I’m writing this article off the back of a comment I made in the last post about how you can theoretically cast your net wider and increase the number of girls who you believe to be worth approaching. I initially titled that concept as “pre-abundance” and I want to expand on that here. Consider this post a stream of consciousness as I try and organise my thoughts.
Often times the best Game advice is simply to spin more plates; it’s one of the key mindsets. But what about the period before you have abundance or times when girls fall off the radar? For example, around June this year I had four fuck buddies who would come over every other week and one girl who I’d see roughly once a month. At that point I had abundance but didn’t feel as carefree as I thought I would; chasing new notches was still giving me the highs and the lows. What constituted my abundance felt more like insurance options, which would console me in case of near misses. Since then, only one of those girls is still around but the emotional connection has grown. On the other hand, I imagine that consistently having sex with different girls, even ones you’ve already fucked, alters your micro-expressions and physical movements such that other girls can sense this. I appreciated this benefit less than I should have.
One point in Spring was the first time I felt “abundance” in the carefree form I expected. I had five strong leads texting back and forth, meaning that each time I picked up my phone there were new messages waiting for me . My texting was much racier, because I knew I could fall back on other leads if I pushed too hard with some of them. As we know, this attitude can be felt by the girl, even over texts, and counter-intuitively leads to better results.
Tying these two points together, I got more of a carefree feeling from simply having strong leads progressing rather than actually having closed a lot of girls and keeping them around. I guess part of that is down to happiness derived from knowing that you’re getting better rather than accruing past successes and taking them with you.
So where does this idea of pre-abundance come in then? I want to define this as the state before you actually have the girls on tap, where you’re feeling a burgeoning shadow of the later carefree vibe. Not only does this stem from having strong leads, but also the pure fact of knowing that you can hit the streets and drum up more leads any day of the week.
I think that point gives more encouragement to keep statistics. If you have a rough idea of how many sets you need to do to get numbers, dates and lays, then you can afford to be carefree. You’ll think to yourself “if I work hard and do X sets this week I can rustle up another date”. If Daygame makes you an entrepreneur of the sexual marketplace, then Daygame can have the mindset of a scalable business model.
Having the above mindset is great but putting it into place is another thing. It helps to acknowledge this but it only provides the “shadow of abundance” rather than the full thing. We’re left with a choice: act cautiously right now and hope for reference experiences to give us true abundance, or act as if we already had abundance (fake it ‘til you make it). Both, I think, are valid options.
The first is out of your control, and girls will probably make you wait longer for sex, but will leave with you less dramatic mood swings. It’s like dipping your toe in the water and easing yourself in. Over time, you naturally accrue positive reference experiences thus creating the abundance mindset. For “name PUAs”, I imagine this is how they came to their current state, since the literature wasn’t in abundance (hawhawhaw) in their formative years.
The second option would be like making sweeping economic reforms, letting people feel the pain initially, but ultimately proving a good lesson/experience in the long run. Your emotional rollercoaster will be all over the place and the near-miss blues prevalent; the road will be long and tough but you can be sure of your implacable advance. This is the approach which is advocated by those in the know, but I always question whether you’ll have a different end state to those who arrived their naturally, like a country which has democracy prematurely enforced upon them.
Looking back, I can see that I chose the latter. After hearing about and considering using a one venue one drink Blitzkrieg date, I tried it and had some initial success. I had the mindset of “blow me or blow me out” as if I queues of girls going down the street. I was incredibly impatient and it was only until I recently decided to slow things down that I’ve moderated my impulses. That’s my personality though, I always want to optimise and get to the most efficient solution ASAP; time spent dithering on extra dates was anathema to me.
10 thoughts on “Pre-Abundance”
Very interesting post, dude.
Abundance. I know this year I have been closer to that “feeling” than ever before. And it has ebb’d and flowed.
I think that’s normal. We can be very good and “thrown off balance” by a bad streak and a bunch of cancelled dates, etc. Or get two girls that are both eager at the same time and feel like a King.
>> the pure fact of knowing that you can hit the streets and drum up more leads any day of the week.
This is the best thing about the daygame thing for me… any time I want, any place with a big enough population, I can create options for myself. As I say that, that feels real. I’ve already proven that for myself. Even without a full harem… that is practical abundance for me.
Although… I’m not sure that ^ always shows up in how I carry myself. Which might be what you’re after here.
If abundance is “feeling full”, daygame is knowing how to cook. Maybe that’s it.
Deida talks about how the “masculine” wants to do something “so well” that it’s “over.” That he “never has to do it again.” That sounds about right to me. I think “abundance” is a word that represents that “magic transition” when we “have women” and do have to “do it” any more.
That moment isn’t real. It’s an ideal.
Even with true mastery we can’t stop time… and time means our castles turn back into sand and we must go back to building again.
Maybe abundance… as a mind set… is knowing you’re a kick ass builder, knowing you get to work at anytime, and that you enjoy that process.
>> If Daygame makes you an entrepreneur of the sexual marketplace, then Daygame can have the mindset of a scalable business model.
^ Very well said.
Love that Deida point you mentioned. It’s true that we can only be happy in the medium term, that we always will want more, that nothing is ever fully complete, and that perfection is unobtainable. Although personally, I’ve set myself an achievable medium term target of a lay in 50 sets.Do you have this too?
>> I’ve set myself an achievable medium term target of a lay in 50 sets.Do you have this too?
