I’m writing this article off the back of a comment I made in the last post about how you can theoretically cast your net wider and increase the number of girls who you believe to be worth approaching. I initially titled that concept as “pre-abundance” and I want to expand on that here. Consider this post a stream of consciousness as I try and organise my thoughts.
Often times the best Game advice is simply to spin more plates; it’s one of the key mindsets. But what about the period before you have abundance or times when girls fall off the radar? For example, around June this year I had four fuck buddies who would come over every other week and one girl who I’d see roughly once a month. At that point I had abundance but didn’t feel as carefree as I thought I would; chasing new notches was still giving me the highs and the lows. What constituted my abundance felt more like insurance options, which would console me in case of near misses. Since then, only one of those girls is still around but the emotional connection has grown. On the other hand, I imagine that consistently having sex with different girls, even ones you’ve already fucked, alters your micro-expressions and physical movements such that other girls can sense this. I appreciated this benefit less than I should have.
One point in Spring was the first time I felt “abundance” in the carefree form I expected. I had five strong leads texting back and forth, meaning that each time I picked up my phone there were new messages waiting for me . My texting was much racier, because I knew I could fall back on other leads if I pushed too hard with some of them. As we know, this attitude can be felt by the girl, even over texts, and counter-intuitively leads to better results.
Tying these two points together, I got more of a carefree feeling from simply having strong leads progressing rather than actually having closed a lot of girls and keeping them around. I guess part of that is down to happiness derived from knowing that you’re getting better rather than accruing past successes and taking them with you.
So where does this idea of pre-abundance come in then? I want to define this as the state before you actually have the girls on tap, where you’re feeling a burgeoning shadow of the later carefree vibe. Not only does this stem from having strong leads, but also the pure fact of knowing that you can hit the streets and drum up more leads any day of the week.
I think that point gives more encouragement to keep statistics. If you have a rough idea of how many sets you need to do to get numbers, dates and lays, then you can afford to be carefree. You’ll think to yourself “if I work hard and do X sets this week I can rustle up another date”. If Daygame makes you an entrepreneur of the sexual marketplace, then Daygame can have the mindset of a scalable business model.
Having the above mindset is great but putting it into place is another thing. It helps to acknowledge this but it only provides the “shadow of abundance” rather than the full thing. We’re left with a choice: act cautiously right now and hope for reference experiences to give us true abundance, or act as if we already had abundance (fake it ‘til you make it). Both, I think, are valid options.
The first is out of your control, and girls will probably make you wait longer for sex, but will leave with you less dramatic mood swings. It’s like dipping your toe in the water and easing yourself in. Over time, you naturally accrue positive reference experiences thus creating the abundance mindset. For “name PUAs”, I imagine this is how they came to their current state, since the literature wasn’t in abundance (hawhawhaw) in their formative years.
The second option would be like making sweeping economic reforms, letting people feel the pain initially, but ultimately proving a good lesson/experience in the long run. Your emotional rollercoaster will be all over the place and the near-miss blues prevalent; the road will be long and tough but you can be sure of your implacable advance. This is the approach which is advocated by those in the know, but I always question whether you’ll have a different end state to those who arrived their naturally, like a country which has democracy prematurely enforced upon them.
Looking back, I can see that I chose the latter. After hearing about and considering using a one venue one drink Blitzkrieg date, I tried it and had some initial success. I had the mindset of “blow me or blow me out” as if I queues of girls going down the street. I was incredibly impatient and it was only until I recently decided to slow things down that I’ve moderated my impulses. That’s my personality though, I always want to optimise and get to the most efficient solution ASAP; time spent dithering on extra dates was anathema to me.