#57: The Show Must Go On

This year the lay reports will be following a different format. Rather than posting memoir style lay reports and then collating them for a book, tarting them up a little before releasing them, I’ve decided to post executive summaries to this blog and then release the 12 best lay reports of the year as a memoir. Anything that doesn’t make the final cut (hopefully there will be some!) will be posted here in the classic Thomas Crown style.

As I said, the lay reports posted to this blog will be executive summaries: I’ll be focusing on the what and why, rather than painting a beautiful picture. I aim to show you just how much can be broken down in Daygame, but also how it can appear incredibly simple.

I’m even going to go back to the beginning, to how I wrote lay reports when I was still just sending them as PDFs to Victor: I’ll include (T) whenever I’ve used some sort of tool or to draw attention to a technique. For bonus points copy and paste the lay report into a word processor and remove the (T)s to see how it flows when I’m not pulling you up and out of the story. A week after each lay report is released I’ll do a follow up post and go through each of the (T)s that I pointed out. 

My aim is not to describe myself, or turn anyone else, into a technique monkey. In fact some of the tools mentioned will be in relation to vibe and wings. Instead I want to show how it’s all built into muscle memory now so that I can focus on vibe and Inner Game.


I met Frederica on a cold Saturday afternoon while winging with Mr Rasputin. My focus that day was to start building a good vibe (T) which I was going to carry throughout the year, so whenever I saw a dog I’d point it out (T) and just imagine scratching his head behind the ears while his tongue flopped out. I let the lack of sets wash over me and instead thought about the fact that they would come eventually. As Mulder and Scully would surely agree: “the sets are out there.” (T)

The first set came near Whole Foods when Frederica walked past us wearing a fluffy black coat and flared trousers in a definitive 70s style (T). A nice face with shoulder length brunette hair, but her body kept her at a low 7. I lasered my eyes onto hers and after a second she looked into mine too (T), holding eye contact over her shoulder. I gave Mr Rasputin a heads up (T) and ran over to open her.

Her eyes immediately widened by a millimetre. I smiled and took a small step in (T). I complimented her on her idiosyncratic 70s style and she smiled and thanked me. I took another step in (T). Our conversation was a little stilted, I was rusty at this point, and she didn’t ask me many questions at all, but I’d later find out that she was highly solipsistic (even moreso than a normal 20 year old girl). I remembered to get my physical tests in (T): squeezing her bicep and accusing her of being too strong; and opening her coat to have a look at, and prod, her rainbow coloured jumper. She gave me her number with a strong yes and I returned to tell Mr Rasputin about the set, though I took care in not describing every minute detail (T).

Texting was very easy and once I worked out her schedule (T) I’d get instant replies to my messages. The date was actually set-up on the day we met, so I slipped into a daily pinging routine where I’d send a photo ping containing a DHV (T) followed by some chatter where I aimed to mythologise myself further (T). In 2018 I was lazy with texting in that I didn’t try to send one every day. I lost girls because their neuroticism took over. My thinking is as follows: if she is showing interest, you should show interest back. If she will respond to your messages every day, then you should send them every day (T). I would fractionate the DHVs (T) including: reading French philosophy in a coffee shop; eating a huge post-workout meal; and historical landmarks I passed while on my lunch break. Each one adds up to show different sides of your character but most importantly, it keeps them fresh and interesting.

We originally planned to meet on the Wednesday but I was having some emotional problems that day and so we rescheduled for the Sunday. In fact, in the PSI Frederica told me that she knew she would sleep with me when I was willing to reschedule (she was hungover and feeling bad herself, so it made sense to move the date). I met her at the train station and walked her to my first venue where we sat in armchairs facing each other (T). Her body language was immediately favourable, leaning forward towards me while I relaxed back in my chair (T). Every now and then I would lean forward myself if she said something I liked (T), or if I saw an opportunity for physical escalation (T), or even if I just wanted to break her train of conversation (she talked… a lot) (T). I probably could have kissed her there but it just seemed oddly high risk because we were seated too far away. Instead…

I waited for the second venue, where she plonked herself down right next to me, thigh to thigh, and I kissed her after a few minutes (T). We played a rudimentary Questions Game (T) but it was never structured because we’d already kissed and, I think, both agreed mentally that sex would happen that evening. It meant I didn’t need to amp up the sexuality, heating her up and ‘singing the birdsong’, as it were (T). Really all we needed to do was finish our drinks and walk the two minutes back to mine to have sex, which we did, with no LMR. She actually took her own clothes off.

And now for the roadblock: I couldn’t get hard. Those emotional issues were still with me and I really struggled. We wrestled with it for about an hour until eventually I got a kind of semi, put a condom on, struggled to get it in (she was oddly tight), and came after about 10 strokes, and knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold it back after the fifth. I felt so ashamed, like a fraud: this was the big finale, what everything had been building up to, and I didn’t perform. ‘Oh that’s beta!’ someone might say. But the end product is what the whole thing is about and if you can’t do that properly then she’ll feel it from the moment you see her.

I started the PSI and found out that:

  • I was her 5th
  • She knew I wanted to fuck her when I started pinging her
  • She knew she wanted to fuck me when I rescheduled the date
  • She really appreciated my front stop, and that Daygamers had stopped her before and she’d spilt coffee all over them

Oh yeah and then I noticed she had cuts on her arm. I really do pick ‘em, don’t I?

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

2 thoughts on “#57: The Show Must Go On

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