The Daygame Journey

EVERYTHING YOU’VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT THE DAYGAME JOURNEY IS A LIE! is how I could start this post… but that would be a lie. It would also mean using a marketing gimmick which joins a growing list of pet peeves, as well as gratuitous use of capital letters, which is a low IQ tell. On the other hand, I am retired now, and so cultivating that list is congruent at the very least. What else is old age for (in Daygame years) but to sit on your porch and shake your fist at the young-uns? Oh and please forget that I’m only 32 at the time of writing this. 

This month’s post is all about The Daygame Journey, capital letters (this time) intended. I’ve been thinking about this topic recently because I feel that I can now make a fully formed opinion on the beginning, middle and end of this thing we all love doing/tolerate as a means to an end. More accurately, it’s my idea of how that journey should look for guys getting into Daygame. It’s roughly where I want and expect guys to be. It’s also, for want of better phraseology, for guys who “pass my filter for potential success.” I look for a certain kind of student and a certain kind of student tends to find me. So far, it’s served me pretty well. As an aside, out of hundreds of students, I think there have only ever been two I didn’t get on well with. All in all, if you’re reading this post and nodding your head as you do then you probably pass that filter. If not then you’re probably a moron. No. Wait. Definitely a moron.  

Here are a few disclaimers before I begin: 

• The following shouldn’t hold anyone’s progression back. This is especially applicable to those guys who get into Daygame having already had a lot of success with women. 
• You can’t hack the system by spam approaching because time is just as important a factor
• I’ve used numerical guidelines throughout this post but that doesn’t mean that by doing your 1000th Daygame set, for example, the heavens will open and you’ll be bestowed with great Daygame knowledge

Lastly, here’s something for consideration: it’s dangerous to track your progress purely by results and ratios. Not only because Game is a “low scoring game” (like football) where they can change drastically due to a small turn of luck but also because they themselves can be gamed by ratio-beneficial-behaviours* and will vary drastically because of quality and location. For example, many guys can half their approach to lay ratio by Daygaming in Eastern Europe compared to London. That’s why I don’t include any ratios below as evidence of progression. 

* Or RBB, if you love new jargon, which I do when I come up with it. 

First 18 Months / First 1000 Sets (Beginner / Lower Intermediate)

We’ve all got to start somewhere and where’s better than the beginning? Where does the beginning begin, though? Is it that moment when you first hear about Game? Is it when you first hear about Daygame? How about when you first start seriously considering doing it? In my books, the journey begins when you are certain that you want to start Daygame and start making real world efforts to approach. In practice, that might mean walking around for two hours and not actually approaching. Nonetheless, I still consider your Daygame Journey begun. 

From there you’ll learn to manage your AA to a point where you can consistently put in good volume because, let’s face it, Daygame does not work for beginners sans volume. This means doing 25 – 30 per week for most guys. Maybe if you’re living in a very small city and have to make multiple trips to other cities that could become 50 – 60 over two weeks. I recommend this take place over four sessions each week (eight every two weeks for small city rednecks), with each session separated by no more than one day and two hours per session. For those living in very small cities, you may need to go out more frequently to find the sufficient volume and not burn your home to a crisp. 

During this time, and beyond, you’ll learn how to stop a girl properly, open, demonstrate attractive traits, generate an enjoyable conversation, develop a connection and close, while standing with strong, confident and relaxed body language. Record your sets. Analyse them afterwards. Journal and reflect. Yes, this is like a second job, but it is required. More below. 

With the phone numbers you collect you’ll learn to employ a cookie cutter texting structure that can reliably yield a certain ratio of dates. On those dates, you’ll run a predictable combination of get-to-know-you-while-still-fun conversation topics combined with planned verbal and physical escalation. The aim of doing this is to reach proficiency in something but you must remind yourself that this is not the be all, end all of Daygame. These are simply the stabilising wheels which give you the confidence to ride the bicycle without them.

Your key aim during this period will be to take advantage of your initial enthusiasm for Daygame. Let it be your obsession. Read the books. Listen to the podcasts. Put a poster of me up on your wall. The sky’s the limit! It is so, so important to take advantage of this period because it will help you to persist through the incredibly steep learning curve of Daygame. 87% of all the guys who fail to reach lift-off with Daygame do so because they spun their wheels. They dipped in and out. They did 100 approaches one month but then none the next. They lacked consistency and consistency is the most important virtue of a beginner Daygamer. If you’re truly consistent and don’t succeed then you’re probably retarded. 

******

Before moving on let me talk about what I consider to be the difference between a beginner and an intermediate. A beginner is someone who is still making silly mistakes, at least within the framework they’ve developed for themselves. An intermediate is someone who rarely makes silly mistakes and is proficient at sleeping with women from Daygame. He has a repeatable process. Of course, he will still make mistakes, but mostly in novel situations. A lower intermediate, to me, is the guy who is gaining some proficiency and already has his first Daygame lay. 

*****

Second 18 Months / Second 1000 Sets (Intermediate)

Let’s start off on a harsh note here: if you’re 18 months in and have already done 1000 sets, and you’re not proficient, then you screwed up somewhere. Likely, it was a lack of consistency. For those who actually did pull their finger out, we can continue. 

