The other day I was having some drinks with Lee Cho et al. Here are some of the topics that came up.
How Crazy Things Can Become The Norm
I remember from Krauser and Street Attraction’s talk at the end of 2017 where someone in the audience asked about what to say in-set. Nick made a good point that as a Daygamer you’ve woken up that day with the express intent to talk to girls. You’ve put on your boots and jacket and have walked around Covent Garden for an hour already. You’re fully warmed up but she’s just going shopping.
As we talked on Friday it became apparent to me just how much we’ve normalised the act of Daygame in our group. In fact, we often say that the Nightgame stories are “crazier.” I think that’s because we’re looking at it from the perspective of hitting on girls 1:1 compared to when they’re with their friends in a bar or club. Nightgame is often “crazier” in terms of the moving pieces. In reality it’s not “crazy” as much as confusing. Daygame is so much more linear and so it appears so much simpler. However, to a regular guy, what’s crazier: meeting a girl while sober in the day time or when out at “de cloob?”
Then there’s the things that happen after the Daygame set which are crazy as well. Mr White related us back to the story of him banging a 17 year old and then later on taking her out for a pizza. He told us about how everyone in the restaurant was giving him dirty looks because of the “craziness” of the situation.
Or how about for me? Is it crazy that I happened to be walking in a certain part of town at a certain time on a certain day. Did a set. And now she’s my girlfriend years later.
How Some Guys Do Ridiculous Front Stops
I did an example of what I consider to be a ridiculous front stop. It’s the kind of stop where you run ahead of her and then literally jump around and land in front of her as if you’re trying to scare her. It reminded me of how some guys see Game as this prescriptive list of things you have to do rather than a structure to work from.
A stop is a stop is a stop. Just get her to stop. Krauser said in this post that all you need is solid eye contact, a stop signal and conviction. In this post I went over how I achieve that.
If you’re going to shock the girl then your sets are going to suffer. She’ll often step backwards and give you that “what are you doing?” look. She’ll have a tonne of adrenaline and then you’ll have to contend with calming her down. She’ll probably retreat from your small steps in as well.
I believe that good Game is being normal with some spiciness thrown in. Going all the way back to Mystery: the game is played in comfort.
How You Should Sometimes Do The Exact Opposite
I think that a lot of people are under the misconception that if something doesn’t work then they simply need to do it harder. Not getting laid? Do more sets. Still not getting laid? Read more books. Still not getting laid after that? Do even more.
For those workaholic people who see Game as attritional warfare I think they should take a step back and do the complete opposite. If the workaholic method isn’t working then act as the easy going type. Go out and do one or two sets. It is very hard to do this when you’re the analytical type but it works wonders.
How Age Acts As A Filter
I’ve been Daygaming for nearly five years now and from what I’ve seen my increasing age has helped. I started when I was 23 and now I’m 28. That’s given me an advantage with some girls who are in their late teens and early twenties as they see me now as the mature “older” guy (relative to them). In this case my age is a filter for girls who want guys with a decent age gap.
Then when it comes to those girls who are in their mid-twenties they might see me more as the potential boyfriend type. I’ve absolutely no intention to be their boyfriend, but I think it plays in the back of every girl’s mind during a seduction. “He could be my boyfriend.” And it’s that fantasy which keeps them playing the game. In this case age is allowing girls who are potentially looking for boyfriends to proceed.
In both these cases I’m not trying to brag because I’m older. I think that’s a bit misleading. Some girls prefer older guys and so bragging about the age gap (especially seen in guys practicing Game in the late thirties and beyond) is essentially saying “I found a girl who likes older guys.”
There’s a social expectation for age matched dating. However as we practice Game we find that some girls like guys older than themselves and that some cultures have age gap expectation. Given the new information we have to build a new expectation and reality matches that expectation.
Here’s another analogy. I have ginger hair. There’s a societal expectation in the UK that ginger guys do worse with women. But do I brag about banging girls despite my hair? No, because I’ve seen firsthand how a lot of girls like it. It would be misleading for me to brag about it.
*****
And that’s about everything I have to say on that.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
Thomas Crown PUA 