There’s a whole lot of binary going around these days. Either she’s a whore or she’s a timewaster. You’re either the player or you’re being played. Well, the world isn’t so black and white. That girl will be a whore for one guy and a timewaster for another because of her upbringing, genetics and your level of SMV relative to hers.
One problem with the massive upswing of cultural narcissism we’ve experienced, especially since the advent of social media, is the desire for people to “be the one who called it.” Day after day, talking heads are making wacky predictions so that they can be the one who got it right. Like a broken clock, twice a day, they are. Not only that, but the predictions become wackier as the clocks vie for attention. This adds to the ever-growing cacophony of guys saying that the Game is gone and that if you aren’t playing as the aloof arsehole, you aren’t playing at all.
Really, it’s just guys with insecure attachment styles who learned to be a different kind of insecure. Much like how the opposite of love isn’t hate, the opposite of being anxious isn’t to be avoidant, it’s to be secure. If you haven’t read about attachment styles before then I recommend you do.
A lot of pick-up material teaches you to be avoidant – to push the girl away even down to the subcomms level – and avoidant personalities attract a lot of anxious personalities. The avoidant personality pushes the anxious person away and the anxious person doubles down both their efforts to get the avoidant person and their protest behaviour (acting out). Are the pieces fitting together yet?
This leads to a sexual echo chamber. Either she’s secure and can see you coming from a mile off. Nothing much ever happens with her and you chalk it up to the numbers game. Or, she goes through your avoidant pick-up process and becomes another brick in the wall of belief that says the world is made up entirely of whores and timewasters.
My advice: (1) go out into the world and explore different cultures. Guys coming from America, for example, will be shocked at the level of “goodness” one might find in Eastern Europe. (2) Research attachment styles and make yourself more secure. When you do that, you’ll start to see the shades of grey in this world and suddenly those good girls will start to appear.
If you’re interested in improving your Daygame and dating and doing so in a secure way, follow the links below.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
> Buy the best of Thomas Crown, Volume One
> Buy the best of Thomas Crown, Volume Two
> Buy my beginner’s guide to Daygame
Thomas Crown PUA 