At this point in the journey you’re likely to start to slow down your approach rate. You don’t have to “beat AA” anymore and so there’s no need to talk to so many girls. You don’t have to spike your adrenaline so hard in order to temporarily build the confidence to do so. In practice, this means moving down to 20 sets a week, over three or four, two hour sessions. However, it’s more likely now that you can actually enjoy your time Daygaming and have met some good wings. This will transform your time out on the streets and you may find yourself looking forward to Daygame and the social side of it, which is a core element of this leg. 

This is a critical junction because you’re moving towards something I’m a big proponent of: Daygame bringing joy to your life. This is what I would nominate as the key theme of this part of your journey: fun. Daygame should no longer be painful. If it is, you screwed up somewhere along the way. 

It is at this point that you’ll want to start taking more risks. Push for faster lays, whether that be escalating in a way to bring them forward by a date, or going for more i-dates and seeing if you can get an SDL. Start taking some trips as well. Explore cities and check out what the community vets have been harping on about all this time. Doing so will improve your ability to push things quicker simply through your self-enforced transience. 

As well as understanding how to move things faster, start to understand your niche and what works for the girls who are your type. Daygame is one of the exceptions to the “jack of all trades” saying. In full, it is:

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”

In Daygame, you don’t want to be a jack of all trades. You do actually want to be a master of one. Find your niche. Know what they like and what they dislike. Become the enzyme which is designed to digest them. This is part of making Daygame more fun: stop going for girls who are merely objectively attractive and go for the ones who are both objectively attractive and who are just your type. 

Beyond: Year Three Onwards

It’s at this point that you want to break free from all of the shackles of expectation. Daygame should be a thing that only contributes happiness to your life. You’ve worked hard for the past three years and left a lot of yourself in the ring. You no longer have to do anything because someone else made you think you ought to do it. In essence you don’t really “do Daygame” anymore, at least not in the capital D sense. You don’t schedule sessions, unless it’s with a wing – who’s now really your good friend – and you feel like throwing some sets out. Otherwise you’re only Daygaming when you really feel like it or else simply as part of your day to day life. 

If you’re this far into the journey and don’t feel comfortable letting Daygame just be a part of your life, you screwed up. That’s been a running theme of this post: if you reach stage X and haven’t achieved Y, then you screwed up. Like I said in the introduction, doing your 1000th set won’t bestow great Daygame knowledge. However, it is a good milestone by which you should have made a certain level of progress by. They’re milestones, not activators. If you have found yourself reading this post and thinking “I’m X and haven’t achieved Y yet,” then you seriously need to pull your finger out and get working. As I keep on saying, you probably lacked consistency. 

The only time I’d recommend re-entering immersion is while on a trip. Then you can revisit that familiar rush of approaching. Speaking of trips, you can now feel free to go wherever you like. Return to cities you loved and try out new ones you’d love to explore. The shackles are lifted and you’re free to do whatever you want to do. 

When it comes to the girls themselves, approach only the ones you really want to. Those who are just your type. Naturally, you won’t maximise your yearly lays by doing this, but the whole point of this final part of the journey is to maximise happiness. Let Daygame be a purely positive contributor to your life. 

Allow yourself to dabble in relationships as well. Don’t be afraid to get into one and test what it’s like to be off the market for a while. Even settle down with her if that’s what you want in the long run.

You could, quite rightly, ask how I can promote such a path when I didn’t follow one myself. After all, I kept on Daygaming obsessively for eight years, not three! My reasoning here is that most people aim for (and ought to aim) for 80% of the results and not push past the point of diminishing returns. Reaching the intermediate stage is an incredible achievement for them and one which will result in a massive improvement in their lives. It’s only the select few – the particularly brave and/or mad – who ought to push ahead and aim for 100%. It takes a certain kind of mindset to do this successfully and not all of it comes from personality virtues. This is why I didn’t give an experience level to this stage of the journey, because only those who keep on pushing beyond the three year mark can truly become advanced Daygamers. 

I used a video game analogy in my thoughts on retirement post and I’ll continue it here. For most guys, completing the single player story and having fun with their friends on multiplayer is enough. They can enjoy their time with the game and then move onto another. Maybe from time to time they revisit the old video game to relive some of the fun. It’s only the slightly unhinged who stick around to get the platinum trophy. I hope that by choosing words like “mad” and “unhinged” you can see I’m attempting to show you that, when it comes to Daygame, at least, more is not always better. It takes a certain mindset to make the “more is always better” a logical belief. 

Exceptions For Age

Before signing off and shilling all of my products and services, I want to make some exceptions for age, which all depends on whether you want to have a long term partner and a family. If so then you might shorten or even skip out certain stages. This is my current recommendation:

• If you’re between 33 and 35 then put in the work to stay in contact with the girls you see as potential marriage material. “The One” doesn’t exist but “One’s” do. There are only so many potential “One’s” out there and you will only meet a certain amount of them. Do not let them slip through your fingers. 
• As you’re nearing 35 and push past it you should be prioritising dates and seeing these potential One’s over dates with girls you haven’t slept with. Once you’re past the age of 35 you should cut the second, risk-taking phase out of your Daygame Journey and focus solely on finding your long term partner
• If you’re older than 38 then you should definitely skip that phase and focus on finding an LTR from the very start of your journey

Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown

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