This Too Shall Pass: Why You Have to Push Through the Good Times and the Bad Times

We hear the phrase “this too shall pass” quite often and especially in times like these. But what if I told you we should be saying this in the good times too?

Recently Cypher Daygame was talking about his stats on Twitter: 25 sets, 11 numbers and 0 dates. First of all he should be commended on actually going out and approaching right now. Not only do we need to get over the tension that the virus puts into girls we also need to get over the tension it puts in ourselves. Some doubts can creep in and we might second guess whether we should be out there at all. Therefore it’s good to praise doing the thing that’s actually within our control.

The conversation went on and eventually Cypher said this:

And he’s right, the Game certainly does have asymmetric returns. Each set is like a far OTM call option on a stock which can be bought cheaply and exercised or sold if volatility increases. That means we’re frequently sorting through a series of “No’s” (in one way or another) – buying options – until we reach our set of glory. During those periods of sorting it’s important to remember “this too shall pass” because it is in the process of sorting through the “No’s” – paying the small premia – that we find the “Yeses:” receiving a large payout.

But the thing is: I can’t count the number of times I’ve done a fantastic set and then she’s either never responded or not come out for a date. Similarly there are those days where my vibe was on fire or I was feeling particularly extroverted and none of those sets ended in a lay. We can’t really tell if a girl is a “Yes” or a “No” until we lay her. And so a girl can be a “No” even if on the surface she appears to be a “Yes,” after a great set, for example.

Looking at the data, I have got:

  • 6 lays from “bad” days i.e. ones where I lacked energy or had a moody vibe
  • 7 lays from “good” days i.e. ones where I felt very extroverted, had a lot of energy and a very positive vibe
  • 38 lays from days where I felt perfectly average

The main point I’m getting at here is that good times and bad times are all just “times.” Don’t let the bad times get you down and don’t let the good times get you too excited because at the end of the day getting laid is more a function of time, putting yourself in the Daygame area and allowing the good sets to walk towards you, rather than a string of positive results.

Linking to my previous post this week on whether we should count the approach:lay ratio: let’s say your long run average A:L is 100:1. If you do 99 sets and get blown out but then the 100th approach is a straightforward SDL, your A:L is 100:1. If you have a more regular split of approaches, numbers, dates and lays, but still get one lay, your ratio is still 100:1. Both statistics describe a different experience – different “times” – but both end with the same result and it’s ambiguous as to which one provided more enjoyment.

And this is entirely possible. I find that with girls who do end up becoming “Yeses” that the progression towards the lay is reasonably straightforward. She is enthusiastic during the set. Replies promptly to my messages. We implicitly organise to have sex after one or two dates.

Given that internal change takes months, if not years to occur, we largely hit the streets with a static level of value and skill. That means that our task then is to find that subset of girls for whom we can initiate the above enthusiastic process. That doesn’t mean I’m saying to spam, though, because those little premia we pay to buy each option adds up. Eventually your account at the Bank of Vibe dwindles to zero. We just have to put ourselves out there, buy smartly, and wait.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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