I do most of my Daygame solo right now because I’m free during the day and can make it out at the best times: times at which my wings are unfortunately still at work (well, unfortunate for them). I imagine you think that I simply walk out of my door and immediately start hitting on the first slow-walking tourist that I see. In reality, it usually takes me letting two or sometimes three sevens walk past before I do my first approach.
Part of that is inherent in being out solo: as I’ve said before, being with a wing makes you feel “drunk,” in that you lose your inhibitions and feel egged on to approach. When you’re solo there’s no one there who you feel you ought to prove yourself to. A larger part of this, though, is having the “curse of knowledge” which a pre-approach filter gives you. If you can look at a certain girl and know with 99% certainty that she’ll be a “no” then what’s the point in talking to her? Well… you might get laid… But the risk:reward isn’t there, and it’s genuinely okay not to approach every 7+ girl that you see. There is no Daygame Police who will fine you for letting her walk past. The upside to knowing when to let a girl walk past is that you can drastically reduce the emotional cost of Daygame. We’re not robots: we don’t like being rejected. Plus, you save your good vibe, energy and adrenal stress for other sets.
On the other hand, you do know that in approaching this girl now, you might free yourself up for future approaches: less awkwardness, less adrenaline rush, willingness to accept less signal for equivalent hotness*, etc. Then there’s that 1% chance something happens. And as an intermediate Daygamer you’re at the point where you can bear the cost of a few No girls without it being too much and those 1% probabilities can add up to something later on.
* To clarify this point, I don’t mean dropping your acceptable quality. I mean that usually you make a signal versus hotness decision and if it’s worth it you go for it: the hotter the girl, the less signal you’ll need to make the approach decision. A certain amount of girls won’t make the cut, but are still objectively attractive, and if you throw out a few sets on these girls every now and then, those probabilities can add up and you can earn new reference experiences. To cut a long story short: sometimes it’s good to experiment with approaching off of less signal.
But then how do you identify which girls to approach in that middle category? The ones between the girls you know you’ll definitely approach and those you’ll definitely not approach. I needed a sorting system. Being able to label sets, giving them a name and a place within a structure would help me to know what I should do. I began to put prospective sets into three groups: low, medium and high, where the name relates to a combination of how likely it is I’ll do the set and how likely it is to go well.
Low (0 – 20%): sets I’d never do such as clear No girls (those rushing from A to B), girls for whom I have a strong archetype mismatch, girls on the phone, girls in groups, girls with their families, girls who are decent looking but don’t draw me in; sixes who didn’t give out an extremely strong approach signal (sometimes you just want a lay-up). The most useful part of this category is being able to mentally rule out certain girls from your approach filter. You can sleep well at night knowing you didn’t miss any opportunities.
Medium (20 – 80%): these are the aforementioned sevens. The ones who are giving out some approach signal but not a lot: perhaps she glances my way but I can’t tell if it’s a true IOI or that she’s just curious; walking slowly; showing skin; archetype/demographic match for me; signs of rebelliousness; etc. The key with these sets is that they’re giving some signal but not enough for me to know with certainty that I should approach.
High (80 – 100%*): these are the sets that I would always do: true IOIs (this is the only circumstance in which I’ll do group or shop approaches); eights (in London these are so rare you feel you ought to do them no matter what); girls showing signs of horniness; girls showing a combination of medium signals (for example, you could spot a girl and label her as a 50%, but then you notice she’s walking slowly (60%), showing skin (70%) and glances at you very quickly (80%), turning her from a medium into a high set); specific demographic matches such as height.
* Using these numbers you can play a game where you label a girl and then see how the set works out.
I’d experimented with only doing high sets and found that my approach rate dwindled to near zero. I remember reading in one of Krauser’s books that as he became better at spotting signals his approach rate while solo did the same thing. I think it’s because you start looking for more and more signal until eventually you’re only approaching sure things; first happy to approach on 80% but then needing 85, 90, 95%, etc. The problem with trying that in London is that it’s just not an IOI culture and I’m not as shiny there. Plus, just from looking at my stats, I know that my A:L is somewhere between double and triple what it is while in eastern Europe (roughly 25:1 versus 50 – 75:1); it means I have to purposefully crank the handle a bit more while in London.
And this is where the decision making comes in. I ideally want to be doing as many of the 50%+ girls that I see because they are the ones where the risk:reward is in my favour. I can use this system to encourage myself to do more approaches while still employing a filter because now I can label a girl and add identify whether it was a girl where the ratio isn’t in my favour or if it was a true weasel. It helps me to find the balance in the spectrum of “do versus don’t approach.” As soon as two or three medium sets of 50%+ walk by I know I ought to kick into gear and talk to one: in essence trying to turn Daygame guilt to my advantage. And then if I want to have a quiet day and go for a relaxing walk, then I can tell myself I’ll only approach the high sets.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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How can you tell it was real IOI? Please, can you provide some examples? Like – what you would consider as an IOI – I mean it is obvious when a girl will smile at you that it is an IOI but it will happen very rarely.
Do you consider even very short eye contact as an IOI? (like she just looked at you for 0.5 seconds – do you count this as IOI? Or she looked at you without smiling – she just looked – is this IOI for you?)
IOIs are generally a very interesting topic.
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A girl looking at you for what is longer than polite eye contact. Or double glances
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Hmmmmm ok, interesring. Thank you! I didn’t consider something like this as IOI, because it can last very short like 0.5 seconds as I have mentioned. Hard to tell if it was something you have described or just eye contact.
But maybe it is worth it to open every girl you had eye contact with? And by doing this and by seeing her reaction maybe you can do a habit of distinguishing something you have described from just eye contact (non IOI eye contact).
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Mostly training. Opening every girl you “feel” she IOId you. Many IOIs also happen in a hidden manner. In such a short timeframe, or in such a manner, that we as men dont “feel” and dont “perceive” it.
1.) If you are out with a wing, tell him to tell you, when he saw a girl IOIing you. Then open, and train your sixth sense.
2.) If you are out alone, walk against traffic, on the very right or very left side against foot-traffic. Train your eye, in A:) a distance manner (far more then you think) to see and to exercise, whether girls IOI you or not. Then go by intuition, learning by doing.
B.) in a near manner to see and to exercise, whether she tapped (glanced) you once, or douple tapped (glanced) you twice. Then go by intuition, learning by doing
3.) Whistle, sing, hum, snip finger, to provoke IOIs, lock eyes, provoke IOIs. When then a tap or double tap occurs, go in. I whistle all the time, quite loud, to provoke IOIs 🙂 The girl then knows that you know that she know. If she looks away, its a clear no, when she taps our double taps, its a very very clear yes.
The rest is training, over months, possibly years.
Best wishes
Juergen
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You get a feel for it over time. Eventually you can roughly tell between a glance out of curiousity and one of interest
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