I was winging with Senor Blanco yesterday and we were discussing the direction of our blogs and our aims for the current and following year. I won’t step on his toes and go over what he was thinking about – which would in some way commit him to a plan he may not yet want – so I’ll focus on myself (like usual I suppose).
One topic we brought up, which segued into this chat, was what it meant to be a player and the effect of relative expectations. We both agreed that to a regular guy someone with 100 notches would be considered a player. However,that changes when you have constant exposure to guys who get 20-30 lays a year . At that point you end up considering the big 100 figure as less of a signal then the lays per year statistic.
A lot of this, I think, comes down to the changing relative difficulty of getting laid. For a regular guy he has to luck his way into dating a girl from his social circle at a very high cost and/or enjoy those rare, magical nights of confidence where he gets a girl home from ‘de cloob’. Stringing together 100 such victories would be an arduous task. However, when you take a guy who’s learned decent escalation skills and opens enough girls, combined with a sufficient number of player years, that 100 figure becomes less of an ‘if’ and more of a ‘when’.
That kind of guy is more at risk of looking around himself and seeing other guys doing even better than himself and in doing so, he belittles his own achievements. Now think about the effect of putting this guy into a pool of guys who are at the extreme end of the player tail. Then there’s the effect of him losing sight of the average guy who tried Daygame: the hordes of failed Daygamers.
This comparison becomes quite harmful over time so it behooves us (me) to take my attention off of it and focus on other things; the other things being value building i.e. everything else.
Sidenote: ‘value building’ is one of those phrases, which while useful to someone who knows what they are, rubs me up the wrong way, like when people who aren’t from Ireland use the word ‘craic’ or when people refer to eating at a restaurant as ‘have a [name of restaurant]’. It reminds me of how a red pill friend once lampooned how everything people did became ‘[activity] Game’. So if you hit on girls at the gym it was ‘gym Game’. If you hit on girls in queues it was ‘queue Game’. Then anything that made you more likely to get laid also became Game, like playing football to become famous was ‘football Game’ or cleaning your room before a date was ‘cleaning Game’. I digress…
Now I won’t admit that I’ve had some kind of eureka moment where I’ve realised it doesn’t matter, it’s all in my head, and that I’m going to run off and join a monastery. I still think Daygame is great and I’ll continue doing it. I’ve also not converted to Christianity and am not working on populating the world with white babies. Furthermore, I’m aware that this mode of thinking was brought on by having a year where it looks like I’ll fail to reach my goals. This is largely down to one factor which I’ll describe in my end of year posts (the suspense!). If I’d been absolutely slaying it then this post would probably have never seen the light of day.
One thing that lets me have this realisation is my age; there’s always the promise of getting a little bit older and a lot better. It’s not like it’s now or never.
So there are a few things I want to get better at and experience more of to improve my SMV. I like the breakdown from Infinite of looks, charisma and status just because everyone knows what that means without having to explain.
I think that if someone is practicing r-selected Daygame then the way that status comes into it is through your age; it’s assumed that an older man has a higher status. Obviously age isn’t something I can control and, I believe, it increases at a rate of roughly one year every twelve months. I guess following through with a plan to make myself financially independent would also come under status, in the same way that Victorian gentleman led a life characterised by leisure.
Optimising looks is vital and much more important than many would like to believe (another point we discussed yesterday). I’ve already made efforts to trim off the fat I gained while bulking last year (I’m down 18 lbs since March and looking to lose another four) and am starting to settle on an aesthetic which suits my situation the best. I’ve been growing my hair out longer too.
Then we come to charisma, which has the greatest variety to expand upon. Charisma includes Game but I’ve seen a lot of that learning curve already by Daygaming consistently for three years. Now my focus is more on spreading my knowledge by reading a combination of fiction and non-fiction and visiting new countries each year. In a nutshell It’s a concentrated effort to become worldly.
Don’t take this to mean that I’m going to become a be-yourself-faggot (I particularly enjoyed this Krauser phrase) or a build-it-and-they-will-come guy. I’ll still be regularly blogging and there’ll be a lot of content to get feminists frothing at the mouth. Mostly I’ll just be setting myself different goals next year.