Ahhhhh… sort of. : ]
My stats suck, man. Plenty of action, but terrible “approach to lay” ratio. Maybe near 1 in 100 for the year. Probably like more in 1 in 150.
And for now… that is fine with me. I just want action. I’m not afraid to work. I LIKE to approach girls. Daygame is fun.
So for now… my “target” is 1 girl per month (which I’m not hitting, but that’s about right for the year). Work = whatever it takes to hit that.
And more over… my “target” is women in my life. Right now, I have a regular I picked up in Mar… and I’m basically in love with her. So cool, and best sex I’ve had in 15 years. She is amazing… and she is very, very into me. And I got a nude sent to me from another girl last night… she is calling me “daddy,” which I love.. And a lead from Japan pinged me for no reason this AM. And I have a date request out for tonight. And I’ll be on the street in 15 mins… talking to girls.
This ^ = “girls in my life.” That is mission accomplished. I am getting laid. I am having fun. I have a means to keep this going.
It’s a good day.
Do you have an aim though? I’m on a LTA of about 1 in 80 but my aim to get that to 1 in 50. Begin with the end in mind.
The second half of that comment sounds good though (stats and approach to lay isn’t everyone’s cup of tea).
>> Do you have an aim though? I’m on a LTA of about 1 in 80 but my aim to get that to 1 in 50. Begin with the end in mind.
Yeah… sort of. Maybe I’d like to improve my conv rate… but maybe that would only mean I’m “less curious” and that I talk to fewer girls??
I’ll talk like a marketer for a sec: “Testing” is expensive. Meaning, those resources (time/effort/$$$) could have gone toward a “sure thing.” So every test has sunk costs and unpredictable ROI. But… testing is how you discover new wins.
As I think about why my stats are so low (and I’m not 100% convinced everyone else is honest!), it COULD be because I can’t read girls well enough to know who’s “sex ready.” That seems like a very real possibility, whereas you or Roy or Krauser might have better “sex radar” than I have. So, that could be part of it. Not skill (but I’ll assume I need work there too), but radar.
Or it could be that I like a type that is less likely to fuck… great comment about that from Pacific on my blog right now. Could be.
Or could be that I like a lot of types… that I’m “testing” more than other guys are, just to see.
And… could be a I suck. At least relative to guys with high conv rate.
Here are ^ several independent factors that could influence conv rate. It’s not just one thing. Conv rate is tricky like that… we can manipulate it without really making us happier. Conv rate is a dodgy stat.
So… for now… I’m not worried about conv rate at all… unless it’s ZERO. Then I’m doing something wrong. As long as I’m fucking and having fun… it could be a tighter conv rate would mean less exploration, less overall sex, fewer ref experiences, less fun, etc.
Conv rate isn’t the variable I’m trying to optimize. Total lays and fun and “good experiences” is where I have my focus.
I have to be careful what I with for… and this ^ is what I wish for. Not “better stats” per se.
But I DO recognize that I want to “get better” and that that would tighten up my stats…
> “I imagine that consistently having sex with different girls, even ones you’ve already fucked, alters your micro-expressions and physical movements such that other girls can sense this. I appreciated this benefit less than I should have.”
I fully agree, had the same experience. I always wondered where it’s written on my front that I’m well fucked and have abundancy and can be read by the girls from remote? I noticed that comparing abundunce to non-a. periods in my life, girls would react differently already before talking. I get significantly more IOIs when in that abundance mood. So these micro-expressions must be body posture and most importantly the face, something around the eyes, about the look. I would love to know it, on the other hand it’s probably something you cannot fake anyway. Go for real abundance instead, go approaching. And track your stats coldbloodedly.
I think you really make a good and new point here. This is great but even more I love your writing style. You are a real DG poet:
“ If Daygame makes you an entrepreneur of the sexual marketplace, then Daygame can have the mindset of a scalable business model.” – great!
“using a one venue one drink Blitzkrieg date”
“I had the mindset of “blow me or blow me out” – LOLLOTF!!!
More of this!
Thanks again. Must admit that the first and third lines aren’t my own but I think the second one is. I imagined it as a Blitzkrieg date because you’re the irresistible force, overwhelming her with all of your weapons in a short space of time.
Balls to the wall for as long as you can take it, with a support group of friends or family, non-pua related, to help you out of the lows. In business, you can track your numbers quickly and easily over thousands and thousands of target ads, optimizing your approach with each new marketing idea and demographic. This is really the biggest problem in daygame – the slow process of racking up numbers to accurately gauge what works and what doesn’t takes forever and can be painful/confusing at times. Every time you make a change to your game and demographic, at any part of the process, you’re going on instinct which can only make best guesses as to what does and doesn’t work, until your sample size is both large and consistent enough to rule out randomness. We can speed up through analogous marketing studies and the words of others who have put in the work and have similar personalities.
Good point, you really are solving a series of unknown coefficients, but my instinct would be to say that when you’re experimenting with a new technique, your observation has to really detailed. Not just numbers, but what is her reaction: her face, her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her posture, etc.
I’d say that’s true – I’d simplify it and say any positive response (from body language to getting her on a date) means whatever you did worked with that particular race/age/culture of girl in the environment that you delivered it. If you can normalize your delivery, then her details are most important; in fact I’m having a hard time thinking of relevant characteristics to look for, essentially targeting, which is the bedrock of efficiency that you say you want (so do I). Krauser does this in Mastery with his female archetypes, but doesn’t really go into the depth that the topic deserves, especially if you value your time.