Why You Should Learn Her Language (Guest Post by Juergen)

Massive thanks to Juergen for writing this guest post!

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How quickly you can get good at speaking a language is mainly dependent on how motivated you are to learn it. There exists this general belief amongst Daygamers, that speaking a girl’s language does not provide any advantages over those who do not; for example, Serbian in Serbia. Then, much more, there exists the rumour that speaking the language is actually actively bad for you results because you can’t ever be “fluent in a language” and “you are pedestalizing the girl by speaking worse than she speaks her maternal language, thus DLVing.”

I myself have learned four new languages to proficiency level (C1, yes, C1) since starting my Daygame journey in 2018, and I can tell the complete opposite of what is described above. It’s actually very good to speak the target language (in my case French, Russian, Indonesian, Portuguese) as it provides huge benefits over other Daygamers.

Looking at the r-K spectrum as described by Krauser, it does not have a huge influence on r-girls looking for an adventure, which is fine. But there are still clear and feelable benefits, if only that if you, as a foreigner, speak her language you stick out from the rest. The problem with r-girls mostly is that they are not the absolute top tier (what we daygamers are looking for) meaning 7s or below. Then, there are high tier girls, 8 and above, which are in most cases K-selected girls. From these girls I gathered the experience that your game benefits when speaking their maternal language.

K-selected by definition means protecting SMV and acting in a very identity protecting manner; she will only reveal her true feminine and sexual nature to very few men from the boyfriend field. Maybe your game improves while reaching proficiency level and thus in the first moment it is not quite distinguishable for you; you can’t tell whether improving results come from language knowledge or improved game. But in the long run the benefits of learning her language were confirmed in-set: my results in those specific target countries skyrocketed. Perhaps 8-15% better results both qualitative and quantitative wise, which is a huge difference!

My personal experience is that once speaking the language fluently and daygaming K-selected girls, they tend to become more r-selected while dating. This is mostly based on plausible deniability. She can handle the forebrain-hindbrain conflict by telling herself that you are possible boyfriend material and thus opening up her r-stretch a bit, which then results in her acting more r-selected. She can always calm herself down by thinking that you might be possible boyfriend material. Krauser and Rollo fantastically explain, you as a man never can be both, the alpha and the provider at the same time. Nevertheless, the girl inherently and biologically searches for it. Girls’ desire for it comes from searching for high value genetics with a partner on the side, feeding and protecting her and upspring in the long run. And that is exactly where the language kicks in: you show her possible boyfriend traits by being able to adapt to her culture and belief-system, her in turn giving the option of plausible deniability. This in turn then accelerates the possible lay due to amplifying her r-stretch based on this plausible deniability.

Language is particularly an issue in the FSU and South American region because you as a foreigner speaking Russian, Portuguese or Spanish completely stand out from the crowd. Especially in Ukraine (pre-war), Belarus and Moldova I can tell from experience that you completely stand out when speaking Russian. This skyrocketed my results in the high-tier sector. It’s as simple as it is, because of idiosyncrasy, religion, and the belief system. Again, you provide her with an explanation that you are possible boyfriend material. Outside the capital, such as Kiev and Chisinau, no girl speaks English, and that provides even more benefits when daygaming.

I’ve daygamed for a fairly long time now and can say, with my hand on my heart, that daygaming, for example, in Portuguese, when being in Brazil, highly impacted my results in terms of getting prettier girls. Typically, those girls simply rushed away when I was not able to engage in their language; And no, the reason was not technical nature. The harsh reality is that now I get girls at least 0.5 points hotter in comparison to before, simply by speaking Portuguese.

