I’ve recently been thinking a lot more about my dating, and trying to get my ratio of dates to lays to be lower. That led me to thinking about the different ways I try to get a girl back to mine, which I’ll go through today. This is all part of me dealing with my own Big Problem – impatience – and taking the next step up in converting the interest I already get. I’d had enough of having good dates, but then pulling too hard so as to get the dopamine rush of a potential bounce back and the +1, and losing the girl.
There’s a full section you should check out in Daygame Mastery on extractions – how to act and why – which I recommend; it also contains details on taxi based extractions but I don’t do those myself as I can meet girls near my place 99% of the time. There is also a long section in Daygame Infinite on close dates which is related to this. But specifically these are the bouncebacks that I use, when and why.
The Walkabout
This is the method that Krauser goes over in Daygame Infinite, and it has worked very well for me in the past, but it’s also what got me into my own mess. I was a one-trick pony and simply walked girls back to mine. It worked for a fair few girls but I would find many weren’t ready yet. This would be the precise moment where I see the light leave their eyes and they would see me for the player I was (trying to be). Of course, there’s a double problem there – not trying to see if she’d made The Switch – but by over-using the Walkabout technique it eventually led me to realising that it was more appropriate to simply start asking girls if they would like to come back to mine (more below).
These days I would only suggest “let’s go for a walk” and then lead her back to my place if I was in dire circumstances e.g. needing to pull a lay out of the hat on a trip and I wanted her to make her decision whether to have sex while at the precipice.
There’s also an element of location here. In London, dates seem more like set pieces and so there are set locations where I’ll meet girls; either centrally or near to mine. That means I’ll either need a taxi or I’ll use one of the other types of bounce back described later on. Plus, the girl is more likely to know, or reckon that we are, meeting near to mine. However, if I was on a Jaunt, then I would be permanently central, and so it would be much more feasible just to walk past my front door.
The Generic Silly Bounce Back
This is the classic line you say where she asks where you’re going and you respond with “to Disneyland, to see Mickey Mouse” or “to a bar with a great view and where the drinks are completely free” (my own creation, I believe). I will very rarely use these lines nowadays since I’d prefer to simply say “to mine for one last drink” and don’t find that those kinds of bluffs suit my style of Game anymore. I like to be more straightforward so that the girl knows exactly where we’re going and can put the brakes on if need be (remember, I’m trying to reduce my impatience and avoid the situation of bouncing back when I shouldn’t).
The Casual Question
This came off of the back of a conversation I had with Mr White. I was asking about some of the lays he had in Prague last year which were on fourth dates (or thereabouts). I wanted to know how he offered the bounce back since it seemed that he was patiently waiting for the right time to go for it. He told me quite simply that he would ask them very casually whether they wanted to come to his apartment, and if not, he’d immediately change the subject and move on.
Now, trust a PUA blog to try and turn an offhand question into a “technique,” but his words rang true. I want to be able to offer the bounce back to a girl and show her that I’m genuinely not affected by her saying “no.” In fact, it goes all the way back to Mystery Method where he says that each time a girl says “no” and you’re not butthurt, that her attraction for you and comfort she feels around you increases.
The Delayed Bounce Back (false concession)
This is the first of two methods which I like to use the most and they involve a false concession. The way I see it, if you pointed out a girl, and said to a guy, you will definitely bang her, but, it will take X dates, then I think the vast majority of guys would be happy to take that trade off. The reason why we want to push for the first date is because of player values, our own impatience and physical pleasure. Importantly, getting the lay is uncertain: you can’t say for sure if she will come out to meet you again. However, I’m at a stage where the risk of over-escalating outweighs the risk of her not coming back out again.
That’s why I like to do a kind of “delayed” bounce back. I’ll probably offer this at the point where things are getting heated up, but she’s said “no” to coming back to my place that night. So instead, what I’ll do is make a false concession. In this case I’ll say “okay then, let’s meet [another time], we’ll grab some food, have a drink, and then see what happens. I know a good place [near mine] that we can go to.” She’ll know that the context of the date will be sexual and she’ll know that I’m going to set up the date near mine. The false concession here is that I’m pretending to forgo the first date lay so I can pour more comfort on and hit her milestones. In reality I’m more than happy to postpone the lay for a future date where it would be more certain.
The “Extra Drink” (false concession)
Lastly there’s the case where I’ll do the above, but it will be within the same date. Rather than delaying the (implied) bounce back to another day, I’ll pose this question during the Questions Game: “So, would you rather have another drink at mine, or one more drink here first?” Notice how I’ve framed the bounce back as being inevitable but I am giving her a chance to save face. Of course, if she picks the former, then it’s on like Donkey Kong, and if she says something like “I’ll let you choose” then it’s on (for sure), but I may still have another drink in the bar, quickly, so she knows I’m not racing towards the finish line.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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