As promised in this month’s long form Spotify podcast, here’s the companion post which summarises the concept and provides you with a written reference.
One theme that connects nearly all Game advice is that it’s based on getting girls to laugh. It puts being “cocky funny” forward as the best way to act around girls to sleep with them. If they challenge you, you’re supposed to react with an “agree and amplify” response. Specifically for Daygame, in the London Daygame Model, you open and then use a teasing observation and continue making jokes throughout the set (spiking the energy).
This is really good advice for a beginner because he needs something to lean on while he builds confidence with girls. This advice is the stabilisers that help him to find balance while conversing with the fairer sex. It also, at a deep level, makes sense to guys just starting out. You can imagine that being cocky funny works because usually girls who laugh at your jokes are into you. If you can replicate that with many more of them, then surely you’ll get many more of them? They’ve probably had moments of very high confidence in their life – being in state – and when that happened everything they said just hit. Every joke they made got a laugh. You might have felt so comfortable talking to girls as you do with your friends and what do groups of guys enjoy more than some good banter?
This is great advice… but what if there were other types of girls out there? What if you’d exhausted the usefulness of your cookie cutter method and want to expand the pool of girls you can appeal to? What if you want to expand your calibration? This is where introducing some categories of girls comes in. There are many ways to do this: introverts versus extroverts, external versus internal referencing and forest versus city versus countryside people, for example. In this post we’re going to break girls down into comfort, serious and banter girls and talk about how to tweak your Game for each type and which ones you will appeal to more.
Comfort Girls
Comfort girls are looking for a man who can display warmth and power (dominance) in equal amounts and in a fatherly way. You should make jokes by comparing them to kittens and small, cute animals. You should push masculine-feminine polarity by comparing yourself to her and using dichotomies such as big and small, hard and soft and rough and smooth.
These are your quintessential good girls and want a boyfriend and probably a husband and a family down the line. That doesn’t mean she won’t have her occasional flings here and there, and that’s who we’re trying to be. She doesn’t want a bad boy, per se, but an acceptable level of danger for her softer tastes.
Comfort girls are very common, especially in countries with more traditional masculine and feminine polarity, such as slavic countries. You can spot them by their soft clothes and facial expression. They will tend to radiate warmth and happiness. Don’t mistake them for being weak, though, their frames are just as hard as any other girl’s, it’s just that what they like projects more warmth.
Don’t be fooled by the word “comfort” here either. Just because we’re moving away from a banter-assumed framework and into other ones, it doesn’t mean that your sets will be boring and that you’ll try to be this kind of girl’s emotional tampon. Comfort girls still want to play, but the style of play is different. Just like Love Languages: whether you believe in them or not, the point is that different people perceive love in different ways; showing a girl you care by your touch isn’t as powerful when she prefers words of affirmation, for example.
Serious Girls
Serious girls are… well… serious. They’re serious about their life. They’re serious about their fashion. They’re serious about going to the gym. They have reasons for doing nearly everything. They are in control and they like it. They will often be looking to improve their life and climb the social-economic ladder. They are, perhaps it could be said, more transactional in their mindset. They aren’t living in dream worlds like comfort and banter girls, they’re serious about improving their lives! They’re more ambitious. In some ways, even masculine.
They are more common in metropolises and large, capital cities where one can find the best opportunities. They will usually have neutral facial expressions and wear clothes with more style and harder edges. They are usually quite fashionable in a mainstream way.
When you approach serious girls you should prioritise qualification because serious people love explaining their lives to others; they have reasons for doing everything they do, after all. When opening, be upfront and rather than using teases for your observations instead say something interesting and tell her why she stood out. Don’t misunderstand serious girls as being boring, though, you should still use jokes, but they shouldn’t be at the forefront of your charm offensive. Instead, they should be more like “drive-by” jokes where you don’t dwell on them. When texting serious girls keep things short and to the point. Don’t use many emojis and move to logistics quickly. Overall, you’re showing her that you’re not a dancing monkey and that you’re someone she can date who’s as serious as her.
I want to include a disclaimer here: an uninterested girl will commonly be serious and logical with you, but an interested serious girl will still show flashes of emotional response and will allow escalation. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that “oh, I’ve just been meeting a tonne of serious girls and so I need to change my Game for them” if you don’t have enough SMV. Always remember that zero multiplied by any number is still zero.
Saying that, we should also remember the pareto rules of interest and availability: 80% of girls will simply never like us, we’re just not their type. A further 80% of those who might like us are unavailable to the extent that nothing can happen. That leaves us with four out of a 100 women who we have a chance with, if we approach blindly that is. If only one more of those four women convert then our ratio moves from 1:100 to 1:50 to 1:33 or even 1:25. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that by changing your tact for serious and comfort girls there may actually be a massive change in your results.
Banter Girls
Banter girls prioritise finding a guy who is just as verbally dexterous as her. She wants to have a good rally where she might win or lose, rather than just serve past the usual weak wristed player pitted against her day-to-day. They are usually more cat-like and when you play with them – banter with them – their energy perks up and you can tell that she’s enjoying herself. With banter girls, you may spend your entire time with them vibing, from meet to lay.
You can spot banter girls primarily from their facial expression as they will carry an air of mischief with them. When you look at a banter girl the predominant emotion you can imagine her having will be impishness. When it comes to their fashion, they often show a level of fractionation and have mixtures of good and bad girl tells.
What About You?
Just as there are comfort, serious and banter girls, there are also comfort, serious and banter guys. I think that everyone has a primary strength, a secondary strength and a weakness, and that everyone has their own spheres of attraction. If you and the girl line up perfectly then you’re a great match and, given you meet her baseline level of physical attraction and that she’s available, that sex is likely. If you have a weak match with her then sex is possible but quite unlikely. If you have no match at all, let’s say she’s a strongly serious girl and that’s your weakness, then sex is very unlikely unless you catch her at just the right moment, such as after a break-up where she’s looking for a rebound.
Guys with strengths in comfort and banter will be great at projecting that fatherly warmth that comfort girls want and can spar with the best of the banter girls. However, when they approach serious girls they can come off as childish and immature. Guys with strengths in seriousness and banter are great at qualifying girls and can similarly give banter girls the rally they love. When they approach comfort girls, though, they can come off as callous and uncaring. Guys who are strong with serious and comfort girls are often salt of the earth types who are very dependable and would make great boyfriends but when they approach banter girls she usually finds him a bit boring. Every great Daygamer focuses on his niche and doesn’t worry about getting every girl and every type (it’s not possible!). It’s always better to focus on your strengths rather than try and fix your weaknesses because girls love us for an abundance of strength, not an absence of weakness.
Action Plan
First, you should think about where you sit within this categorisation. Assess your lays and put each girl in a rough category and then look at your results; who you sleep with says more about who you are then you can ever guess about yourself. This is because we attract people with similar modes of thinking.
Then, as you’re out Daygaming, make a judgement before each approach based on their facial expression, mannerisms and fashion and see whether you’re correct. Make a note of each girl you reach hook point with and see if you’re right or not. You can also try going out and doing all your approaches one day in a certain style. Approach every girl as if they’re all serious or comfort girls, rather than using your assumed-banter framework.
With this information you can work out where your strengths and weaknesses lie and lean into the former. You can build your calibration and have a better appreciation for how a set is going to go, before you go in.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
If you enjoyed this post and want to support me in making future content then please consider buying one of my books, signing up to my Patreon or hiring me for coaching. Follow me on X for daily updates and listen to my podcast – The London Daygame Podcast – on Spotify. Click on the links below to find out more.
> Buy the best of Thomas Crown, Volume One
> Buy my beginner’s guide to Daygame
Thomas Crown PUA 