#39: Twenty-Greateen

“My goodness am I tired”, I thought to myself as I rolled out of bed on Thursday morning. I’d been at the Daygame documentary premiere the night before, and a few beers had turned into many, meaning that I’d got to sleep at around 2am. Now it was 7am and time to get up for work. Urgh.

Rather than having a half day on Friday that week, I’d done the ol’ switcheroo and moved it to Thursday because another guy on my team needed Friday off. As you can tell from the fact that you’re reading a lay report, that change was quite impactuous…

I stumbled through the first twenty minutes of work before filling up on scrambled eggs and beans, and coasting through to midday, at which point I chucked on my leather jacket and put on my best show, striding out of the building in my hungover glory.

My first five sets that day were so-so because it was my first day back after the Christmas break; I hadn’t done any approaches for about three weeks. So when I ascended the steps at Oxford Circus my heart was pounding a little more than usual. As I did, I noticed a girl going up the same steps and thought to myself, “hmmm, she’ll do”, so when we got to the top I opened her. She was nice enough, but I could tell that I wasn’t giving off much pizzazz. She was “seeing someone” but I nonetheless got the number. She didn’t reply.

I was about an hour and a half in and I went up past Leicester Square and turned left towards Seven Dials. By the Long Acre pub I walked past a very tall blonde girl with a long furry coat and a “pounding the pavements” walk. I let her go pass for a second, stopped, turned, noticed her ass swinging from side to side through her coat, and went after her.

The stop was good and she was immediately giggly; rocking back and forth as if waves of force were attacking her body. “Excuse me, I want to say something quickly, you look very nice, like a big grizzly bear”. That hit home and I went on saying how she must love salmon drizzled with honey, but that it would get her claws all sticky.

Lina, as that dear readers was her name, gave as good as she got, flirting with high energy. It was pretty windy, whipping her blonde hair back and forth, and I think that a storm was actually brewing, so I mini-bounced her further up the street behind a UPS van to take cover. Soon enough, that drove off too, so I bounced her again to the imposing concrete pillars outside Coffee Island.

That made my spidey sense tingle, because there was some good compliance here. Not only that but she was clearly into me, giving of herself to the conversation, and snowflaking me when I got her to guess where I was from. She guessed South African and Scottish before finally getting the answer right. She was Lithuanian.

I went for her number saying that I had to go and meet my friend for a coffee, and found out that she was a freelancer and was only in town until Sunday morning, which certainly threw a spanner in the works. As she tapped her number into my phone I asked her about plans for the rest of the day. “Ah well I was supposed to meet my friends but our plans are cancelled”.

Bingo. Compliant, transient, and bored. I’ve had one SDL before and a few failed attempts. The key thing that has connected the successes was that she had nothing else to do and was leaving soon. Even if you have a number of hours to get her to a sex location, she’ll still have this commitment in the back of her mind. And if she lives in the same city, then she’ll have it in the back of her mind that you could go on a date another time.

I told her I could spare a few minutes so let’s go have an espresso in Coffee Island, and she went upstairs to get the seats while I brought the coffees up. I was officially committed to going for the SDL.

We sat and mainly built rapport, although I could always feel her on the edge of fizzing over. As she talked her coat fell open and displayed the most wonderful pair of tits I’d seen in a long time. “I want that”, I thought to myself determinedly, channeling that desire down into my dick and then up into my eyes.

We talked about how Lithuanians were very direct whereas English people hid themselves, “except for you, it seems”, she concluded. “I have something to admit, then”, seeing the opportunity, “I’m not actually on my way to meet a friend. I just said that so you didn’t think I’d follow you around for hours”.

The conversation went on and we got on to food, and again seeing the natural opening, I turned the conversation to alcohol. Lina told me that she really liked a particular type of cider because it was 8%! More openings. “Okay well then I know this is a bit random but let’s go up the road. There’s a really nice pub and we can have a cheeky drink”. I think that at that moment she verbalised the adventure frame, telling me, but mostly telling herself, how all she’d expected to do today was see her girlfriends for something or other. She agreed to come, and 10 minutes later we were sitting down in The Crown pub at the centre of Seven Dials (yes I did choose that one as a private joke from me to me).

We sat down at the back on two stools opposite each other. There were a few people in there but it was still really quiet, and I realised that I was going to have to grow some balls and push ahead with the verbal escalation, even if everyone could hear what was going on.

Using the topic of Lithuanians vs English people we talked about the guys she liked and her type. We talked about films and from there I spiked her energy saying that she would never make it to the end of a film with her favourite actor in. At that point she literally blushed and went fully red, covering her face with her hands. I’ve never seen a girl react that way before, and I like it…

It was at this point that Lina was conveying to me how she needed to be seduced. She told me about how men in Lithuania were very rude and didn’t care about you. She had met a very charismatic, well dressed guy and really fancied him, in the moment, until he just walked off. I could see that this was a possible trap though, if I went all nice guy on her it was Game over. But I think I played it right, by being the English gentleman, opening doors, saying “madame”, but over-hamming it and making it farcical.

