It’s official, this will be my last year as an active Daygamer. I’ve decided to write a series of posts this year reminiscing on my time in Game and looking forward to the years ahead as a family man. I’ll still be coaching Daygame, but I won’t be approaching anymore to get laid. I’m going to try and write these posts with little editing and as a kind of stream of consciousness.
I thought the best place to start would be at the start. I had known about Game for a long time before I was able to really try it; it was like this idea lurking in the back of my mind; something I wondered if I would be good at. To be entirely honest, I didn’t really wonder, as such. I’m very lucky in that I have the mindset and ability to succeed in things I set my mind towards. I’m not saying that arrogantly; I mean it 100%. In my head, it was more of an inevitably that I would eventually succeed. I guess that was what made the idea lurk ever harder!
Another reason why I really wanted to try it was that when I found out about it I had only just started having sex. I lost my virginity at age 20 from a SNL from the university bar. A few weeks later I got another SNL and a few weeks after that I met a girlfriend of three years… also an SNL from the university bar. At that point I had a lot of bad ideas about relationships and romance and eventually got into a relationship with the latter. During that relationship I became a lot more attractive, in all senses of the word, but I was exclusive and so never got to find out what was possible.
Fast forward three years and I was a single pringle again. A single pringle ready to mingle.
I remember my first few approaches vividly. I had a professional exam upcoming but I really wanted to start Daygaming. The problem was, I knew I ought to be studying for it. I had my solution: go to a local coffee shop after work under the pretence of studying, whereas in reality I was doing it so I could try and chat up girls (I could just have easily studied in my flat). I would go to a coffee shop, look around, see a cute girl and then plonk my laptop next to her before going off to buy a coffee. I’d spend the next thirty minutes trying to muster the courage to talk to her – and what to say – and then give it a go. I guess it was the opposite of what a beginner usually does: tells himself to “go and do some shopping and do an approach if [he] sees a girl he likes.” I was moreso thinking “let’s go and do a cafe approach and fit some studying around it.”
As well as my surprisingly-high-number-close-rate-but-unsurprisingly-0%-response-rate cafe approaches I also got stuck into pick-up material. Naturally I watched Tom Torero’s Beginners Guide to Daygame video and made copious notes on it as well as all his other YouTube videos (I found Krauser a bit scary and his use of the N-word and F-word intimidated me). Funnily enough I also paid to watch a video of Neil Strauss coaching an American guy to Daygame in a food market… I did not learn much from that one.
As I was studying for the exam I tried to fit in some approaches just to test the water and learn a bit. I went out and did three approaches a day and wrote about what went well and what I could improve. It took me back to being in primary school when you had to assess yourself in each day’s classes by writing “WWW” (what went well) and “EBI” (even better if); I was good at reframes even at a young age. Even though I was falling over myself and saying things I would later look back and cringe at, there was a certain magic to that time. I had this feeling that I was onto something and there was that amazing build-up and release of the fear of AA and the act of conquering it.
Speaking of AA, of course I had it, but not in the crippling way that some guys have. I always likened it to giving a presentation: you know that eventually you’ll have to do it; it makes you feel uncomfortable but that inevitability is soothing in a way because you can’t escape it. Going out and not approaching wasn’t an option for me. Of course, it still took me time to do that first approach each time and they were usually pretty bad, but I never doubted that I could actually do it.
Anyway, I was out doing my three sets a day one day when something went off inside me. I thought, “I want to do 10 sets today.” And not just in my local area but in central London! I had been doing my three sets locally so as to save on travel time and study more but I could feel Oxford Street and the West End on the horizon; gently titillating. I think it was inspired by Tom Torero’s travel videos, funnily enough, and not his Daygame videos. I had caught something from them like a cheap hooker and now I just wanted to get out there and do a bunch of sets.
And I really did have a great first proper day! I reached my ten sets and went on an idate and kissed a girl who had been in the Miss Panama competition a few years prior. But don’t think that she was an absolute worldie… She was a seven. I ended up having another date with her and should have slept with her: I got her back to my place and pushed too hard and she was on her period. I genuinely think that with the knowledge I have now it would have been a lay. Oh well.
Then once I passed that exam I told myself I could really get stuck into Daygame and pretty much started doing 30 sets a week straight away. I was so excited for what was to come and what I could achieve.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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