Date Report: My Own Damn Fault

1 – Background

I met a Romanian girl called Alina a week ago on Saturday evening. She bubbled during the set and visibly seemed to rock back and forth when I said certain things. There was a lot of eye twitch and one great sign was where I played the parody brute:

“Well, I’m just a man. I can’t control myself”.

“I’m a woman”, she almost yelped. The polarity was clear as day.

She was 20, tall, with incredibly long and wavy brown hair, and a great quirky manner. Delicious.

I took her number and carried on my session with Mazz, and she text first, that was the first sign that she was ovulating, and I shouldn’t have been so lazy. She was even responding to the follow up messaging and it’s clear now that I should have gone for the SDDL. But I didn’t.

Instead I met her on Tuesday.

2 – Planning

Dates: 1 or 2, depending on how up for it she seemed on this date.

Aims: at least the kiss.

Venues: 2 or 3. She said she didn’t drink much at all and would drink tea, which was fine. So I planned on using the Sacred Cafe in Carnaby, followed by The Old Coffee House (thanks to James for the recommendation), and then the Soho Grind if she seemed on.

Escalation: verbal in the first, physical in the second, and questions game in the third.

3 – Story

Alina was a little late but had clearly dressed up. She was wearing a red riding hood style overcoat and underneath was a pretty blouse, skirt, and tights.

I led her to the cafe and we sat down; I had a cappuccino and she had a herbal tea. Over an hour I laid on my escalation and chipped away at her frame as I’d been learning from Infinite, and it came down pretty easily. I ensured that I fractionated on and off, going from romantic topics like the guys she before going back to things like her home and what Romanians are like.

Whenever she gave good compliance, which was snowballing, I’d complement her on something.

It was going well go I gestured for her to sit on my right angle (we’d started across from each other), and then even closer, and I got her right next to me.

Up close I could see that the eye twitch was there again. 

We bounced down the street to the pub (The Old Coffee House), and she had the most miniscule glass of wine I’ve ever seen. I had a tasty pint of beer.

We sat next to each other in a booth and I yanked up the physical escalation, touching her hands more and her hair, near the roots. Eventually she even reached over to touch my hand and kino me. I could tell she wanted to kiss me because of her triangular gazing, so I just went forward and we made out. She bit my lip too.

I did some more playful tooling a la Infinite and told her that as men we’re very good at reading the newspaper, watching TV and eating steak. Then I asked her whether she was good at those things and she smiled and agreed, getting the irony of the whole bit.

Now comes the first slip-up… kinda:

“So, tell me a secret about you?”.

She giggled and became a little unsure. “You mean like how I put on my pad?”.

“Haha, not quite… Something embarrassing. Something naughty”.

That was another sign, as well as the texting, that when we met she was ripe for the plucking, because now it appeared she was on her period. She seemed horny, though, and bit my lip when we kissed. As regular reader will know I’m not scared of a little bit (a lot) of blood, and decided to push forward given that she was in front of me right now.

I bounced her again to the Grind and we sat on stools facing each other as other dates went on around us.

We did the questions game and I found out when she last had sex (three months prior) and her craziest sexual experience (sex at the top of a skyscraper with a guy she barely knew).

She also asked me whether I was the sort of guy who had sex with people and told them he’d call them, but never did. I successfully got around the test. I think she was pre-empting her own ASD.

One of her questions was “what turns you off”.

“It would have to be if a girl tried to dominate me, and I don’t really mean sexually. Of course, that’s a part of it, but it goes against nature for the woman to lead the man anytime”.

She nodded sagely at my response.

Confident that she was up for it, I walked her upstairs and told her we were going back to mine.

“I can’t… I’m on my period”, she told me.

“Which day is it?”.

“The first”.

“Ah that doesn’t even count”.

She looked down. “Yes it does”.

Fair enough, I thought, she hinted at it earlier and it explains why she was so chipper before.

Instead we went for a walk because I don’t think it’s good to end a date on non-compliance, and I asked about what movies she liked. I was seeding for the next date. I proposed that she come over and watch a movie later that week.

“What’s better, Friday or Sunday?”.

“Friday”.

She had chosen the sooner option as well.

So we parted ways around Trafalgar Square and she text me when she got back home.

The next day I texted her, she replied with her customary tonne of smilies but a short message. I guess she just didn’t want to talk right now with her period and all. I followed up with a window on my world ping and told her to send a picture of herself to me.

It was too much and she blocked me on WhatsApp.

4 – Conclusion

A number of mistakes going on here, but you live and you learn, and good lessons are expensive.

The most obvious one: not going for the SDDL. Fuck it, even if I’d invited her out on the Monday I wouldn’t have been period-blocked (I was busy on the Sunday). At the time I thought I best say Tuesday because asking for the next say seems a little needy, but I need to calibrate for horniness more (and just be less lazy with pursuing same day stuff).

Actually asking her about the second date while on the first. I’ve got a real problem with this and while it’s happening, I can hear the voice in my head telling me not to do. But I do it anyway. It comes across as needy, as if you don’t trust her to reply to your texts and come out again. In truth, if she was going to say yes in the moment and go through with it, she would say yes over texting and go through with it.

This is a pretty simple thing to change so here’s my commitment: UNLESS LOGISTICS FORCE MY HAND (i.e. she’s leaving the country and it has to be agreed now before unreliable texting gets a chance to fuck things up) I SHALL NEVER AGAIN SETUP THE NEXT DATE AT THE END OF THE CURRENT ONE.

That leads on to the next point: even with us agreeing the second date and her messaging post-date, I needed to realise that sex had already covertly been agreed. Literally all I needed now was comfort and a little logistics to get her out again. I’m quite eager to reach the part of Infinite which goes over the bubble-bursting texting because I need the skill to get girls who need a little more time. Right now most of my lays have come from first dates and are very smash’n’grab. My inexperience lies in the longer plays, so that’s the area I need to learn about.

But even when I sent my message, I knew I was doing the wrong thing. It was as if I was sorely tempted to risk fucking things up for myself. I knew the smart percentage play was just to acknowledge her message with thumbs-up and smile, then roll off for 24 hours.

Messaging her “send me a picture of you” could have been construed as anything between a tasteful selfie and a full blown naked pic. Considering the period, anything could have been running through her mind. It was too much. Sex was too obvious. It raised her ASD and she knew that taking one more step was the one off of the cliff.

So, as I said, good lessons are expensive. The cost of this lesson was a hot, 20 year old Romanian who’s personality I really enjoyed, and who understood the male dom female sub relationship.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown