Turning Weaknesses into Strengths

Recently I did an interview for Lee Cho Daygame’s blog which you can find here and about a week later Seven Daygame did the same. In my post I said that there was a poor perception of the average Asian and that one would need to work and introspect harder than someone of another race. Seven pretty much confirmed what I said especially when he talked about the kind of emails he gets. Now this post is not specifically for Asians – though it applies – it’s for anyone who does not have strong mainstream appeal.

If I were to describe the best looks a guy can have (within reason, I’m not talking about celebrities here nor supermodels) it would be something like this: 6”3’, muscular, lean (let’s say 12% bodyfat), dark hair, tanned skin, facially good looking and white. A societal eight, if you will. The reason why I said white is because I’m talking about who would have the strongest mainstream appeal. If you could somehow aggregate every girl’s idea of an eight what would it look like? And before you jump straight to commenting to White Knight for non-whites read the whole freakin’ post!

Now, what exists outside of the mainstream? There you’ll get the girls who only date black guys, insanely tall guys, insanely muscular guys (the steroid look), skinny artistic guys, blondes, gingers, older guys, etc. Basically there’s a spectrum and right at the centre sits the guys with the most mainstream appeal. As you get further away from that zone you have less mainstream appeal: there are less girls who are into you. That is, the pool of No girls for you is relatively larger than the guy with the most widely accepted appeal. What’s the upside to this? The girls that are into you like you more. The Yes girls are Yes-sier. We have a word for this in the community and that’s polarity. If you sit outside of the central zone you will polarise to some extent.

Now, there are three ways to deal with this.

Subjective

This would involve telling yourself – re-framing the situation – into you saving your time and filtering out girls who don’t show enough interest quickly. It’s quite potent because every rejection confirms your bias and solidifies your frame: “that rejection confirms I polarise and so I can look forward to the Yes girls.”

But remember that it is a re-frame and is covering up the fact that less girls are into you – your ping range (Maybes plus Yes) is smaller than the mainstream appeal guy even when you factor out the “I only date black guys” type of girls – and that in having more mainstream appeal you’d get more girls with higher quality quicker (when total time Daygaming and dating is taken into account). Most girls prefer the safety of the herd and this adds to the power of having mainstream appeal: even when you’re trying to be r-selected the girl is still, to some extent, thinking about how you would fit into their life as a boyfriend.

Objective

I’ve already described this. The Yes girls will be Yes-sier. You’ll get more blowouts, fewer numbers and fewer dates but the lays that you get will be smoother sailing.

What else can you do in the real world? Lean into the skid. Identify where you’re far away from the mainstream and where there’s nothing much you can do about it (i.e. bodyfat % and muscle aside): you can’t change your height, race, facial structure, etc. Take those things and work out whether they will hurt or help your Game. For the ones that can help it: amplify them. Remember that if you’re a high value guy that being able to bear weaknesses is actually a sign of strength: it’s peacocking.

Taking myself as an example: I have ginger hair which doesn’t provide mainstream appeal. Did I keep it short and normal (mainstream)? No, I grew it and I’ve had a beard for a long time too. That’s a whole lot more hair and should get me more IOIs (peacocking). It will also amplify the interest girls show me if they’re into red hair.

Hopefully that will provide some food for thought. My point is that some guys are more attractive than others and Game will never make up for that difference. If that’s true then what can you do about it? You can do your best to turn your weaknesses into strengths by reframing the situation, knowing that there is an upside in polarity, and by increasing that polarity by leaning into the skid.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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