12/30: Advice for Mid-Twenties Guys

On the same day that Mazz and I had the conversation about London going full r, we also tried to come up with some advice for guys in their early and mid-twenties to make them appear older than they are. As I’ve rattled on about before, your age puts you at a disadvantage for what we’re trying to achieve. We came up with three ideas:

1. Wear a shirt. Not an office shirt but a casual shirt, but not flannel either. Get a stiffer material which squares your shoulders and gives the kind of “jacket look”. No flashy colours and no patterns. Just a dark casual shirt. Leave one extra button undone than what would be considered respectable so you don’t look preppy. Roll the sleeves halfway up your forearm.

2. Only wear accessories which have a story behind them, otherwise you’ll look like (and will actually be) a poser. The story can be as simple as “I went on holiday to X and bought it at the market.” Cheap costume jewelry, bracelets, and necklaces will be seen as such. If you’re a young guy wearing big skull rings then the girl will probably think you’re just trying to emulate your favourite rockstar, not that you are actually one. I think that the skull-ring-look needs a grizzled face to go along with it.

3. Grow a beard. It will instantly make your face look darker and older. And grow a proper one too. Go beyond what the “cool guys” in your office are doing because your aim is make yourself appear wild. There’s probably also some biological response to a beard in the same manner as a peacock’s tail reflects resource command.

Of course, at the end of the day, if you act like a twat, then she’ll still think that you are immature. These are just some ways to make your outward appearance line up with your (hopefully mature) demeanour.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

 

I accidentally scheduled this post to come out on the same day as the previous one. It just means the whole thing will be done one day ahead of schedule.

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