A few weeks ago I wrote a post about guys not moving the seduction forward. After talking to a few Daygamers recently I thought I should definitely write a follow-up, this time specifically about texting. If you want full A-Z guides to texting then read the epicly long section in Daygame Infinite and Mr V’s guide to texting.
As well as not moving the seduction forward, I noticed that they were having a bit of an identity issue. Some guys appear to have hang-ups about appearing too eager, and so had swung the other way, playing the aloof “busy” man. I hope he doesn’t mind me bringing this up but one guy sent his feeler and the girl replied near instantaneously, but then he waited more than an hour to send his response. He said he did that to appear busy. Another example, from another guy, and I also hope he doesn’t mind me mentioning it, was getting positive responses and then ending the conversational thread there, before picking it back up more than a day later! Lastly, I’ve seen text exchanges where the girl is gushing for a date request, but then the guy keeps on pingalinging away….
The thing that these guys are missing is that if she’s interested in you, then don’t rock the boat. If she is attracted to you and you to her then you should be moving at a reasonable pace towards the date request: don’t sell past “yes.” You’ve got to think about what the girl will think/feel when you respond slowly. Here’s a clue: just because you waited for ages to reply, doesn’t mean she’ll be sitting there, dripping wet, thinking about how sexy you are because you’re so “high value.” Everyone knows that everyone is on their phones all the time these days. So rather than trying to respond slowly, just respond “not quickly.”
I think the problem here is a two-fer: there’s the problem with trying to appear too busy, too “high value,” and then there’s also the problem of sliding back to the level where they came from. It can be tempting to stay in that comfortable, mediocre space where a girl keeps on messaging you, but one day you’re going to have to risk getting rejected.
I’m going to be lazy here and paste in my advice from the previous post. This is the pace I go for with my texting and I should highlight that this is given living in London (and so is much more similar to Daygame Mastery than Infinite). In Daygame Infinite Krauser recommends pinging for the girl’s logistics and taking a more measured approach, but I find that since I have a 9-5, and that London is a more distracting place for girls than eastern Europe, that I need to get them out ASAP. I try to create as large an impact as I can during a five minute set, and then ride the wave of enthusiasm to the first date. I find it vanishingly rare that I’d meet a girl and then be able to get her out for a date more than a week later. Not that I have a wholly different approach to Krauser’s, I just prioritise getting the girl’s attention and sending a date request as soon as reasonably possible.
That’s it for the set, now for the texting. My general rule is that I send my date requests once I get investment from her, whether that’s because she sends me a message with high interest (long messages, fast responses, emoticons, exclamations, questions, etc.) or if she is still messaging me the next day. In the latter case, I assume that since the bubble has burst and she’s still messaging that she wants to meet, even though her interest has seemed “medium” so far.
Here are two example timelines. One:
Me: feeler
Her: high interest response
Me: ping to check the high interest wasn’t a fluke
Her: high interest response
Me: date request
And number two:
Me: feeler
Her: medium/regular response
Me [next day]: ping
Her: medium/regular response
Me: building into date request
Her: medium/regular response
Me: date request
And from there I’ll just ping her on alternate days until the date.
Hopefully that will help guys get over the hump and stop pussyfooting.
Yours unfaithfully,
Thomas Crown
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