Lessons From This Weekend’s Coaching #3

Here’s another edition of this series. This time the student’s name was Mark and here’s his testimonial. I thought that since it was longer I would post the whole thing here with an abridged version on the coaching and testimonials page. Under Mark’s testimonial is the advice I sent to him after the session. To hire me for coaching – infield and Skype – then click this link and send me a message.

I had coaching with Tom in July 2021. I was already at intermediate level.

The session was split across 2 days as we were worried about the weather and covid restrictions were still in place so we were relying on outdoors. This actually worked out well as it gave me a chance to reflect on part 1 later that day before coming back for part 2.

The 2 main areas that Tom helped me on was making my front stop as good as it can be and explaining the concept that the body language, vibe, tone, eye contact, touching etc is more important than the words used.

With the front stop, he explained that I need to make sure I’m at the 12 o’clock position then plant my feet and give a clear stop signal. If the girl starts moving a bit then try ” the crab walk” (rocking side to side to get in her way). If she still walks past then let her go as it’s a ‘no’ girl.

I noticed an immediate improvement with the amount of girls I was able to stop, from 80% to about 90%.

Before the coaching session with Tom I was obsessed with the exact words I was saying to the girl and put the main emphasis on that. Tom explained how that is only a small part of it and explained how good body language, touching etc can create a better set that thinking of better words to use. He explained the importance of taking a step in at the start and also when I ask the girl her name and reach for her hand. He also explained the importance of trying to hold her hand for as long as possible when introducing myself as this creates sexual tension.

My first 5 sets were straight blowouts and I was worried that part 1 session would be a disaster. Thankfully I then had a very flirty set with a busty blonde on Oxford Street who I number closed and this set the tone for the latter part of the session. I then had about 5 sets in a row that had sexual tension in them, just purely on the basis I was stood close to them and I held their hand for at least 10 seconds.

Tom also gave tips on how to make my job sound more interesting when I’m asked ‘what do you do’.

Before I had my session with Tom I was paranoid that if I ever sink into boring hair dresser questions then the set is doomed but I have learnt that as long as sexual tension is created by proximity and touching, eye contact etc then you can get off the hook with those types of dullish conversations.

I would absolutely recommend Tom for coaching.

My notes:

Definitive stopping moment: make sure that as you come around the girl that there is a definitive stopping moment where you plant your feet (I remember Krauser making this point somewhere in here). Think of it as the point in time where you put everything on the line and tell her “if you want to come past me, you’re going to have to go around me.” A good mindset to have to instil confidence in this moment is to think “what would I do if I got £1000 if she stops.” Then if you don’t entirely kill her momentum then use the crab walk (rocking side to side to get in her way) for a second to see if that stops her. Otherwise, let her go (it’s a blowout).

Note (and this was not in my original notes because Mark is a normal guy who wouldn’t try this): just because I am saying you should really try to get in her way so as to increase your chances of stopping her, you obviously should not be grabbing the girl, shouting right at her face or anything else that is way over the top to get her to stop.

Proximity and touch: you want each set to start about an arm’s length away and end within half an arm’s length. Set your distance as you go to approach her, and when she stops moving, take a small step towards her. Later on, when you offer your name and your hand, take another half step in, and try to hold her hand. Further down the line, you can do the same thing when you’re commenting on something she’s wearing (or her hair, for example). This will contribute massively to the sexual tension and man to woman vibe.

Tease after the compliment: make it an accusation e.g. “You look nice but suspiciously happy.” As you are running up to her you can think “tease” or “accuse.” I’ve heard both Krauser and Torero say before that they often simply have words coming into their heads to tell them what to do next, but in this case, it is acting as a reminder to do the thing. The opener should go preamble -> compliment -> tease, so make sure you get all the steps in, before moving onto stacking. If you have a conversation off of the tease, then that’s great as well. Let it go wherever it goes because you’re ticking down the minutes in the set.

It is very important to remember to put some “push” in to accompany the “pull” of the approach and compliment. Otherwise this is what you are telegraphing:

Approach (pull) -> Compliment (pull) -> Stack (“please talk to me;” pull)

Explaining Yourself: avoid explaining yourself and move on if it is going to take too much to do so. You should also avoid explaining why a tease is a tease (it’s the same as trying to explain why a joke is funny: it ruins it). Furthermore, don’t go too deep into any one topic, because then the vibe will drip out of the conversation and it becomes more logical and information-sharing based. Now obviously if she’s excited to talk about that thing, then let it happen, but don’t get bogged down talking about the tourist attractions where you’re from, for example.

Jobs: when she asks you what you do, make your answer relatable to her. Focus on the parts of your job which elicit themes she identifies with e.g. freedom and adventure, or perhaps for a more K-selected girl, the desire you might have to own your own business, for example. The key is to make it relatable to her; generating passive income might be something other Daygamers are interested in, but not the girls!

Style: add a couple of accessories and definitely swap the cotton shorts out for jean shorts. You want her to look at you and think “this guy is a little bit weird, or at least very extroverted, and does this all the time.” If she thinks it’s normal for you to do that, then she won’t shit test you on it, because your values and your presentation as a player isn’t under question. Remember that a shit test comes when she’s unsure of your value.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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