At the same time I told her I couldn’t focus because of her breasts, so I reached across the table and pulled her top together, telling her that I was being distracted. Hot damn, did I want a go on those.

Whereas I had originally planned to just do verbal escalation in the first pub, she was a really slow drinker; we only had half pints and in the end it took about an hour for her to drink it. Seeing that we would be there a while, I made an excuse for us to sit next to each other. “This table is too wobbly, our drinks will fall over”, so I got her to stand up while I pulled our stools together and put our drinks on another counter.

From there, I could start escalating physically, taking her hands into mind to compare hand size and talk about the instruments we played. I don’t know how but then we were talking about hair. She said tilted her head forwards, showing me its natural colour, and I saw the next opportunity. I came in close, had a look and went “hmm”, before lightly tipping up her chin. She wouldn’t bring it all the way up to meet my face, it went about half way, so I knew I had to go in search of the kiss. Bringing my head down I kissed her lightly once, but I immediately saw the impact.

For Lina, this was a big moment, no longer was this a chance meeting with a handsome and exciting stranger, this shit just got real. She knew that I wasn’t going to beat around the bush. She stayed in the same position for another second, then we both leaned back, both calm, her eyes telling me “I can’t believe you did that!”, my body language saying “yep”.

We sat there for a little longer, and I made my next move, a small one but in the middle of the day, quite big. I simply took her hand into mine and left it there as we talked. A few minutes later I drew her in again and we kissed, but again not a makeout. Keeping her hand in mine I wanted to project the frame of “this is our own secret adventure”.

Our drinks finished I told her we were going to the “next place”, but we’d go for a walk first. The bounce was a huge test of compliance because having set the romantic frame already, she’d be actively confirming it. She said okay so we walked through Seven Dials, down into Covent Garden, then to Trafalgar Square where we settled into The Chandos, where I planned to use the booths to dirty talk her and heat her up. While we were looking for good seats I stopped, had a look around, and said “hmmm”, unsure of which to pick. “I’m just following you now”, she said. Bingo.

Eventually we were met with an empty booth as the previous inhabitants cleared out, and we sat down next to each other. Something flickered in my peripheral vision and out of the corner of my eye, a family came into the pub. They had a look around and I could see them eyeing up the other bench in the booth. “FFS”, I thought to myself, and I could tell that they knew they were intruding, but intrude they did.

That threw a spanner in the works, but you’ve got to play with the hand that’s dealt, so rather than trying to get her worked up sexually I twisted things around, saying how now we had to really well behaved because there was a child there. If she swore, I’d shake my head and then gesture towards the kid telling her she was a bad influence.

If I did say anything sexual, I’d lean in and whisper it into her ear. Sitting back, I asked “what would you give up good shoes or good food?”. Later on, I’d say “okay I have to whisper this one: how about good shoes or good sex?”. That made her go red again. Bullseye!

With the family there, I went back into hand-holding to keep it covert, and mostly just hammered the frame of “in life you should have regrets of doing rather than not doing”. She was very quirky and eager to speak, so I just let her go ahead with it, dropping my voice down an octave and letting it catch at the end of sentences so that it felt like it was purring from my belly. Every now and then I’d drop back into the conversation to re-steer her back towards the right frame.

With our drinks finished, I was left with the question: should I go for the bounce home now or not? So far she’d given excellent compliance and I’d hammered all the correct frames, but I thought that I might be missing some key buying temperature raises which I wanted to do in the second venue. I thought for a moment, but then was drawn back to when she said that she was following me, and went for it.

“Where next?”, she asked. “To mine to watch a movie”, I replied with cheeky smile. She knew exactly what I meant. “Hmmm, okay, but you need to no I’m not that kind of girl. Nothing’s going to happen”. “Okay”, I replied knowingly. “I just need to be sure that you know nothing’s going to happen”. “Got it”.

The uber pulled up a few minutes later and I did my best to open the door for her in a gentlemanly manner, and we were off, whizzing through the wet streets of London, weaving in and out of traffic as the seedy driver gave us dark looks in the rear view mirror.

We settled down at home and I gave her the customary time to potter about. When I came back I made two cups of tea and plonked them down in front of us, putting Friends on Netflix on my TV.

We chatted a little more and she was sitting up on the arm of the sofa. I knew this was the time where I would have to make a big move to show intent, so I tried to pull her into me. She stayed where she was, and reiterated that nothing was going to happen. Fair enough.

