It’s Better To Do Something Badly Than Not At All

It’s better to do something badly than not at all… within reason.

Whenever I meet new Daygamers I don’t give out my contact details, instead I tell them that if they see me in the street – and I’m not in set – that they should come up and say hello and we can catch up. How many people actually do this? Very few.

Daygame has a massive dropout rate which explains the vast majority of that. I think part of that dropout rate is that guys mistakenly think that their sets need to be perfect. Their teases need to be just on the cusp of sexual. They think that every set should be giggly, fizzy and smouldering too. That leads to over-analysis and an unwillingness to approach, which leads to less learning.

This carries on beyond the beginner stage where people (myself included) look for too much signal before they approach. We’re tired of being run over by buses.

Something we all need to remind ourselves of is that (within reason) it’s better to do something badly than not at all. For a beginner that means going to do a bad set, or even a hit and run, so that they can reduce their AA. For someone intermediate and advanced it might mean framing their session as ‘going for a walk and seeing what walks past them.’

This carries over into lots of other areas:

  • Putting off a project at work: it’s better to get a shitty first draft ready and then re-drafting than trying to get it perfect the first time
  • Writing a book/blog post
  • Going to the gym (where within reason here relates to physical safety)

That list is, of course, not exhaustive but it gets across the point. ‘In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice, in practice there is;’ you can’t properly learn without doing.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

2 thoughts on “It’s Better To Do Something Badly Than Not At All

  1. On the one hand I agree, one the other hand I think it depends on the type of daygamer you are.
    Are you the sniper-type daygamer and highly selective with your targets. Then you will most likely speed up your learning by approaching more.
    If you are the shotgun-type and already approach a lot, then you probably already make the mistake of substituting learning and improving with sheer volume.
    If have encountered these spam-approachers multiple times on the street and they proudly tell me stuff like: “I just did twenty approaches”. Then I ask them: “How many numbers did you get?” And more often than not the answer is: “Zero, all blowouts. But it’s good, now Im warmed up.” And while I am truly baffled, that the guy did twenty approaches and didn’t even get one flaky number, so clearly he must be doing something wrong, he’s super happy with himself and all hyped up. So this guy would actually profit from doing less approaches.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Which is why you added the caveat “within reason”, of course.

      [I lolled at “now I’m warmed up.” The caveat is important, yes, but I’m not trying to encourage everyone simply approach more. It’s wide ranging and deliberately vague (an aphorism); the point being that if you want to achieve X then you’ll probably need to take some sort of action. TC]

      Like

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