Is “One a Month” Holding You Back?

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of intermediate Daygame status, must be in want of one new lay a month”

– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice and Daygame

It’s widely considered that the sign of an intermediate is to be turning over roughly one new girl each month. I started turning this phrase over in my head, and realised it might be holding me back.

Before challenging the idea, though, these are the positives as I see them: it encourages guys to get at least one new girl a month, it gives a time based estimate for required success, it’s simple, and it gives beginners something to work towards. I’ll reprise that last point at the end of this post.

My argument begins here: intermediate Daygamers know their long term approach to lay ratio. Most of them, myself included, are hell bent on reducing it. Disclaimer for this article: I use numbers to explain my point, I don’t actually know the global average intermediate Daygame approach to lay ratio.

So let’s imagine two guys, one with a ratio of 1:100, and another with 1:80, they were both aiming for one lay a month, and for simplicity, that there are four weeks in a month. That means that to get their monthly lay: the first guy needs to do 25 sets a week, and the second guy needs to do 20 sets a week.

That’s all fine so far, but what if the second guy matches the first’s workrate? After four months of matched workrate, the second guy will have five new lays and the first guy will have four.

How about if they both did the conceivable maximum per week without spam approaching? If they both did 50 sets a week, they would both reach 200 sets by the end of the month. For guy one, that equates to two new lays, and for guy two, that equates to 2.5 new lays. Not only that but given that success and continued action ingrains the skillset and compounds good vibe, those numbers could be higher. This will also instil an abundance mindset quicker. With at least two new lays a month, these hypothetical Daygamers might be considered advanced, but given their approach to lay ratios, they’re not quite there yet.

Looping back, the “one a month” rule needs to include corollaries for workrate. In my example, for the second guy, he can do less sets a session and focus on approaching girls he sees as higher probabilities or ones he really likes the look of, but he could easily up his workrate if he got halfway through the month and had nothing strong to show for it. That means that his learning process will differ from the first guy as well. He learns Daygame spending less time in set as a proportion of one session, or simply less time on the street. If he is spending less time on the street, that might mean he uses that spare time in the gym, reading, on a date, etc. The second guy can not only get the same results with less input than the first guy, but he can also build his SMV quicker because he has more free time; it’s a virtuous spiral.

Another obvious point to add here is starting SMV. The second guy might have passive SMV which he benefits from on bad days which the first guy doesn’t. That might lead him to benefit more from upping his workrate and compounding a good vibe, since his lows are not as low.

Overall the second guy’s progress will be faster and he will reach his natural potential quicker and there will be stylistic differences between the two Daygamers. However, both will need to break their adherence to the one a month rule in order to be considered advanced. It is worth remembering that this is my opinion and that I would not be personally satisfied if I knew that I could achieve more than “one a month”. Vis-a-vis “one a month” holds me back because by slightly upping my workrate I can beat it in the long run.

On the other hand the rule is important for anyone who has a ratio of greater than 1:200. It encourages him to improve his Daygame and dating to get that ratio down so that he can stick to the 50 sets a week maximum and get a new lay. We could even consider 1:200 as the de-facto barrier for someone to become an intermediate.  For that person, “one a month” is an excellent aim. For people beyond  that, they may want to consider different aims. That might open a can of worms with guys saying that they have been Daygaming for X number of years but can’t get better than 1:200 due to ABC problems which they cannot change and they only want to target a certain calibre of woman. In response I’d say that success is a pyramid and don’t go after 7s unless you regularly get 6s first.

As I said in the beginning, the rule is good for beginners to aim towards; it’s a nice, fat, easily memorable target, but I think that once you consider yourself an intermediate, that you should instead focus on how much work you want to put in given the amount of output you expect. How many sets could you enjoyably do each week? For me that’s 25-30. That equates to a new lay roughly every three weeks. My current aim is to hit 1:50 approaches i.e. a lay every fortnight, which means my objective right now is to improve my ability, rather than workrate.

Let me know your thoughts on this one. I’d be interested to see if this strikes a chord.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown