I recently left this comment on Social Parkour’s blog regarding 10s:
A 10 is a who makes you question your r-selected strategy 😉
I got to thinking about that comment, and wanted to write a post expanding upon the point.
In my time as a Daygamer I’ve dated one girl who I would consider my 10, or at least my version of a 10 right now because I’m sure that this can change over time: all the standard aspects of attraction, but in particular, very tall, eye-fucking such that words weren’t required, and a big, warm smile. Over two dates I couldn’t break down her LMR, once at Crown Plaza and the other time at the door of her AirBNB apartment (she was in London for two weeks for an internship and had wealthy parents). She was 17 as well, so that added even more desire on my part to get the lay. If she had been staying in London for longer or living here, I would have definitely gone out on “proper” dates with her even post-lay, which is something I very, very rarely do.
But it was the big, warm smile that clinched it for me; the way that made me feel rather than any standards of beauty which all men unanimously agree upon. The sensation of being at peace and interacting with someone without agenda. That’s what I was alluding to in the comment that I wrote. In fact, for all attraction, it only exists inside you. Your body tells you that she is attractive, rather than her sending out some sort of laser beams which forcefully stimulate your boner.
A girl who you consider to be your 10 is the type of girl who awakens your latent Madonna/Whore complex. You start to think to yourself that she wouldn’t have sex on the first date, that you will need extra dates to sleep with her, and that you’ll need to take her on fun post-lay dates to keep her around. That flies in the face of all the data I’ve gathered in the past year: that every girl wants to be moved fast as long as it is done well, and that post-lay the power reversal is universal. Reading back the last paragraph, it’s quite clear that everyone has their own agenda, whether it is conscious or not.
All of this leads me to say that the concept of 10s is very damaging. It’s been said a lot of times before by various sources that “a 10 is just a girl you don’t think you can get”. By identifying someone as your 10, you’re immediately lowering your self-esteem and reverting to your old ways, thinking that k-selected gestures of affection will carry the day.
So I see the practical advice here of being to wipe “10s” out of your dictionary. Just imagine that you’re Stalin, erasing his enemies from photographs as if they never existed. Eventually, by this process, your body will follow your mind and cease to consider such girls in what is actually a harmful way.
5 thoughts on “Ruminations on 10s”
Thomas, now as I know what kind of incredibly disciplined daygame hustler you are, I was a meditating over the past post-London days on what to respond. Just to not reply shit. It also took a beer or two.
To approach the topic of ’10s’ properly, let’s start with Oscar Wilde:
‘Beauty is a form of Genius–is higher, indeed, than Genius, as it needs no explanation. It is one of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in the dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned. It has divine right of sovereignty. It makes princes[ses – not to get it wrong for our purposes] of those who have it.’
One might add youth to the equation. 17yo daddy’s girl? Nice.
After having swallowed the red pill and given up the purity illusion, there shouldn’t be any ‘latent Madonna/Whore complex’ any more, should it? At least you, given your clear view and structured attitude towards the life of a player.
But anyway, it’s about that passion of mine, the 10s.
I still stick to the definition that she must make a living out of her beauty, full time and on the open market (ruling out marriage to beta provider). That’s also a form of genius because most models indeed do not achieve that but rather use “I’m a model” for status and ego boosting and probably as the afterburner of their hypergamy carreer.
And yes, another valid definition is “a 10 is just a girl you don’t think you can get”. That’s the beauty of it, of her – breathtaking and legshaking (cf. Milano set 2 of day 2). That’s what keeps me in game, bearing the grind, after all.
And of course we should NOT “reverting to your old ways, thinking that k-selected gestures of affection will carry the day.”, why should we? We should even not try to tighten our game when in set but rather loosen and let go while at the same time wanting nothing more than to FC her.
Which is pure Zen mastery, aimless aiming. And The 10 is my Daygame koan.
Regarding the m/w complex: we’ve eliminated it as best we can with our behaviours (which follows from the “clear view and structured life”), but it will take time for that to sink entirely into our identity. I think krauser said it last Saturday that you know that it’s entirely gone when girls start to see you as “the guy who girls cheat with”.
The background is black and the font colour is grey, not good for reading…
Yeh I was waiting for someone to bring it up… Trialling some new palettes
I instead *like* black/grey, although a lighter grey would be nicer.
I would rather object the pic of the glass—together with the black background, it creates the subconscious feeling of (drunken and dirty) night game or at least Gutter Game which is nothing you actually pursue, wise man.