Date Report: “You Just Don’t Get It”

1 – Background

I met Julie on a Friday afternoon about three weeks ago. I was standing outside of Boots on Carnaby Street, about to eat a snack, where I noticed her go by and IOI me. I ran in front and called out the elephant in the room and she giggled. She was late to work and was walking off and said “walk with me”.

Usually I wouldn’t but she’d IOId me and was clearly walking off at this point no matter what. I tried to stuff some grounding into a thirty second walk before saying I needed to go the other way and I number closed her.

Over texting she was suspicious, probably because of the short set length, and asked me for my Facebook to check me out. I asked her how old she was and said I should guess, but gave me a clue that she looks a lot younger than she is.

I replied saying “so we’re both 25 then ;)” and came back with “I’m definitely older than that!”. I’d find out on the date that she was 29.

Now, to excuse myself: she’d IOId me and when I pointed it out she giggled. It was pretty clear that she was attracted, so I made a pact with myself: only go on a date if she comes out near Crown Plaza, and on said date, push hard. Either we fucked or we’d never see each other again. And she did actually look very good for her age in a cute way…

2 – Planning

D: 1.

A: sex.

V: 2.

E: verbal in the first and physical and the kiss in the second.

3 – Story

We met at the train station and went to a nearby pub. I started my verbal escalation but it faltered because her programming was all fucked up. Of course, she couldn’t verbalise the fact that she was attracted to dominant men and tried to use the get-out clause of “personality is all that matters”. I could tell that she was neutralising the sexuality.

She told me about her work in theatre and I saw first hand what Infinite says about rabitification. I’m assuming she works with a mixture of girls and gays, and so when she said her work was “crazy”, and I pushed for details, she said that one day a girl bent over to get something and someone else just put their balls on her head. I mean, that was 100% a faggot who did that otherwise they would have been fire for sexual harassment…

Classic case of a lack of true creativity and resorting to brash sexuality because of faulty programming. She was giving off false positives. This is common for girls who work in theatre, or the arts in general, in the Anglosphere, because they think that they’re very creative and adventurous, but in truth they’re scared. They can’t strike out on their own and end up thinking that their groupthink makes them unique.

They think that by getting tattoos and piercings, the outward signs of an adventurous spirit, make you those things. Clearly not.

She said that the running joke in her place of work was that they were “kids who never grew up”. I read between the lines and saw the truth: they had never had a strong male influence and thought that their own brand of “go grrrl” enthusiasm could replace it.

To complete the contradiction in belief and action, she even told me that she was the type of person who wanted to feel very safe before doing something. And when it came to physicality, as I leaned in and closed proximity she leaned back, just slightly.

There are some girls who will come out and be timewasters, not because they’re expert Game players, curious, or just No girls, but because they think that they’re the sort of person who would do that. These girls can be got, but through a third date duty fuck.

We finished our drinks and went to the second venue. We sat at the back of the bar with cocktails in the dark.

I went through all of my physical escalation and went for the kiss, but literally had to lean over to do it. She accepted it but didn’t put anything of herself into it, and continued sitting slightly separated from me. I was just shuttling her through the model, not thinking about what I was doing, seeing if she came out the other end as a lay. 

Then I went into the questions game just to make sex so obvious it hurt, and she used her questions to shit-test me on approaching girls on the street. I deflected the first time, but then was honest.

“You’re like a… proper womaniser”, she said.

I must say, even though she was quite annoying, that made me smile and I couldn’t suppress it one bit. 

The questions game went up and up, but I could tell she was becoming uncomfortable; I think I just wanted to whole thing to end so carried on going.

“What turns you on?”, I asked.

She had finished her drink. “I think I need to get back to the station now”.

I walked her back and on the way there just chuckled a little.

She noticed the chuckling and tried to get more free attention from me. “So what is it you’re after?”. I think she wanted me to say “just sex” so that she could return home considering herself a good girl.

I continued smiling and shook my head. “You just don’t get it”.

What she didn’t understand was male/female polarity, and the dom/sub relationship. In a very predictable fashion, she only thought it meant sexually.

She bugged me over text, calling me “Mr. Grey”, so I went for an impromptu date request, thinking that she had an idea of me smashing her, but she was too busy, so I deleted her number and blocked her.

4 – Conclusion

Even though she was older, I’m fine with my decision to go out on the date and try to push hard. I think if I’d been patient then I would have fucked her over maybe two dates but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my time for that. She would clearly be gaming me if that happened. More so than already.

I’m going to set some ground rules to follow in future:

• If she’s older than me, I should only allow 1 year’s difference. And when I ask how old she is, she has to give me a clear answer. Being only 25, there are the odd occasions where I end up with a girl’s number who is older than me. Clearly when she wasn’t clear in her answer, I should have just stopped messaging. It’s not worth fighting against her body agenda for a payoff that makes me feel dirty and ashamed.
• Be especially careful with “creative girls”, i.e. the ones that society assumes are the adventurous ones, but rarely are. They go into industries like theatre because they want to believe that they’re that sort of person, but they’re clearly lying to themselves when push comes to shove. 
  • This is similar to fashion girls but in a different way. Their clothes make them look creative and different, so you approach. You even get good reactions because their entire lives are lived in the social world and they’re practiced at conversation. But at the end of the day they don’t give their numbers because they are, by definition of their job, followers (of fashion) and hence followers of groupthink (feminism). They think that they should take the number and lead. The other problem, which is even bigger, is that they’ve entered fashion and dressed in that way because they are engaged in a status battle with other women, based on their clothes, hence the interesting and different outfits. This status battle extends to their relationships, which they also use as weapons in the status war. So they’re not after experiences, they’re after status (Infinite).

So, I’m quite ashamed at even going on the date in the first place even though I think I made the right choice. Clearly there’s still a pussy hound in me and some sort of self-esteem issue which I allowed to run riot. I know my time’s worth more than this.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown