First 30-Second Set Checklist

I decided to make a checklist for you to compare to your typical street sets so you nail the first 30 seconds of each one. Make sure you’re doing each of these things because this is where you’ll make your first impression and a first impression lasts a lifetime.

The kind of impression you are aiming to make is one of:

• Being at ease in the situation
• Conveying the emotion you feel towards her in that moment which is suitable for that particular girl
• Taking your time in the knowledge that she wants to hear what you have to say

There’s a lot here but that’s because this is the most technical part of a Daygame set. If you get the first 30 seconds right then the rest of the conversation will flow. Don’t worry, though, because you can learn them all over time. Pick one, two or a few of these points and make them the sole focus on today’s session. Once you can do those very well, move onto the next few. Eventually, these will all become second-nature to you and it will be much easier to feel and convey emotions because you won’t have one eye on your technical ability.

Note that I’ve started the below after any pre-approach filtering that you might like to do (and which I encourage). Everything in Daygame is easier if you get the previous stage done right, from SMV to pre-approach filtering to the first 30 seconds to the rest of the set and onwards to texting and dating.

• Let her pass
  1. Don’t act differently as she goes past you. If you’re with a wing, don’t go quiet
• Draw yourself up into your full posture
• Walk towards her
  1. You want to be talking to her, ideally, within ten seconds
  2. Aim to stop her in a relatively open area of the street. If she’s coming towards a typical meeting point then hang back for a second to see if she greets anyone. To that end, keep on eye on where she’ll be when you catch up to her
  3. Walk towards her “with passion”
  4. Think to yourself “be bold”
  5. Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth
• As you’re walking towards her, identify if she’s a “warm” girl or a “seductive” girl
  1. If warm -> smile and think warm thoughts
     1. Warm girls typically have softer faces, wear brighter colours and appear more as “good girls” or perhaps “happy girls”
  2. If seductive -> smirk and think sexual thoughts
     1. Seductive girls typical have more angular features, wear darker colours and appear more as “bad girls” or perhaps “moody girls”
• Stopping:
  1. Set your distance: you should be about an arm’s length away from her to one of her sides (the one with more space)
  2. As you’re one pace away from her start saying “Excuse me, hey, etc.” and continue saying these stopping words until she stops
  3. As you come abreast, look into her eyes. Hold this all the way through to the end of your opener
  4. Hold your hand out with your palm outstretched and pulse your hand up and down to encourage her to stop. Ensure that your elbow is away from your body i.e. no T-Rex arms
  5. Walk slightly faster than her and keep your body language open. Do not stop her over your shoulder. This might mean taking a few steps sideways or even backwards once you’re ahead of her
  6. Arc gently in front of her i.e. don’t do a hairpin front stop unless you are shorter than average and/or very physically unimposing. Watch her facial expression and if she doesn’t seem to want to stop walking then let her go
  7. Once she stops walking take a small step towards her so you’re within an arm’s length if not already. If she steps away from you then let her set the distance she’s comfortable with
  8. Make sure that you’re standing with your fullest posture, that you’re facing her on your 12 o’clock and that your hands are somewhere visible
  9. If you can feel her eyes drawing you in like magnets then give her a very light touch on the forearm with your fingertips
     1. In a good stop, the girl should “first hear you, then see you, then feel you” (both your presence and in those magnetic occasions, your actual touch)
• Pause. Let her feel your eye contact and smile/smirk. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth
  1. At this point you will be conveying the emotion you generated within yourself with those warm or seductive thoughts. This is done mostly through the quality of your eye contact
  2. Sink into the conversation and imagine you’re slipping into a warm bath
• Say any kind of filler sentence as she orients to you such as “I just wanted to say something cheeky” or “Can I tell you something quickly.” If she has headphones in you can ask “can you hear me?”
  1. Don’t rush this sentence (or any, for that matter). If you confuse her now you’ll jar the smoothness of your approach
• Take another deep breath as she answers
• An authentic compliment: use the word that first comes to you. Speak from the heart and don’t worry if what you say could be construed as cheesy. People are excellent at telling whether something is rehearsed
• Another deep breath as she acknowledges your compliment
• A fun observation based on how she looks, what she looks like, what she’s doing, how’s she acting, whatever stands out about her the most, etc. This is where you let her know why you picked her out from the other girls you could be talking to. If any banter arises from your observation then see it through to the end
• Offer your name and shake hands. You can pretend to mishear her name and say it back to her slowly as her hand is still in yours. If she gives you a strong, businesslike handshake you can comment on that. If she gives you a light, feminine handshake you can comment on that too
  1. I recommend you exchange names at this point because it shows her you didn’t only want to give her a compliment and have a little banter. If she’s uninterested or is unavailable she will probably excuse herself at this point

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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