Then there are the kind of guys who say that speaking a foreign language distracts you from “simply focus on the sub-coms, Bro”. The claim is that not speaking the language makes you communicate more through body language. Further, being more aware of the body language, as “Bro, 90% is done through sub coms”. I disagree with this. Firstly, by speaking her language, you can then actually focus on her subcomms. and adjust your sets accordingly. You are no longer stuck translating via Google Translate or worried about speaking extremely slowly in English to make yourself understood. The statement of “focus on subcomms” comes mostly from laziness, not being willing to jump over the huge hurdle to proficiently learn a new language. Second, by speaking her language, your cultural awareness hugely increases, which trains your sixth sense to calibrate and adapt while in-set. All your energy can then be focused on calibration.

And then, there is the general consensus among daygamers that when she speaks only a little English, or broken English, that we men tend to think about the girl being approached: “Oh, that’s fine, it’s actually cute when you, cute girl, make errors.” Now, the question is, why shall this not be the same when you as a man approach a woman and speak her language? Why shall she not feel this way, thinking you are worth it, or handsome particularly because you try to speak her language? Most daygamers argue that we must be alpha, and we must be leaders: “Real alpha behaviour is showing no errors, no weaknesses”, whatsoever. Ask the OGs of daygame such as TT and NK, and they will tell you that the girl clearly catches your “alpha-ness”through your behaviour and calibration, and not through any mistakes which you make when speaking a language. And true calibration is achieved when you can completely focus on it and aren’t worried about making yourself understood.

But, anyhow, it’s vital not to speak only to B1 level the language you are learning. True proficiency is C1. You have to actually work hard to get to this level, but this is where the true (delicious) fruits are hidden.

Women find men attractive, when they are empathic and take initiative, because those same men know what she desires, as he provides the necessary cultural background and calibration through language learning. And that you as a man can act according to those desires.

I found that speaking a language generates a huge ‘get-out-of-jail-free card,’ like in monopoly. When you mention during the set: “look, sometimes I might speak wrong, and I maybe will read your emotions wrong, as Russian is not my maternal language. Maybe, sometimes, my reaction might be strange, as I don’t fully understand you in your language, but I don’t mean it personally.” This generates a huge jail- free card, and any strange behaviour you might show during your set, because of deficient ‘Russian’ or not because of it, will be ironed out because of speaking her language. This simple fact got me several extra lays with young birds, which I would have gotten, when not speaking the language.

It’s not true that women aged 17-21 speak better English. They’ve only just finished school, after all, and statistically people gain fluency over time, during their working years. So, yes, their English might be good, but they aren’t 17-21 anymore! So if you go through with learning a language you will absolutely be able to communicate with 17-21 year olds at a much higher level. Young girls especially feel much more comfortable speaking in their own language then speaking English. And so there comes the argument that “girls love to practise their English. English is much better, mate”. You are not talking to the girl to make her practise her English, but to be there to seduce her. The DHV delivered by speaking her language is much higher then the DHV which comes along with English speaking men. I’ll sound like a broken record but yes, true DHV comes from being able to adjust the set according to her emotions and wants. And this can only be done when fully focusing on her subcomms and not being worried about translation and language barriers.

The problem of proficiently speaking a language is that it’s time consuming. Most ministries of culture and language state that a category three language (difficult language), for example Russian and Thai, takes about three years to be spoken fluently. That’s bullshit. I myself learned Russian and another category 3 language to proficiency in less then 10 months. This post is not about how to achieve that. But the answer is: get a very good coach, be consistent, connect with your coach every day for at least one hour. No pauses, no excuses. Ask, for example, medical students or law students from Oxford and Cambridge about how to effectively learn words. Ask computing and science students from, for example ETH Zurich, how to effectively learn sourcing and how to quickly recognize relationships/patterns, as necessary for grammar learning. Stick to the study plan your teacher gives you. Don’t come up with the idea you know better on how to learn languages then your teacher does. Your teacher is the professional, not you – therefore, trust your teacher.

The don’ts? Don’t use language apps (Babble, Rosetta stone…); never, ever, ever miss a class; don’t hire a coach who studied philosophy or linguistics, but who studied “the teaching of the Indonesian language to foreigners to achieve proficiency”; don’t find excuses; and so on….

Best wishes

Juergen