22/30: #46: Great Power/Great Responsibility

Last night I went with my friends to a local restaurant turned club and pulled a girl back to mine. There’s not much to say here apart from that I met her in the smoking area, escalated like it was a date, made nice with her friend, then walked her home. You can see my house from the bar itself so it was easy to bounce her.

I woke up this morning feeling dirty as hell, so as you might have guessed, she wasn’t very good. Not good at all. She had gargantuan tits though, 38 H I think she said, and I came all over them. Remembering last night fills me with a mixture of childish glee and disgust. Another upside is that I got my recently single (blue pill) friend laid with her much hotter friend.

This morning I ruminated on the events of the night before, or earlier that morning I should say, and remembered one of the themes from Krauser’s Deplorable Cad: the battle over quality. That once you learn Game you have to make a decision between pursuing girls who equal your potential SMV or hoovering up the easy wins. I spoke to V on the phone this morning and told him that I felt as if I had “used my powers for evil”. I’d taken the easy route and had gone for the tap-in.

Now, a lay is a lay, don’t get me wrong, but there is a cost to banging street urchins on regs. On a chemical level, I think that your serotonin drops when you fuck a girl who’s beneath you on the totem pole; that’s why you feel dirty inside. I think that there’s a feeling of shame as well which ties in with this serotonin drop. I could of and should of pursued other girls because I could have got a relatively easy lay with a better girl.

Then there is the hypothetical to consider: what if I had gone home empty handed. It would have been disastrous if I couldn’t seal the deal with the girl I did bang. If I’d not gone after her and just failed with other girls, I’d probably be chiding myself for not just accepting the tap-in and going home with someone. I think I need to make some rules of thumb where I’ll systematically lower my standards as each hour passes. That way I can outsource all responsibility for shame to the rules.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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