When To Push For A Number (Imprinting)

Sometimes girls just don’t play ball. You might have a great set, with good eye contact, proximity, good banter – good signs of her interest – but then she just won’t give you her contact details. Maybe she’s in a relationship, maybe she has a rule about giving her number out on the street, maybe she’s “too busy right now” or perhaps “isn’t looking for anything.” The list is endless. The question then is when to try and push through that objection.

When you’re a beginner the mantra is ABC: “always be closing.” You always try to push through the objection because as a beginner you’re trying to get lucky and build reference experiences. Each set is like a lottery where you need to buy a ticket and hope things go your way. Then once they happen for you the first time you can start to draw a map between where you are and where you want to go.

But once you’re more towards the intermediate or advanced side of things then ABC becomes more like SBC: “sometimes be closing.” You don’t want to walk around with a phone full of flakey numbers because it’s depressing to look at. It’s more depressing to get those one word responses back from girls. Heaven forbid those girls come out on dates – more time wasted – and worst of all, what if you even lay one?! It would sound like a triumph for the ABC crowd but in reality you’re going to be encouraged to pursue future dead leads. The net impact is a massive time sink. I believe Krauser made this point in Daygame Infinite when talking about how to spot and accept “no” and I wholeheartedly agree.

So, you have to make a decision whether you’re going to push through the objection or not: “come on, let’s exchange numbers… you never know what might happen… you’re in a relationship now but you might be single in the future… I’ll send you a message, don’t respond if you don’t want to, I’m a big boy…” The list of ways to verbally bamboozle her goes on – and you can reduce your ask from her number to social media, which usually does the trick – but why do it? I can identify three reasons:

  • As previously discussed, you’re a beginner and want to create reference experiences
  • It’s your first set of the day; for some reason if I get a number on my first set, even if it’s a flakey one, it puts me in a good mood for the rest of my sets
  • She was extremely giggly, seemed naughty, bantered a lot, proximity, great eye contact, etc. Signs of high interest but low availability

In all three of these cases I’ll send my feeler like normal and see how it proceeds, but for (1) and (2) I won’t expect much and am much more willing to let the lead die. She would have to surprise me with higher interest over texting for me to be enthusiastic about proceeding. But when it comes to (3), now we’re talking, and this is what I’d really like to talk about today: imprinting.

There’s something special about a high impact Daygame set which leaves its mark on a girls brain. I think it’s primarily because you and the girl are both sober and it’s during the daytime. That means she’s not expecting to be hit on and then bam! there you are. You’re not just another thirsty club chode, you’re the sort of guy who “just talks to girls.” It’s a more authentic test of a player, I guess. This leaves some sort of imprint on their mind, which they return to later on, when they are horny and/or single. This is even for girls who didn’t respond to your feeler.

Here are some examples of lays where I believe this sort of thing happened:

  • Girls who were taken at the time (example one and example two), but who then re-engaged once they were single. These are two occasions where I spotted high interest and pushed for contact details even though she had low availability

If you want an analogy, let’s return to one I made previously in saying that your local Daygame area is like a field which you have to tend to (and not spam and burn). Well, in this case, it’s as if you are throwing out random seeds knowing that eventually one will sprout.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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