I recently coached an Irish guy in Warsaw who goes by the pseudonym D.J. Caird. He tried to explain how he came to that name but it made absolutely zero sense to me. Luckily, he’s set up a Twitter page so you can ask him there (link here). Mr Caird was actually one of the two students I referred to back in my post on pushing your advantage (link here).
He also has had some coaching from Roy Walker and like any good Daygamer used the same structure for his review on his site as he did for mine. You can find the link to that review here.
Let’s see what Caird had to say about our time together.
*****
I got coaching from Tom in Warsaw recently. An hour call first then five hours infield coaching split over two days a couple of weeks later.
I’m an intermediate daygamer with a good app to lay ratio which has been steadily getting worse as I try to crack the top tier of girls in FSU this year.
First thing I would say is that Tom is very dedicated to this. He’s professional and puts thought into everything he says. For example I sent him a recording of a set before the initial call and he had obviously listened to it carefully and was able to give insightful feedback. Likewise for my list of topic suggestions. Worth mentioning, on this call he gave me a tip for two sets (which he’s not particularly into himself). I immediately put it into practice with good reactions. He sent me all the notes from the call afterwards so I didn’t have to take any myself.
As for the more immersive infield coaching experience.
On the technique side of things, I’d say there were three big pillars that I will remember from Tom’s coaching:
- Pre-approach
- Non-verbals
- Text game
Tom’s a big advocate of pre-approach filtering. He would tend to say that pre-approach filtering is probably best left until after your first 1000 sets. As I haven’t reached that yet, I’m still happy to throw myself under a probable bus if the girl is piping hot. He agreed that it made sense at my stage. But it was still very thought-provoking to hear his thoughts on this and see him put it into practice in terms of how to read IOIs etc. It’s definitely something I’ll be thinking about and will probably incorporate in future as I can see the benefits to your vibe and enjoyment of DG.
Because he said I had many things in place already, the biggest piece of feedback he gave me was to do with non-verbals and pressing my advantage. Especially trying to close the proximity in set. I’ve come across this idea before of course, but seeing Tom do it in-set and hearing his explanation of it really had an impact. It’s about making the set as intense and exciting an experience as possible for the girl, as opposed to an enjoyable but standard interaction from a polite distance. I will definitely be working on this from now on.
It might sound daft to include texting as a part of infield coaching, but as the coaching was split over a couple of days and we hung out a bit besides, I got to run a bunch of text exchanges by him and see his own. I found this a pretty big eye-opener. His texting has a warmth and playfulness that I think mine often lacks, plus I think his decision making over text is very good. For example I got a number of a hot Belarusian girl in our time together which seemed like a fairly weak lead. I was lacking inspiration so he suggested the first text which got a slightly shit-testy reply and he suggested a brilliant response to that. After that I continued with the kind of style that I’d seen him put into action and got her out on a date (to nowhere, but the texting did its job).
Outside of technique, here’s what I took from the coaching.
Possibly the most beneficial aspect of daygame coaching is just to get a sense of the guy and consider the traits he possesses that make him advanced. As I said to Tom, it’s easy to imagine him as an army officer. What I mean is he has a kind of efficient, cut-the-bullshit, take-action manner. He’s also a sound lad who’s fun to hang out with – and obviously that mixture is vital – but I think it’s this sense of a strong spine that I appreciated the most as a fellow daygamer.
After the coaching he sent me detailed notes including ideas he had not yet shared with me and some infield recordings of his which were also really useful and will get repeat listens and comparisons to my own recordings in future.
There was loads of stuff I haven’t mentioned here but we’re already at a healthy word count and I’m sure you get the idea.
Would highly recommend coaching with Tom as he is obviously enthralled with this whole thing and has put many many hours of thought and action into it. He’s able to share what he’s learned articulately and generously.
*****
Thanks for kind words Caird!
If you’re interested in coaching then send me a message using the contact form on my coaching page.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
Thomas Crown PUA 