And now for something completely different.
One thing I’ve been forgetting to do recently is qualify in set. It’s such a key element but for a while it completely slipped my mind. So I set myself a rule, I always try to find out three pieces of information in-set, and qualify on all of them.
- Why did you move to London?
- What are you up to?
- What do you do?
Trust me to state three, absolute run of the mill questions and dress them up as if I’ve discovered gravity. Of course, they’re not being asked in the manner above unless I’m being super boring on purpose. The first question qualifies for itself, and for the second and third ones I’ll always follow up with an inquisitive “oh, how come?” I want the qualification to come across not in the tone of “impress me, good luck”, but rather that of “that’s not a choice I would have made but please explain, I’m intrigued.” In the same way that if someone rational and reasonable comes to a different conclusion to yours, you’d be interested to know how.
I think this is especially important in the light of spotting true social hook point, i.e. not the obvious signs of her crossing her legs and relaxing or her asking a question. Once she’s stopped and thought to herself “okay I’ll give this guy a shot”, then I want to make things as normal as possible, and find out the things that normal people do when they meet each other.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
Thomas Crown PUA 