To Normalise or Not?

When a lot of people are starting their Daygame journey they try to normalise the act. It helps them to say “I’m just popping to the shops for milk” or “I need to go into town to get a new pair of jeans” and then they wangle in a set or two on their way. Over time they ease themselves into the hot bath that is Daygame. To begin with, the act of approaching women on the street is so bizarre that it has to be a side-effect of their normal life

That’s not the way I did it.

The truth is that Daygame will never be normal, it will always be something that others consider strange, even though you yourself come to terms with it. Your identity will change, you’ll see results and be driven by them, and you’ll care less about what others think because every good Daygamer is massively self-interested. You’ll surround yourself with like-minded individuals and talk incessantly on the subject. You’ll go home and pore over PDFs and textbooks. But Daygame will never be normal.

When I was starting out, I set myself a “three approaches a day” challenge for two weeks. Why three? It’s the perfect number. Get the whole thing done in under 30 minutes, but string together enough data points to see where you’re slipping up. Considering that you’re just starting out it’s an excellent way to work out how to string together the set pieces leading up to a textbook number close.

Each day I would go out, do my three sets, then take shelter in my favourite coffee shop, order a double espresso, and analyse what happened.

I’d go properly old school on it, writing down WWW (what went well) and EBI (even better if). I’d congratulate myself on what I did well, filing that in my brain under “keep on doing that”, and summarise the negatives into an applicable lesson to carry on to the next day. For example it might be: “start eye contact as soon as possible”. Having that point to improve on motivated me to go out the next day so that when I analysed my performance, it would appear under the other column.

What you can see is that I was clearly not trying to normalise the act. I was committing myself to a plan to go and approach, calling a spade a spade; not only that but I was taking active steps to improve future approaching, giving me more opportunities to go out Daygaming… on purpose. Saying that I was “just going to the shops” would be lying to myself, like a kind of inner Game weaseling.

The thing is that eventually you’re going to have to make that jump from “trying to normalise Daygame” to “going out to do my 10 sets”, so do it sooner rather than later. That might sound harsh, but I look around and the advice I see for beginners is too wishy-washy. It’s too nice. I’m talking to the people who need to have the shit beaten out of them.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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