#57: The Show Must Go On (Analysis)

This is the first of the Analysis posts which will be released a week after each lay report. I’ve described them in the order they appeared in the lay report so you may benefit from reading them side by side.

I won’t be crediting as I go along so remember the Thomas Crown maxim: if you think you’ve seen it somewhere else before then assume that you have. As I say in my bio: “I am not a creator. I am an executor.”

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Session aims: pick either vibe, outcome or process based goals for a session, especially the first ones of the year. For someone who has the skillset under wraps vibe is the best place to start because it actually causes all the technique to come out properly, hence causing the process to be perfect. Outcome based goals would be a poor choice because my vibe was still ambiguous as I set my day’s goals, which might lead to poor goal setting and disappointment.

Dogs: dogs give me a lot of happiness so I visualise that state when I see them which stokes my vibe.

Vacuuming Nickels: I’ve written a post with this title before (search for it). Basically there are always going to be some sets out there and if you’re lucky you’ll walk past the right one. Consider Daygame in winter as purely putting yourself in the mix, making you more passive, and taking a less active role than the Spring.

Mythologising: she had a non-mainstream style which had been coordinated to achieve a particular look. It was easy to stack off of it. She will also enjoy the fact that you’re paying attention to something she herself put effort into, and it’s not beta bait because it’s non-sexual.

Forcing IOIs: I mainly achieve this by maintaining eye contact with passers by. I think humans are attuned to other human faces pointed at them, so if a girl sees that you’re looking and meets your gaze, or sees you then realises you’re looking and looks back: you’ve got your IOI. Given other people are attuned to you looking at them you can make an educated guess that they aren’t interested in you if they don’t return your look. That’s not to say the lay is out of the question, it’s just a lower probability.

Notifying Your Wing: it’s bad practice to run off to do a set without telling your wing first leaving them mid-sentence. A simple “I’m going to do this one” will suffice.

Eye Response: reading a girl’s eyes as you approach gives you some of the best information for her interest; you should endeavour to make eye contact as early as possible. Frederica’s eyes widened by a tiny amount and I recognised and rewarded the IOI with my own: taking a step closer. It’s all under the radar stuff which a girl will reward you for and immediately sets you apart as the Secret Society guy.

IOI Response: this is classic Mystery Method of returning her IOIs with my own, again this time with another step closer. So far in this lay report a good observation of her style and reading her eyes has made the lay many times easier. Not only that but I’m slowly convincing her of my status as a sexworthy man and showing her that I’ll be escalating fast (a signal that actively excites her). This creates a virtuous spiral of: her IOI -> your IOI (escalation) -> her excitement causing more IOIs; she knows she can spike her on state by IOIing you.

Physical Tests: you must touch her at some point in the set and more than a handshake (<200 set beginners notwithstanding). Nothing too big but a clear sign that you’re making an effort to make physical contact. Usually I’ll do some small touches: pulling the edge of her jacket, prodding or poking her arm, touching the ends of her hair. A long hand hold works but most girls won’t go for it, unless they like you already. The thing is, if a girl already likes me and is available I won’t really need a long hand hold to push forward because I’m comfortable reaching out to touch and comment on items of clothing or hair, for example. Really a long hand hold is a beginner’s tool to accelerate Yes girls so that the beginner can build reference experiences. It’s not that it doesn’t work, and I still do it sometimes when I think a girl will play along, it just feels passive; I want to be able to press my advantage.

Describing Sets in Minute Detail: don’t describe your sets in minute detail because it puts your wing in the listener frame and can lower their state. Better to either say it went well, or badly, and move on, or make the discussion abstract so that both of you can contribute.

Her Schedule: you can roughly add this up by considering her studies and/or her job. If she’s in retail then send pings at lunchtime and after 7pm. If she’s a waitress then use the dead time in the afternoon around 3pm. The aim is to get her responding promptly rather than getting into these weird four hour response times where you try to IOD her for taking ages to respond: it’s the 21st century and everyone checks their phone every two minutes so you should expect a prompt response if she’s interested. Remember the principle that she has no reason to play games with you unless she’s a game-player, or just doesn’t care; in either case mentally downgrade the chances of the lay. An exception is when you receive responses from a girl at regular intervals even though you know her schedule wouldn’t interrupt her replying (e.g. every 50 minutes, every hour, etc. up to a maximum of 2 hours): this is actually a weird kind of IOI where she’s interested but thinks it’s good practice not to show you that too strongly. It’s an IOI because she’s showing that she cares about what you think of her. This is exactly how my first Daygame lay went: I’d receive her response exactly 50 minutes after sending my last message. Lastly, if she’s not a texter but is still interested then you can read this from the fact she conveys good feelz but doesn’t expand on your points and doesn’t banter; in that case it’s purely logistical.

Daily Photo Pings: this isn’t over-investment if you’re getting a good chat from the girl each time. A good rule of thumb is you should never be able to see your last photo ping in the current window of WhatsApp. Photo pings (specifically window on my world photo pings) allow you to convey a lot with a little and do the job of comfort because you can take pictures of everyday things (a meal, a coffee, a book, etc.).

DHV Photo Pings and Mythologising: each ping would contain a new facet of SMV I wanted to promote but in general I want to convey certain traits: masculine desire for (large amounts of) food; intelligence and worldliness; English native. With regards to the latter you can spin it one of two ways: if she likes England then you can keep it simple; if she doesn’t like England or you bantered over English stereotypes in-set then you can ham up your Englishness and boldly declare it the greatest country in the world, perfect to spark some indignant outrage in her.

Photo Ping IOI Responses: as I said earlier this isn’t over-investment. If she’s responding well then it’s clearly a medium of communication which she likes. Considering I can spin the pings to my own benefit, and she responds, it’s a win-win.

Fractionated Photo Ping DHVs: it should be obvious that you need to mix it up so that the pings are interesting. Imagine if you had a wing that messaged you once every other day to confirm exactly the same Game principle.

First Venue Eye Contact: I think it’s always best to start the date looking the other person face to face, even though being closer and at right angles allows for quicker physical escalation. It lets her get a good look at you and calms her down, then when she’s starting to fall into your frame you can start reaching over to touch or inspect things, tell her to sit closer, or literally just drag her chair over if you think she’ll be excited by that (which is what I did in this case).

First Venue Body Language: always sit back and give strong eye contact, then let your eye contact wander away every now and then. In this case this flipped her into the chase frame, as I could tell from her body language.

Body Language IOI Response 1: she leaned forward which was an IOI so I returned the IOI by sometimes leaning in to emphasise a point on something I thought to be important.

Body Language IOI Response 2: if she referenced something she was wearing on the date, or a part of her body in general, I’d lean forward to poke it or look at the thing she was referencing. For example she said at work she got some soot on her face (odd, I know), so I reached forward and very gently just drew my fingertip over her jawline and confirmed “just here?” She was giving me an invitation to escalate physically, just as her sitting next to me later was an invitation to kiss her. Remember that if she notices you reacting to her signals correctly it is a massive turn on. Note that I didn’t lean forward and stay forward, or go to touch her and then keep my hand there; it was all about small leans and small touches and then reasumming the correct posture. You shouldn’t mirror the chase frame.

Conversational Frame Control: whenever I felt bored by what she was saying, or if she talked for too long, I’d cut her off with a tease or make an observation on the surrounding environment. I’d then pick the conversational thread back up and either encourage her to talk again or give my own opinion. The key is that I didn’t let her simply chug along with the conversation because she could take it anywhere. More likely is that I would slip into the listener frame and when she got to the end of her own conversational thread, I wouldn’t be in the right state to carry on, and so the conversation would die. You must have had this feeling before: when there’s nothing more to say on a topic and you lose a kind of excited spark within you, the spark where you’re excited to say the next sentence. Better to cut the thread before risking getting to that stage.

The Kiss: she made it so easy for me to do it that I had to do it. In fact, not kissing her and trying to “build the sexual tension” would have been the wrong choice here. I wanted to confirm the mutual attraction and solidify in her mind that the night was headed towards sex.

Rudimentary Questions Game: I never introduce the Questions Game with rules, I normally start with my first question and then just tell her to ask me something in return. The key tenets of the game is conveyed and I can escalate the questions off of her responses. If she’s giving me non-sexual questions then I’ll test the waters by asking her whether she wants her next question to be “easy or hard.” I’ve had girls before, who I fucked on the first date, where their questions were entirely non-sexual, or they only took my lead and asked me the same questions back. It’s not that she’s not interested, she may just be shy or unwilling to take any responsibility for the lay.

Dirty Talking: usually I’ll ramp up my questions to things like: what turns her on, what’s her favourite position, what’s her craziest sexual experience, etc. It gets her horny and opens up a time-window where the lay is possible.

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That was oddly pleasing to write on my end and I realised just how incredible I am 🙂

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown