The Stop

Recently I put out a post asking what people would like me to write about and one person said they’d like something about the stop:

That’s all well and good but there’s a lot written about the stop already. On top of that, it’s a physical movement and so you need to learn by doing. So in this post I’ll focus on what I do specifically.

Also keep in mind that this post is for beginners. It’s usually good for a beginner to get directly in front of a girl – where feasible – because it contains the highest chance of her stopping and so gives the beginner more time in-set overall where he can learn the model. Later on when the Daygamer is an intermediate he can see whether he prefers a side stop (or any other kind of stop for that matter).

First of all, here’s a nifty little diagram I made up:

  • As you get abreast of the girl, at about 1m away, say “excuse me” or something similar to get her attention. Make eye contact and then keep that all the way to the hook point. You can smirk, smile: pretty much do whatever you want, just don’t grimace, make any kind of extremely negative face or at the other end of the spectrum grin like the joker. Your facial expression will naturally change as you do more Daygame and so don’t try and micro-manage it.
  • She continues to walk but her pace slows down until she stops. As she does this you arc around in front of her and continue saying things like “excuse me, hey, yes, right, stop, okay, etc.”
  • When she stops moving you stop moving at which point you take a half step towards her to close proximity. The set begins.

So that answers the first question: “how do I know I’m doing it right?” You’re doing it right by following the above steps. Sounds prescriptive, right? Exactly. This post isn’t about intricacies: it’s for beginners.

Why 1m? This is just an estimation but should encourage you to get and stay closer. However I don’t recommend coming right up next to her and making her jump

Why maintain eye contact from coming abreast to hook point? This is a commanding and dominating thing to do (the “general vibe”) and if the girl is amenable to that kind of man – or is horny and looking for someone to take her towards sex – then she will react positively to this

Why do you continue to call for her attention? This again is commanding. I also think it appears more natural to continue the stream of words rather than there be discrete chunks of action: “excuse me!”, pauses and runs around in front, “I literally just saw…”

Why make the gesture to stop? Again it’s part of being commanding/dominant. Think of it this way as well: if you were to ask someone for something innocent like the time or directions, you’d probably hold your hand up a bit to get their attention. People respond to these gestures.

Why arc around? I personally think that the guys who run ahead of the girl and then spin around are making too much of a production out of it. In my opinion you should be getting her attention and then as you draw her attention more to you (by gesturing and using words like “excuse me, stop, etc.”) she should be slowing down i.e. it’s not your surprise “boo!” of spinning around that stops her.

Lastly there’s the question of when to front stop and when not to. The simple answer is: front stop when you have to. If a girl suddenly gets your attention but is walking past you you will have to front stop. Or maybe if you want to check a girl out more before approaching: let her pass then front stop. If a girl is stationary then obviously don’t front stop. If a girl is walking slowly then side stop but still arc your way and get in front of her so you’re literally standing in the direction she was walking. And lastly if there’s not much space, and you don’t foresee there being space within the next five seconds, then do the same thing (get her attention, eye contact, etc.) and work your way in front of her.

Open to add edits where there are questions.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

Buy my book, hire me for coaching and follow me on Twitter!

5 thoughts on “The Stop

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