I’m writing this, somewhat poetically titled, blog post this month to cover two trends I see in my students and online: the power of a “Daygame Model” and what exactly a Daygame Model is. Throughout this post, you can swap out the word “model” for “method” whenever you wish; it works for both.
First of all, let’s talk about what a Daygame Model is. This is where, I think, many people slip up, because they confuse models with culture. I grew up on the London Daygame Model (LDM), i.e. “Open, Stack, Vibe, Invest, Close.” Other people might be followers of Todd V, who I think, in his “System” product, recommends a model of “Open, Premise, Evaluate, Narrative, Close.” I try to take my students’ minds away from models and, if they really must have one, I tell them their model is OTC: “Open, Talk, Close.” Alternatively, there are SDL models given in Krauser’s Daygame Nitro and in Anthony Hustle’s books. There are definitely many other models out there. The issue lies in conflating a model as anything more than a structure, and seeing, for example, LDM as the aforementioned five conversational stages plus cultural accoutrements, such as a leather jacket, boots, skull t-shirt, front stops, comparing girls to animals and trips to Eastern Europe.
This is where a lot of the aggro comes in; not because the person disagrees with the model, but because they dislike the culture. They poo-poo a model because of it. Or else they are actively trying to define themselves in opposition to The Other, which is something I talked about in my post earlier this year on whether Daygame makes you weird or not (link below). Getting back to the matter at hand, it’s a lot easier to define yourself negatively, in opposition, than to create a positive expression of your identity. It’s a lot like The Force in Star Wars, where the Dark Side offers quick power: it’s a lot easier to gain notoriety and social media followers through negativity. Compare that to slow ascension through the Light Side, which in the end offers more power – which is used ethically – because you act in accordance with nature. Daygamers who are positive and act in good faith are simply put, better and more successful Daygamers.
That’s why my first call to action in this post is to tell you to stop defining yourself in opposition. Choose what you like and you enjoy and build your identity around what you’re enthusiastic about, not what you hate. Other people are free to make their own decision and, if you’re the competitive sort, then you can sleep soundly in the knowledge that it will all be decided out on the street.
The second point I wanted to touch on was the power of a model. Simply put, the best model for you is the model that motivates you the most, and any model is valid as long as it follows the natural laws of the universe such as “attraction, comfort, seduction,” “scarcity equals value,” “high value women sleep with high value men,” the Goldilocks principle, the Golden Ratio and the Fibonacci sequence. This might mean conversational structures such as LDM or OTC, for example, or different aspects of a seduction, such as taking Instagram over WhatsApp, going for i-dates or doing two sets. Find what you like to do, make that your own, personalised model, and develop an unshakeable belief that the model is helping you to get laid.
This is another one of those cases where I have to refer back to something I’ve always said since I started saying it: to be good at Game, you have to be able to hold contradictory views at one time. The contradictory views in this case are that you must put belief in your chosen model to the extent that it motivates you and you believe that the model is aiding you in getting women, and that it’s not the model that’s getting girls, it’s You (capital “Y”).
Beginners find this very tough to do, and it’s another reason why many men find Daygame so difficult: they are simply not delusional enough. That might be an odd thing to hear, but hear me out: I believe that there is an optimal level of delusion. Take confidence, for example. It’s better to be overconfident than underconfident. With the former, you make more attempts than with the latter, and so end up with more success and more failures. However, if you can remember the successes and forget the failures, you can develop a better ratio of positive to negative reference experiences and can bring more, genuine confidence to future attempts. Then there’s someone who’s way, way too confident in their ability; they never meet their sky-high expectations of their results and so become frustrated and take on negative traits. This is just one example of having an optimal amount of delusion.
Most guys don’t have the optimal level of delusion. They don’t have the ability to hold contradictory views at once. Here’s another example: as a beginner and lower intermediate, you should assume that every time a woman looks at you, that it’s an IOI. Now, of course, very few of them will be, and over time you should teach yourself what a true IOI is, but which mindset is more beneficial: to tell yourself that they’re IOI’s or not? The guy who’s under-deluded will never benefit in this way because he sees too much as what it truly is. The guy who’s over-deluded will become angry and frustrated at women for supposedly checking him out and then rejecting him. Find the optimal level of delusion.
This spills out into everyday life, as well, and helps the world go around. For example, we all know about terrible things that can and will happen to us in life: we could be in a fatal car crash or our airplane could be hijacked by terrorists; your partner could cheat on you and eventually your beloved family pet will die. Does that mean that we don’t try? Of course not. Rampant neuroticism does not rule the roost. We are all in a constant state of delusion and, in fact, it’s our ability to mentally block out certain logical possibilities that helps us to exist in this world. Delusion is actually a powerful and, potentially, positive human trait, if it’s used optimally.
This, then, is my second call to action: find the optimal level of delusion. That’s easier said than done, but my recommendation is to utilise the power of auto-suggestion and to know that there is power behind the words you choose to use. You might think something, such as that you’re a negative person, and you can’t really control your thoughts. However, you can control the words that come out of your mouth. Make the decision to become a little bit delusional. When you speak, speak positively, even if, to begin with, you don’t actually believe it. Change the language that you use, for example, “I choose to” or “I get to” rather than “I have to.” Act as if you already were a positive person. Over time, small changes in the words and behaviours you use will shape your identity, just as how when we’re happy, we smile, but similarly when we smile we can make ourselves feel happy.
Bringing this back to your chosen model or method, make it your own. Give it a name. The “Suburbs Daygame Model” or “The Mr E Model.” When you talk, say that it’s the model that is getting the girl and that you need to adhere to the model better to succeed. Outsource your confidence to the model and leverage it so that you make more, and better, attempts. Then when you’re more experienced you can drop the delusion and see that it was You who was getting the girl all along, and that it’s this new You which will succeed in future without needing a model.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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