Creating A Habit Of Charisma: Internalising HTWFAIF

“As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.”


Now that’s a nice cheesy start, isn’t it?

It’s a fact that habits make up who you are. The daily volatility doesn’t matter as much as the long term trend. Have a goal. Develop a system. Move towards the goal via the system.

We do this all the time. Want good dental hygiene? Brush your teeth twice a day for two minutes. Want to stay lean? Track calories and eat within your limit. Want to pick-up girls via Daygame? Be present on the streets regularly.

But what about charisma? We seem to have all these systems to achieve other goals. But not for charisma.

Charisma is a huge part of what makes us attractive to other human beings. Not just in a man-to-woman way but in all arenas of life. It has massive crossover potential. It is part of why guys always say that Game is just the gateway drug for self development.

Let’s get even cheesier and put this quote up. One that’s often attributed to Aristotle:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

So I’ve started to think about the kind of system I can introduce for charisma. I settled on reading a chapter of How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, each day. I picked that book because it’s the pinnacle of self-help books. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that people say it’s the book which helped them reach the top of their own pyramids.

What’s interesting to me is that the principles from that book are so basic, and yet few people follow them. When I first read it about seven years ago I thought to myself “what is this magical thinking?”

The examples in the book always follow the same pattern:

  • “I had a problem with a customer…”
  • “So I thought to apply one of the principles from the book…”
  • “It resolved the issue and the customer made the largest order they ever had.”

But after working in the corporate world for five years I see that few people apply these principles. They’re applied even less in the Game community! Too many guy put on a macho show. Now that’s great if they’re coming from a heavily beta background and they need an abrupt course correction. But it just reminds me of when someone is talking to you then they pause and pull the lever marked “initiate kino” because they read it in a textbook and think they should do it to everyone rather than just girls in-set.

Put simply: charisma is a skill we should all work on.

When I meet a guy who is unassuming but does very well with Game it’s his charisma which is winning the day. Working on our charisma appears to be, to me, a missed opportunity for many people.

So why a chapter a day? I notice that as I read these kinds of books I take on the lessons. The problem is that when I stop reading them the lessons fade away. I’m hoping that in making this a daily habit it will allow the lessons soak in on a more permanent basis.

So I’m making a public commitment to read a chapter a day for the next 30 days. If I miss a day I can read two the next but I’m not allowed to miss two days in a row. If I miss two in a row I have to start the 30 days all over again. I’ve set it on my to-do list and at the end of that period I’ll do a short update on Twitter to comment on the effects. I’ll also decide whether I want to extend the challenge for another 60 days. After that I’ll see if I want to extend it for another 90 days and then finally 180 days. If I get to that stage I’ll have been reading a chapter every day for a year.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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4 thoughts on “Creating A Habit Of Charisma: Internalising HTWFAIF

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