We chatted a little more, and I went back again, this time coming to her and making out properly, but when I went from that to pulling her top up she cut me off. Fine.

I turned back to the TV. “Why have you gone quiet?”. “What? Just engrossed in this episode, that’s all”. This time I moved in and kissed her, then pulled her into me so that she was straddling me. The makeout continued but she cut it off when I undid her bra. Getting there.

More TV, more chit chat, but now I looked over and could see her breath coming quicker. When I kissed her I got her hands above her head so that I could take off her top and bra, letting those marvellous tits spill out into my living and into my waiting mouth. Booyah!

We made out more but she was still telling me nothing was going to happen. “I know nothing’s going to happen”, I replied, “I’m on my period”. “Me too”. Was she quipping or not? Either way I pushed her back onto the sofa so that I was on top, laying my hand around her jaw and looking into her eyes. From there I moved down her body and stripped her down to her underwear, then stood her up and did the same to myself. “Can we be a bit more comfortable?”. “Come with me”. I took her hand and led her to the bedroom, pushing her up against the wall before turning her around and throwing her on the bed.

Now for the moment of truth. I lay down beside her and fingered her a little, no blood, but then when I put a condom on and started fucking her… I looked down and… yep. Period. Again. Three in a row.


Now that’s a talent you can’t teach. I guess the sway I saw on the street was accurate.

In the post-sex interview I learned:

  • I was her sixth partner, but she’d only lost her virginity at 23 and all of them had been one-offs, no boyfriends. That meant that she could count the number of times she’d had sex on her hands and explained why she wouldn’t give me a blowjob.
  • She liked how I was able to dominate her. Being six feet tall, she rarely found men who could.
  • She loved the fact that I was direct and went for what I wanted.
  • She didn’t know when she wanted to have sex with me but thought that it was such a novel situation that she had gone along with it.
  • Her bra size was 38 D (clearly this was the most important piece of information for me to gather…).

Our conversation went full circle and we found ourselves again about Lithuanian people, how they were very direct and went for what they wanted, and how English people could be deceptive. This lead to one of the most hilarious post-sex conversations of my life:


Her: “I’m actually quite racist” *giggles*

Me: “For example…”

Her: “I really don’t like Chinese people, it’s like they came from another planet. They don’t seem human. They eat weird, they walk weird, they look weird. Did they come here on a UFO?”

Me: “Blacks?”

Her: “They smell”

Me: “Indians?”

Her: *roars with laughter and bobs her head from side to side* “They’re always like: come into my shop. No, fuck off!”

Me: “Arabs? Muslims?”

Her: “They scare me”

Me: “Jews?”

Her: “Not the orthodox ones, but I actually met a couple of Jewish guys once and found them really attractive. They had these amazing striking features. But the thing was that on Saturdays they literally would do no work. Even opening a fucking bottle of coke would be work. No wonder half the world hates them”



We had sex again and she gave me a really good massage before I walked her back to the station. We had met at around 3pm and were having sex by at least 7pm, probably a bit earlier actually.

She topped up her oyster at the station then I drew her in. “Well, it was very nice to meet you”. “Very nice to meet you too”, she fluttered, and disappeared off down the escalator.

We met each other again on the Saturday, but we didn’t have the logistics to fuck again (she didn’t have a key for her friend’s place), but to be honest, I really didn’t mind. I wanted to, for sure, but found her company exceedingly pleasant so I was fine. She was really sweet.

We went up to the top of Hampstead Heath and made out while looking out over London, and then went down into town and cuddled up under a heater in the beer garden. It was like dating in reverse: first have sex, then do the romantic stuff. I think she’d seen all these places during her time here and had always fantasised about slotting a boyfriend in there with her. 

Lina sighed and nuzzled into my chest. “I don’t want to go now. It’s been so long since I found someone who I felt safe around”. It’s a blessing and a curse that a Daygamer watches this scene play out again and again. Inside you feel loved and admired, and her gratuity is clear as day. After sex she had told me “before when I had sex, I just felt bad afterwards, but this is nice. I feel attractive”.

I walked her back to where she was staying and kissed her goodbye, and she didn’t want to let go. She knew that when we stopped kissing that she would probably never see me again.

I drew her for a big hug and kissed her forehead. “I’m glad I met you”, she muffled into my chest. “You take care of yourself”, I told her, before giving her a big, warm smile, waving, and disappearing off into the night.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

6 thoughts on “#39: Twenty-Greateen

  1. Agree.
    But what strikes me most: after watching Richard’s gutter game SDL (or rather SNL) infield footage where he also pushed himself to approach despite being f*cking tired.
    Is it a pattern? The secret to perfect state: lack of sleep? 🙂


  2. Pingback: Age

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