#70: Resurrection (Lay Report and Analysis)

This is the last Daygame lay report from 2019. I had a backlog at the time and so by the time I got to writing this one it was months after the fact. I made a promise to get this posted today, though, so here it is. I’ve included the tools (analysis) at the end of the post so this is all done and dusted.

*****

It was one of the hottest days of 2019 when I met Natalia: a tall, half Uzbeki, half English girl with shoulder length blondish hair. She looked ethnically Russian, though, and didn’t have any kind of that middle Asia width to her face.

I don’t do well in the heat and so my Daygame had mostly consisted of thirty minute intervals broken up by iced coffees and waiting for the sweating to stop. I feel like I’ve learned my lesson now but at the time I would have felt guilty if I hadn’t gone out on such a hot day. (T)

I turned off of Carnaby Street and onto Argyle Street and that’s when Natalia came racing past me, giving me an IOI – I think – before storming off. She appeared to be swinging her hips quite vigorously, too, which I took as all the reason I needed to approach.

I can’t remember much about the set but here goes:

“Excuse me,” I said, bringing her to an abrupt stop. I paused partly for effect, partly to catch my breath and partly to alter my position so I was in the shade. “You’re walking so fast and it reminds me of Looney Tunes. Like where the characters legs spin on the spot and there’s a big dust cloud but they don’t go anywhere.” (T)

I also remember that once she stopped she, quite immediately, turned one foot outwards which opened her hips towards me. (T)

The conversation itself stopped and started and she seemed quite erratic: something I’d later find out was part of her personality. She abruptly called an end to the set by saying she had to go.

“Let’s grab a drink sometime.”

“Well, I’m kind of seeing someone right now, and I want it to go somewhere.”

“Okay well let’s exchange numbers anyway. You never know what will happen. Let’s call it a black swan event.”

I wouldn’t have tried to push through her objections if she hadn’t of given me the IOI and if she hadn’t opened her hips.

I sent my feeler later that day and I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t reply. About a week later I sent her a photo ping of a black swan and asked if she was married yet. This time there was a reply but she said she was still happily in her relationship.

About a month later I was going through my dead leads: girls who had replied to my feeler but who I hadn’t fucked, and were sending them resurrection pings (T). I tried to keep it fun for myself by not using any words and purely using emoticons. I sent Natalia [bride][church] and I didn’t get a response… that was until two weeks later when I woke up to a response from her – at 6am of all times: [sighing face][rain clouds][heart break]. It was a gift from the Daygame Gods. I quickly checked that her reply wasn’t just her pissing about and then set up a drink later that week (T).

We met at the train station – I actually walked right past her at first because I didn’t recognise her because it had been months since the set – and we went to a pub for our first drink. She immediately gave me a solid sign of ordering a double gin and tonic (roughly speaking a double is a green light, a single is amber and no alcohol is red) and we got to telling each other the stories of our lives. Details aside, she was a bit of a wild child, having sent herself to boarding school in England from Uzbekistan, was bisexual, and had previously shaved all her hair off (luckily it was now back to shoulder length).

While talking to Natlia I noticed her erratic movements; sometimes waving her arms around like an Italian before holding them behind her back to stop them from doing so. Sometimes she’d flick her hair and then look deep into my eyes in a very intense, sexual way before looking away and shifting down from me on the bench we shared. (T)

We finished that drink and then moved onto a bar closer to my place (of course) and took a couple of isolated seats. We talked a little bit more but I could sense a subtle uptick in Natalia’s mood; she seemed to be anticipating something and I imagine us shifting to a darker and more isolated environment had spiked that. (T)

About five minutes in I’d got into a position to kiss her and she absolutely launched herself at me; turning her entire body towards me and putting both hands on my face.

It was dead simple from there. She started drinking her drink very quickly. I knocked back the whiskey I’d ordered. I said “let’s go.” She eagerly followed me back to mine.

+1.

