I think I’ve observed this phenomena enough to write a post on it. Let me describe a situation which many of us have been in:
You’re on a date with a girl and you’re pretty sure she likes you. Maybe the date came off of the back of a strong set, or strong texting, perhaps she pinged you out of the blue fishing for a date request, or perhaps you just shared a moment of deep eye contact which let you know she was into you. Anything which tells you that ‘this girl fancies me.’
But then something odd happens: she cuts off your escalation. She’s relatively non-cooperative given how much you think she likes you. When she responds to your verbal escalation she’s difficult and never fully answers you. For example when you ask her what she finds attractive she responds with things like “I don’t know” or “I don’t have a type.” When you escalate physically she initially compiles but then quickly draws away. You’ll look at her rings and after thrusting her hand forward for you to look she draws it back after five seconds. When you go for the kiss, she rejects it or is excessively timid.
Then something strange happens: you decide that this date is going nowhere and that you’re going to try and bounce her home that evening. You offer it, she accepts and comes back to yours and you get the lay.
Here are a couple of examples to get the idea across fully:
#36: Alicia and I had a frosty set where rapport came hard, but there was a fair bit of kino and we shared a moment of deep eye contact where I could see her pupils twitch with attraction. Though she responded slowly we got straight to the date request and she accepted with a typically French “why not?” However on the date her responses to my verbal escalation were non-committal and she would only temporarily comply with my physical attempts. I went for the kiss in the second venue and she turned her head away and said “nice try.” I didn’t like her behaviour much and offered the bounce so I could at least say that I’d pushed her as hard as possible. She stopped walking for a second, thought about it, and then said “okay” and came back to mine.
#54: This was another girl where the verbal and the physical didn’t line up. Tamari seemed to give me an IOI before I approached but then she fell off of the texting the day after. A week later she reappeared and went fishing for a date invite, which ended up with us meeting at around 9:45pm a couple of days later after a last minute wobble over texting. We had a drink and she was non-committal like Alicia and allowed physical escalation but refused to kiss. Then as we went outside the bar and went to cross the street she suddenly grabbed my hand. I offered her the bounce home and she followed easily. At my door she gave me one of those looks that told me she wanted me to convince her to come in.
Now what on earth is going on?
I think that there are a subset of girls out there who never turn down sex once it’s offered to them (given sufficient logistics and baseline attraction; you’re not going to lay these girls off of the apocalyse opener…). There’s something in their life history and psychology which means they never say no.
The important thing is that they know they’re like this and that’s the reason why they don’t comply with your escalation, even though they like you. The way I see it, their non-compliance is just their ASD rearing its head. Every time they comply they feel shame, whether that’s coming from perceived societal pressure or an innate desire to commit to one man. Or perhaps even because they seem to only be able to satisfy the Alpha Fucks side of their hypergamy.
Another way to understand this phenomenon is through the prism of the forebrain-hindbrain conflict. In the immortal words of R. Kelly: [their] minds telling [them] no! But [their] body! [Their} body’s telling [them] yehesssss!”
My experiences with these kind of girls were never ones with many tattoos and piercings. I think those are actually red herrings and the sign of a girl who will or does have a supply problem (she requires a dominant man to seduce her who’s above what her SMV deserves). Interestingly, the girls who I’ve found this phenomena applies to are the girls with regular jobs, regular lives and wear regular clothes. Perhaps they’re just the “slut” of their friend group (there’s always one in any group of girlfriends).
These are the girls who are enjoying the secret society and modern hookup culture to the full because to the everyday onlooker they’re just normal girls. In fact, I think it’s one of the skills which a Daygamer builds over time: the ability to spot the fakers. Not only can a good Daygamer spot a timewaster, he can spot the opposite: the girl who seems normal on the surface, but in fact is a raging dick-hopper.
Now I’m not saying that any girl who you’d SDL or fuck on a first date is one of these girls; far from it. What defines these girls is their non-compliance up to the lay even though you thought they had high interest. This doesn’t cover the girls who were compliant the whole time. This also doesn’t cover the girls who warm to you over the course of the date; I’m talking about the kind of girl who blows hot and cold throughout.
You truly know you’re dealing with one of these girls after the lay. You look back and think to yourself how the hell did we end up here? A good way to confirm your suspicion is to ask how many sexual partners she’s had. Even if you think her answer will be bullshit, you can at least watch her reaction to your question. You’ll also notice that after the lay the girl will often be pensieve and have that look which tells you that on some level, she wished she hadn’t done it.
And perhaps that is a good place to leave off: it’s not an opportunity to white knight. This behaviour set is buried inside her psychology and can’t be removed, nor should you feel it to be your duty to save her from herself. Just send your +1 texts to your friends and wish her good luck.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
Thomas Crown PUA 
Never made this connection before. But I think you’ve completely identified a type.
You’re right about these girls being under the radar and dressing normal. I find they also try hide their behavior from all but a few very accepting friends.
Great post
[Thanks. TC]
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I’m with Magnum – this is a very good post as it identifies a subset of women who behave in a particular manner.
The thing I like about your blog (and others) is that you are trying to form a whole picture of female sexuality and psychology.
I would wager that the frostiness is an attempt to regulate otherwise unrestrained sexual behavior – and the observant Player will identify this and push through to sex. [Very well put. TC]
I met two Estonian girls in Vienna who told me about an unremarkable receptionist on a cruise ship they used to work on. Unremarkable she was – until the crew were corralled into the mess and shown a VHS (it was a while ago) of her being f$&ked by a whole bunch of senior officers on the ship including the Captain.
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>> I think that there are a subset of girls out there who never turn down sex once it’s offered to them
I picked up this Chinese girl (that was raised in Rio Brazil) two months ago. Very “on” via text. On the date, she gave me a bunch of “WTF” looks, but took most everything I did with not much more than a little verbal resistance. She was Chinese, but had a “Western”/modern attitude.
I have taken 20+ girls to the same restaurant for dates. I have had glorious “love bubbles” in those same seats so many times. But with this one… looking back… one of the weakest bubbles I have ever had.
After dinner, I said, “I am going home… come with me.” She gave me yet another WTF look, but then said yes. And it was so “in-congruent” I almost assumed she said no. But it was a yes. I led her home.
Walked her back to my place… gave her the tour… almost no sexuality in the air at all… but I usually try to kiss a girl (at least) in this situation, so I stepped in and…
She jumped on it. Very enthusiastic kiss (and yet, not what I would call “passionate”). Walked her to my room. As soon as we walked in, she asked “do you have a condom.” I have only heard that twice my whole time as a player.
I wasn’t even that hot for this girl, but as she said that I knew I’d fuck her. I did. Sex was pretty terrible. She stayed for a while. Was pretty sharing about her life… including saying that she doesn’t think she has the highest self esteem (that might be true).
We exchanged a text/two, but never saw her again.
[Thanks. A good point you’ve brought up: the sex. You’d think these girls would be great in bed but I find that their ASD/shame continues even into sex. TC]
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I like your post quite a bit. As usually, you’re doing something a bit more nuanced than “generic” daygame POV.
With that said (and with respect), I’ll offer some counter-points to the analysis.
>> These are the girls who are enjoying the secret society and modern hookup culture to the full
I am sure there are girls like this. Perhaps yours were exactly this. But I’m not sure this statement is true for this type. You even mention “shame” elsewhere… which would be in conflict to “enjoying to the fullest.”
And I think (and this is a theme of mine) that MEN see this behavior and project the idea of “enjoying modern hookup culture to the fullest” as we think we might enjoy and endless parade of quick sex..
(…even though most men I know that can get sex like that — which is a very small slice of players — often feel conflicted much of the time as well).
I think we very often read female psych through at “low res” version of male psych. It’s normal. But I think it leads to a lot of flat analysis.
>> their non-compliance is just their ASD rearing its head
>> the girls who are enjoying the secret society
Do ASD and Secret Society go together? I don’t think so. I think girls that are “sex positive” or hypersexual will show “chodes” ASD, but with a guy that gets it (and I feel certain TCrown does), I don’t think they need to bother. That is getting at the heart of the SS.
I think the “low self esteem” might be a better explanation for the in-congruence.
>> Every time they comply they feel shame
I think you’re more on here ^. Maybe not every time… but if they say “yes” when they are conflicted… when they fail to screen… I am sure they end up in situations that aren’t ideal. And if they have several experiences like this… they could be disappointed in themselves. Disappointed in the pattern.
Low self esteem uses sex to get attn. And the corollary: When a girl gets inappropriate sexual attn/contact too young… she can develop low self esteem.
>> Stealth-On Super Slut
I get “stealth on.” I get that. I think girls that might be down, but also want to screen you first… show the pattern of “stealth on.”
But “super slut?” How do we know these girls are super “sluts?” I think this is more “male simplicity.” A blanket answer that hides a better understanding.
I’ll go back to self esteem. It could be these girls “don’t say no.” And that is a type of “slut,” I suppose. And they are conflicted, as it’s not always what they “want.” And/or they have a hard time enjoying being treated well (low self esteem will reject proper treatment — doesn’t match their view of themselves).
I would also say that the word “slut” really stood out to me. I actually really like chaste girls. I don’t even approach girls with a lot of “sexual display.” But I never use the word “slut” any more. I used to. But the more I get into game, the less that word means to me.
Interesting post, man. And again… you’re doing a great job of “types” in game (of women, of men). It’s a very Thomas Crown quality… and I appreciate it very much.
Viva TC. Viva daygame.
[Using the word slut was a necessary evil. I’m not going to turn down the +1 so I’m not trying to use it in the pejorative sense. It’s only to show that they don’t screen well, as you said, and likely have a high N. TC]
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Adding to Nash’s observations (more astute than mine), David Buss’ Why Women Have Sex is a good deep dive into motivation behind sex (including self-esteem).
I also enjoyed Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man. Although less scientific, it fleshed out linkages between sex drive, self-esteem and mating strategies of women.
[I recommend Practical Female Psychology in my recommended reading. I’ll check out Buss’ book as well. Hopefully it’s not mainly a rehash of Evolution of Desire. TC]
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> I also enjoyed Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man
Highly recommended.
This is not a “mainstream” book. It is close to what guys might call “redpill” – but without the bitter aftertaste.
Very good book.
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