really stood out to me. John is watching Torero approach and he thinks to himself – apologies, I can’t find the exact quote – “he actually enjoys this.” It summed up perfectly the split of guys who try Daygame:

• 80%: people who hate Daygame and feel their stomach churning just at the thought of talking to an attractive girl in-person sober.
• 19%: people who tolerate Daygame as a means to an end.
• 1%: people who actually enjoy Daygame and would do it for its own sake.

This links into another issue with the PUA industry: it’s sold to you as something you learn, and after putting in a few months of humble grinding at the coal face, you start to see the results you expected. The thinking goes: “oh of course there’ll be blowouts and I’ll have to do a few hundred sets, maybe even 1000, but then I will get what I want.” The on-the-surface humble thinking, the promise to apply oneself and take a few bloody noses, is just a mask for “I think I deserve the absolute best.”

In reality, most guys should get in and out as soon as they can with a decent girlfriend. One who’s probably as good looking as the best looking girl they slept with in the past two years and a whole lot more pleasant to be around. However, this community attracts a greater share of gammas with sky-high expectations than the population norm, and so they can’t just get a decent girlfriend, she has to be perfect. Then there’s the fact that you can make more money selling a dream than realistic expectations and so the guru-acolyte dynamic is easily created.

John quite often returns to thoughts of his girlfriend from the second volume and wonders whether he should have stayed with her. She did seem to be quite a catch at the time. Now, I know how his story turned out in the long run so I’m not going to say he “should” have settled down with her. However, given the abject misery of John’s Daygame story, at the time, I probably would have said so. I think he carried on going because he thought should carry on going. That it was the right thing to do.

Overall, DBATS 3 is an engrossing read with lots of interesting observations and funny moments. The writing becomes a bit too purple for my liking at certain moments, but I guess that comes as a package: if he didn’t want to go into those indulgences, the book(s) would have been very different. I guess that you need to have a little bit of madness to push at the boundaries of sanity.

Do I recommend it? Absolutely, yes. There isn’t really anything like John’s books in the community. Most of the content you see and the stories you read end with a win whereas that’s only 1% of stories that actually occur in the real world. This book lets you look into the misadventures of someone who was sucked into the Daygame world, which is a rare occurrence indeed.

The last point of note is that if you buy his book then he’s more likely to write the fourth instalment, which I’d like to read too. Consider this a selfish recommendation on my part then. Here’s the link again.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown