Remember any (T) marks where I’ve used a technique of some sort that I want to draw attention to. The analysis post will be released one week from today.
It was an oddly warm February day (T) when I met Lisa, just up from Trafalgar Square on that street which, upon turning right again, takes you to Covent Garden. I was wearing my typical attire but given the weather I could wear a crinkled, shrunken red shirt – worn open – rather than my jumper (T).
As it was still February I was in the middle of my plan to “ramp up” my sets and so had given myself the task of a couple of hours’ walk in the sunshine to get myself out there (T); all I had to do was see what came in the opposite direction. On my second set of the day I saw a flash of red come towards me walking quite purposefully. I made up my mind quickly (T) and went after her, coming abreast and then almost having to convince her to slow down and stop since it was a narrow street (T).
I teased Lisa for looking like red riding hood delivering cakes to grandma and she joined in with the roleplay (T). I’d later find out that she was actually on her way to the police station because she’d been mugged the previous day! That explained her apprehension initially and whenever I tried to close proximity to her she’d shuffle away a little (T). Without much proximity and physical touch I decided to close her with the offer of a coffee (T) which she accepted, but of course without a phone I had to add her on Facebook (T).
After two weeks and two rearranged dates later we met in Carnaby Street in the Sacred Cafe (T). I wasn’t too sure what she looked like as well; I only had one grainy Facebook picture to go by because she didn’t post much to social media. But I was pleasantly surprised by what met me: very tight blue jeans showing off her legs and hips (she’d been dancing since she was a little girl), a tight grey top which let me oggle her boobs and a leather jacket (T).
Over the course of a very large gin and tonic and a regular sized old fashioned I worked on her frame (T) (I’d become impatient because of the long delay in time between the set and the date and so framed the meet-up as for a drink; she accepted the frame which was good (T)). Her eye contact went from intermittent to very strong by the time we finished the last of our drinks (T).
My task in the Sacred Cafe was simple: work out whether we’d be having sex that evening or another night by placing her somewhere on the r/K spectrum and considering her actions so far (T). My final decision was that she was giving me a lot of smiley K energy and so would be dead easy to kiss in the second venue, but that sex would be a tough ask tonight. I was better off escalating up to the kiss and then easing off into comfort (T), which is exactly what I did.
After a couple of hours we went back to the train station and said goodbye with me telling her that I enjoyed my evening and wanted to see her again (T). She reciprocated and we agreed to meet that Friday. We thrashed out the details over text (she had a new phone by this point) and actually agreed to meet for pizza before going for a drink (T). She had initially suggested a tapas place in Covent Garden but I wanted to keep the logistics in my favour so I lost the battle to win the war: I could knock over one of her milestones (T), take her for a drink, get her heated up and then take her back to mine…
… And that’s exactly what I did! We ate pizza and had a couple of cocktails while sitting side by side in a place which has a good, dark atmosphere, before I led her to a bar near mine. The first time I kissed her that evening, in the bar, set off an overload of the same smiley K energy and over time I became more sure of myself that the lay was going to happen that evening (T).
We played the Questions Game and I gradually escalated the questions (T), but the great thing was that she was trying to come up with her own interesting questions rather than just parrot my own back to me. I guess it was a function of her being intelligent herself – she was studying a difficult subject at a top university in London – and it played into my hands because it made the escalation quicker. She set up some real soft balls for me as well: asking me about romantic things or what was the craziest thing I’d ever done. It let me DHV and throw in some r-selection (T) which I could use to drive the lay over the finishing line (T).
For one of my questions I asked her what she really found attractive in men, to which she said beards. I followed up and asked how my beard felt and so it was natural to kiss her again, then put her hand onto my dick (T). Her whole face lit up with that same smiley energy and I told her it would be embarrassing standing up now. Her reply told me everything I needed to know:
“Well, we’re nearly finished our drinks…”
“Okay, well how about this…” I replied, “how about we take our time finishing these,” I gestured to the glasses, “and then we go back to mine for one last drink and maybe watch a movie.”
She smiled and acquiesced.
There was no LMR and her face lit up with the same smile during sex. Lisa seemed to get really turned on just by kissing and would try to lock onto my mouth during sex, breathing heavily through her nose. I would pull away every now and have to check that she hadn’t made my nose bleed by pressing so hard on it with her cheek.
In the post-sex interview I learned:
- I was the sixth guy she’d had sex with
- She’d had two previous boyfriends
- She knew she’d have sex with me after the first date
- The last time she had sex was last August
We had sex again and I could tell that afterwards she was getting ready to fall asleep. I had a decision to make, and presented her with a choice:
“You can either stay here or I can get you an Uber.”
She got the hint (T), took a shower, got ready and left. I haven’t heard from her since.
6 thoughts on “#59: The Patron Saint of Sacred Cafe”
I am interested in these London dates. I learned daygame via the London Daygame Model, and this date fits the pattern.
I date mostly introverted Asian girls, and they rarely drink. I have learned to escalate without alcohol (and to find find other venues, as bouncing from bar to bar is not an option). Escalation is not really that different, but I am amazed at the consistency of 2-3 drinks in “standard seduction.” >90% of my lays are sober.
[I’ve escalated without alcohol before but alcohol helps because a) it’s greases the wheels of conversation and b) it gives the girl plausible deniability: she can tell herself she was drunk. It gives better reason to go to darker venues which encourage seduction as well. – TC]
> She got the hint (T), took a shower, got ready and left. I haven’t heard from her since.
This is maybe the most interesting part for me.
— You didn’t want her to stay?
— And you didn’t want to see her again?
— Do you think she knew it at the time?
And related: why is it you think she didn’t contact you again? I presume it is because you didn’t contact her.
— Do you think she wanted “one and done”
— Or was that just because you didn’t contact her after?
Curious as to your thoughts on her post-sex psychology.
[As per usual I tell the girl to message me when she gets home safe. In reality this is a test of compliance and I use it to gauge interest in seeing me again. I don’t want a girlfriend which is why I didn’t want her to stay over but would like to see her again for sex and so I told her “how about when your friend leaves town you come over” (she has a friend coming to stay for a week). It’s quite obvious what I’m suggesting there. She didn’t message me when she got home and didn’t respond to a ping I sent the following morning so barring any late replies, it’s one and done as you say. I think me hinting that she should leave convinced her that I wasn’t the boyfriend type (any regular guy wanting a girlfriend would have let her stay). Once her horniness lifted she reevaluated whether she wanted to see me again under this frame (essentially FBs) and rejected it, which is fair enough. – TC]
I just had a somewhat similar experience of probably not seeing the girl again (also good to see you hear Nash). Meeting the girl also took two weeks from number close to first date.
Got a second date lay with a Mormon girl (no longer practicing the faith but as far as I’m concerned still counts haha). It started with a sake fueled Japanese dinner followed by making out in a movie theater.
No lmr when i called the uber back to my place. We walked by my roommates in the living room and when we got to my bed as I was getting her undressed all she asked was “You always wear a condom right?”
Fucked for a while but I didn’t have the energy to go for a second round. I actually enjoyed the cuddling afterwards and she threw me some comfort questions. I offered for her to sleepover but she said she hadn’t brought her work clothes for the next morning. Got the sense in retrospect she might’ve been disappointed for not getting the second fuck.
I texted her shortly after calling the Uber to make sure she got home alright – she replied immediately that she had and had enjoyed herself. Perhaps I should’ve just told her to tell me – might have made my frame a bit stronger.
She flaked the day before the next planned meet.
YoungGuns. Hey man.
> when we got to my bed as I was getting her undressed all she asked was “You always wear a condom right?”
This is another thing ^ I almost never hear… the girl acknowledging sex is about to happen by asking about a condom. Almost never happens to me. They are much more likely to just try to get me inside them (that happens to me a lot) than to ask a question like that.
I have only one story like that… a Chinese girl in Japan in 2018. I think I had already gone down on her when she said, “do you have a condom.” I wasn’t expecting any LMR, but I was very surprised.
I am on my last couple of days in Japan. I’ll see you on the street next week back at home.
Ideally I’d like to avoid alcohol as well but it’s such a standard thing here in London. It definitely adds to the atmosphere though. I was out today around a market area but no real prospects. I did get an IG close while on the tube, I did a quick write up on my blog.