In the PSI I found out:

• She was 22 (not salacious information but I tend to wait until after the lay to ask)
• She’d stripped her way through her third year of uni
• She’d knew I wanted to fuck her the whole time

*****

Extreme temperatures: there’s a kind of pride in hitting the streets regardless of the conditions and that’s a good mentality to have when you’re reducing AA or trying to get yourself back into the Game. But there’s a certain point where you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, anymore, and so it’s fine to just sit it out. Now, that might seem obvious when it’s extremely cold, it’s raining, it’s snowing, etc, but it holds for hot days too. There’s a kind of fool’s gold to it: you reason that the heat will bring out all the girls in their nice dresses presenting ample opportunity to Daygame. It will but don’t forget what the impact of the heat will be on you. Ask yourself: do you deal with heat well? How does heat affect your energy? How often will you need to be taking breaks? I’ve been out in some obscene temperatures before and, for me, it’s not worth it, which is ironic given that this is a lay report. The thing is, this is one lay from many days of Daygame in the heat. This is more of the exception that proves the rule. From now on if it’s quite hot (for me that counts as over 25 degrees) then I’ll sit the day out and wait for the evening.

Direct opening: you don’t need to work a direct compliment into your opener if you’ve got past the beginner stage; your vibe, style, dominance, etc, will let the girl know that you’re not trying to sell something; for a long time I’ve worked from the basis that a girl always knows why a man approaches her on the street. I might sometimes use a word like “cute” to soften a tease but I try my best to avoid the formulaic openers of: “I saw you… you look nice… what I noticed…” If I do that it’s probably to buy myself some more time before I think of a clever tease. Even if I can’t come up with one then it at least arrests her momentum and begins to get her comfortable with my presence.

Body positioning: there’s a tonne of worth in observing how a girl positions herself towards you. When you’re sitting on a date does she turn towards you as much as she can? On the street does she open her legs so her hips are wide towards you? Or does her body language seem guarded? Has she taken the socially correct female posture which implies she still has her composure? (i.e. she’s not reacting or thinking viscerally)

Resurrection pings: I steadfastly avoid chasing dead leads because I believe it’s a road to wasted effort and forlorn hope. Usually if a girl never responds to my feeler I’ll never message her again. If she responds to the feeler, however, but then nothing comes of it, then a little while in the future I’ll send a quick ping to see if her situation has changed. In this case I must have sent around 10 pings, all purely using emoticons to entertain myself. That’s the key, though: to entertain myself. I don’t religiously send pings to every girl who fell off the map because it’s such a low probability event that they’ll come out. I don’t want to religiously send resurrection pings because I want an accurate picture of my leads: if they drop off the map then I want to accurately see the probability of converting those leads as being practically zero.

Green lights: Natalia getting back to me was an enormous green light. She knew exactly what meeting up with me would mean and so I acted accordingly on the date: assuming the sale had already been made. I could have overthought the situation and taken her erratic behaviour at face value but thankfully I didn’t.

Erratic behaviour: you’ll sometimes get those mesmeric dates where the girl is being sucked into your frame. Sometimes you’ll get girls who act very erratically but with intervals of interest. In the latter case it’s likely to be her preparing herself mentally for sex and hoping that you escalate on her. It’s important to pick out the signal (her IOIs) from the noise (her erraticness) and go for it. Even if she then rejects your escalation it’s still probably worth offering the bounce back to yours because her erraticness might be ASD.

Her reaction to the environment: as well as monitoring her body language there’s also a lot of worth in monitoring her reaction to the environment. Remember that there are three types of escalation: physical, verbal and isolation, and that girls absolutely know what you’re doing when you sit them down on that secluded sofa. When you (figuratively) turn the screw and move to a darker and more isolated environment does she suddenly become a little more animated? Do her eyes widen a little bit more? Or does she appear more guarded? If a girl isn’t ready for that kind of escalation yet then she’ll withdraw and conversation will become more stilted. Her reactions to your escalation will err towards amber. For example, taking her hand will lead to her hand being stiffer and given less readily. That might easily be the signal to ease off and go for the lay on the next date.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown