#67: Cold (Analysis)

Girl Game: I’ve been thinking about how to define this for a while and decided to flip the following: Game is the skillset which allows a man to better execute his sexual strategy. The same goes for a girl: it would help her to satisfy the r-selected side of her strategy by obtaining better genes, and the k-selected side of her strategy by obtaining access to a larger pool of resources, which includes a man’s attention. I’d say that this girl was employing good Girl Game because she was 1), deflecting my escalation which gets her more attention in the future, and 2), doing so in a manner which (should) make me feel guilty for doing so (but of course it didn’t). An example of r-selected Girl Game might be her ability to give a come-on to a player which was covert yet still effective.

Feeling how ‘on’ a girl is: I think that it’s pertinent to step back during a date, and between dates, and think to yourself how on is she? There are certain indicators you can look at such as proximity, how well she accepted your touch, how she reacted to your verbal escalation and how she kissed you (if she did), just to name a few, but really this is a metaphysical question where you can simply sense the on-ness. None of the girls in Warsaw were giving me this feeling.

Rage Approaching: normally it’s not good to do things while you’re angry; occasionally Daygame is one of them. I didn’t have much time left in town so I let myself stew, knowing that I could bottle that frustration and use it later that evening. It would push me into more sets than I usually would, and provide the emotional impetus for harder filtering (see below). This isn’t an optimal way to Daygame, though, and can hardly be considered a long term strategy. It works now and then when the situation demands it.

Harder filtering: this wasn’t optimal Daygame, I was just filtering to try and find an SDL or a promising idate: something to take my mind off of the previous ‘failed’ date. To paraphrase what I wanted: proximity, touch with amber reactions – at least – and an open schedule in which to pursue the idate. When you do all those things in quick succession, with minimal comfort and a hard tease, you’re left with the (hopefully) DTF prospects. I did get a good reaction from a Russian girl inside Tarasy and she smiled all the way through the coffee idate, but I could tell that it wasn’t going anywhere that evening; there was just no sexual urgency coming from her. I offered her the bounce for a drink but she declined and I was thankful for it because it gave us a polite way to part. This plan worked out for me that night, but it was in no way optimal Daygame, and I was very lucky to have come across the opportunity that I did.

Facial temperament: now this might just be broscience but I swear I could see potential in this girl’s face. It had a kind of impish quality but as I said to Mr R, it mostly had a kind of ‘darkness.’ There was no better way to describe it; I got an overwhelming sense that this girl was a better candidate for an SDL than all the others, and that was with her walking very, very fast as well. It goes to show that our gut instincts are often the best and that ‘there’s a reason she made you look.’

SDL signs: one of the absolute best signs that I’ve found which leads to an SDL is getting your hand up or near a girls face during the set. I’m talking about touching a girl’s hair up near her ears, but still on the outside of her silhouette (not inside between the cheek and her hair). It’s just so invasive to someone’s personal space that they are either going to be comfortable with it or they’re going to veer away. Now, I’ll only do this kind of extreme physical test if she’s given me green lights so far i.e. I’ve closed in and she’s accepted all prior touch, but if I do it and she gives an amber or green light to it, I’ll normally go for the idate and then the SDL.

Verbal escalation reaction: I’m trying to do less and less verbal escalation these days but in some circumstances it’s all you can do so it pays to have it in your arsenal for these occasions. You’ll get a range of answers to questions such as ‘what kind of guys do you like’ ranging from the undecided/uninterested amber light of ‘I don’t have a type; as long as there’s chemistry’ all the way through to the green light of the girl describing an archetype very similar to the one you present. You can glean a lot about a girl’s position by her answer and so when this girl went straight into describing the type of guy she liked, I took it as a good sign that she was open to being seduced. Recently I’ve been finding more and more information in a girl’s answer (whether it’s the literal words she says or the message she conveys through it) and have been better acquainted with the phrase ‘she’s letting you know how to seduce her.’

Decision trees: I think one of the benefits of studying economics was that I make very cut and dry decisions and think about how to deal with people’s reactions algorithmically; the kind of ‘if this happens then I’ll do this, if this then this’ way of thinking. And so you can outsource bad feelings to the decision tree, in a way. It helps with coming to terms with a tactical versus strategic way of thinking. In the moment, I only know a certain set of possible reactions, and so I can assign them to different ways the girl acts; it helps me to stay cool in the moment. We all have these and they’re called heuristics: quick and dirty (or short and sweet) reactions. Strategically, when I can come up with different action plans, then I could have acted in a better way and sure, I might kick myself for not thinking of it, but I kick myself less than always thinking that everything is possible. Another example of this might be how to program your texting: you send a feeler, if she responds then you ping until the next day and then date request, if she’s not available you roll off then try again. It’s this kind of ‘if this then’ thinking and of course, over time, you build these decision trees and they become part of the initial, emotional heuristic.

Listen to her objections: you know you’re in the final stretch when a girl starts making logistical rather than character based objections. This is the time when you swap from emotional reasoning to logical reasoning. If she’s going to miss the last metro, it’s fine, you’ll get her a cab. If she’s scared that her housemates/family/boyfriend will think she smells like sex, it’s fine, she can have a shower afterwards. If she hasn’t shaved, it’s fine, you’ve got a spare razor she can use. At this point you’ll also want to swap into a completely understanding tone of voice; one providing maximum comfort (don’t sell past the ‘yes’). Something along the lines of “listen, you go and shave/shower/etc. I’ll take care of everything else and make us some more tea.”

r/K crossover: I think most of the lays that Daygamers get while on Jaunts are from those girls who are r-selected at heart but grew up in a K-selected world. They’re the kind of girls who you expect to have had a lot of sexual partners but then it turns out that you’re their second or third guy. It’s a good thing because it means you get to hit the tighter end of the spectrum but at a lower cost. The same can be said for the reverse: K-selected girls who grew up in r-selected environments. This allows you to hit the hotter end of the spectrum at a lower cost because her environment is making her r-selected strategy more socially palatable.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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