#68: Necrophilia (Lay Report Analysis)

Warm-ups: though I’m long past the days of having to do some hit and run complements to get a session started, it pays to be 5% more sociable before beginning one. A quick “how are you today?” to the person serving your coffee or “good morning” to the bus driver will begin to blow away those unsociable cobwebs so that you have a little boost by the time you do your first set. What’s really happening is that you’re releasing some endorphins because you’re breaking a social rule, the one that states that every one in a big city keeps their eyes straight ahead and says nothing to no one. In my case I went many times further and had a quick coffee date before my session which was a kind of long, warm-up set. It might pay to schedule these filter dates before a session to take advantage of the vibe boost.

Red: there are a few, well-known signs amongst Daygamers which we take to mean that a girl is more open to the idea of being picked up. For example hip swing, eyes looking up and around, and a general sense of openness to the world. Another one of these signals is the colour red; there’s something special about the colour. It’s not a neon pink or bright green – and so hopefully isn’t just a sign of attention seeking – and has visceral connotations. This, along with lesser signs such as tight jeans, can be taken as IOIs to the world in general, and warrants an approach.

Short sets: these days 90% of my sets are around five minutes long. I trust that I’ve made enough impression in that time and so when I see a lull in the conversation I move forward to the close. There’s nothing worse, in my opinion, in pushing through that nanosecond of silence to introduce a topic when both of you know that the conversational momentum is dropping. Admittedly, this is a facet of my own Game as I’ve never put much effort into baiting the girl to invest. I won’t stop a girl from talking if I think it’s bringing us closer to the lay, but overall I want to keep sets short and maintain the initial image I created in her mind.

Leaving the set: I always close in the same way (“Listen, I need to go now but I do find you cute. How about a coffee/drink sometime. Would you like that?”) then offer my hand in a brief goodbye handshake of-sorts then I leave. Sometimes you get a great green light from the girl when she lingers on the goodbye as if she doesn’t want to let go of your hand. This is nearly always accompanied by sustained eye contact as you both turn away. Without offering that last moment of touch, I don’t get the opportunity to glean that information.

Archiving chats / Read receipts: this is where I think a lot of guys are missing out. It just doesn’t pay to have a long list of girls staring back at you who didn’t respond to your feeler. To erase them from memory as if they never happened, Stalin-style, I archive the chats and only leave my active leads in my front page. Then if I’m feeling bored or mischievous one day I’ll go through those archived chats and send resurrection pings. While we’re on the subject of phone settings, I turned off read receipts on WhatsApp a long time ago. I don’t actually want to know if a girl’s read my message because I only care about if she’s going to respond. A lot of people use a bunch of workarounds to see the message without letting the sender know it’s been received and it’s a load of hassle for a tiny amount of return. Turning off read receipts removes you from that rat race and saves you worry to boot.

Questions: (this explanation went on for so long that I turned it into a full post but the moral of this story is that if you have a strong set then you should always follow up with a ping including a question just in case the girl is retarded).

How she dresses for the date: this has been spoken about before, and I spoke about it at length in my “Anatomy of a First Venue” series of posts, but its importance is worth hitting home. Look at how she’s dressed: has she put effort into her clothes and make-up? Does she look like she’s qualifying to you in some way? Has she shown skin or made an effort to titillate? A little bit down the line you can add this to your mental calculation of whether it’s on or off.

Venue one: I look for the same things in all my first venues if I’m pursuing the two drinks then bounce strategy, which is 90% of the time. I look for the following: medium lighting, seats which are close (right angles or on a sofa or bench where we can turn to each other), the sort of place that serves beer primarily (for the image) but also coffee and tea . I always look for a kind of idiosyncratic feel to the place and often gravitate to places with faux American looks to them (reworked steel decorations, bare brick walls, red leather seat covers).

The kiss: I’m getting better at this because I used to be addicted to the rush of kissing a girl on dates; it seemed like such a victory for me having been kiss-less to mid to late teens. As pointed out in Mastery (I think) simply doing more of one thing doesn’t move you any closer to the lay; it’s just a stepping stone in the escalation which ends with sex. So it’s better to see the kiss as just another signal. You kiss her once and she’s all in: great, proceed to heat her up and look towards extraction. You kiss her once and it’s just a quick peck: you go again five to ten minutes later and it’s another peck which is telling you that she’s interested but tonight isn’t the night, or that she needs isolation to let herself go. You try again in isolation and calibrate from there. The important thing to remember is that PDA draws down on the plausible deniability and so if a girl isn’t ready for it then she’ll lower her perception of you.

How quickly she drinks: as well as seeing what she orders and how much of it (compare a tea against a double gin and tonic, for example) you can calibrate off of how quickly a girl drinks. If she’s on it then she probably wants to get laid that night. Girls will drink to give themselves plausible deniability and to try and ensure they don’t get in their own way later in the evening. I remember my first Daygame lay like it was yesterday… we were on our second date and went to a pub for a quick drink before going back to mine “for a film.” We had our first, then she insisted on buying us another two rounds before we went back.