Recently Midwest Daygame released his Indoor Daygame guide. You can find it here.
Today’s post was going to be a review of the guide, but in reality, that review would be very short. His e-book has many useful tips and I recommend it. It begins with a discussion of the most important concepts for Daygaming indoors and at college campuses – IODs and the spotlight effect – before going into each venue: how and when to approach, what to say and do and any special considerations for each venue. It seems a no-brainer to me that you download it and spend an hour or two reading it, as I did yesterday. On top of that, it’s completely free, so why not?
The bulk of this post is going to be me “reacting” – as I believe the kids call it these days – to certain quotes I’ve pulled out from his e-book.
IOIs are very popular in the pickup community and get talked about a lot, while IODs are rarely mentioned, if ever.
This is a very good point. I remember that in Torero and Krauser’s Beginner Daygame PDF they advised you to eject from a set if the girl gave you an IOD so that you don’t build up negative reference experiences. This is in opposition to another school of thought which promotes plowing and “always be closing.” I fall on the former side of the aisle. Noticing IODs has, in some cases, fallen by the wayside and contributes to a lot of guy’s bad experiences with Game, such as, for example, when I hear about guys being ejected from malls in the US. These people rarely take the first step that is to build some social calibration.
If you are a beginner it is even more important to be calibrated during your approach, as you will also likely be very nervous, and being able to “read” the girl’s reaction will ensure you can game in the same locations week after week without having to worry about girls complaining to the staff that you talked to them.
This was one of my concerns/questions about extensive indoor Daygame. In London, I would only really go into a shop if I really wanted to open a particular girl who ducked in there. And so consistently walking around the same supermarket sounds like it would drive me crazy due to the size of the place. This is a question I have placed at the end: what size are these grocery stores? Even in the largest supermarket to me I don’t think I’d want to walk up and down those isles for long.
[I]f her eyes and body language start moving away from you, that is a good sign you should wish her a good day and move on.
I completely agree with this, and it reminds me of something odd that beginners do: they prefer to approach seated/standing sets. I much prefer (and always have) to do my sets in the street where the girl can leave much easier or just blow you out. Similarly I’ve found, and like, in a way, that with the current situation with COVID that girls who won’t shake your hand automatically filter themselves out. To cut a long story short, it’s good to have a way to let the girl leave the set easily. But during indoor Daygame, as Midwest describes, the onus is on you to spot and act on her IODs.
I have talked to a few daygamers who told me their spotlight effect feeling is stronger when indoors, and that makes sense – after all, we are all much more aware of our surroundings when we are in a confined space.
I think it’s important to note that girls feel the spotlight effect as well. There seems to be some optimal amount of activity around a girl during a set. Do it on a deserted street and it feels creepy. Do it on a crowded street and she knows people are watching/listening, albeit briefly. For me, while indoors, I think it’s the sound level which makes a difference. While outside you can at least think that the hustle and bustle of the street drowns out what you’re saying for interested eavesdroppers. When indoors, you know it’s much easier for others to listen in and for a longer duration, as they pick out their shopping.
As you get to your approach venue, walk around and keep eye contact with the first 100 people you walk by.
This is a very good tip for guys who are starting Daygame or who are getting back into it after some time off. It takes a while to get to that feeling of “owning the street,” where you can make sustained eye contact with everyone. In fact, it’s vital that you reach this stage so that you can monitor girls for IOIs and try to force them.
[T]his will make people assume that you are that guy who is happy with his life and goes after what he wants, including cute girls at the grocery store.
This was part of a conversation I had with Mr White recently, about how if you dress in a more polarised manner, that when you approach a girl, she thinks to herself “he’s dressed differently… he is different… he is the sort of guy that does different things.” Adding something out of the ordinary to the way you dress can aid in the seduction purely because it adds to the girl’s narrative and makes you seem more congruent. If an average guy approaches a cute girl then she might (correctly) assume that he’s approaching en masse rather than seeing something different about her (of course, we are all approaching en masse and the “something different” about her pales in comparison to our base attraction to her looks, but that’s just the grey area that’s needed for Game).
[R]ather than going for what you truly want, you think grocery store game gives you the opportunity to somehow weasel your dick into her pants.
I believe this is a common misconception by beginners: that by using the Daygame skillset they’ll simply be able to pick-up “that cute waitress/clerk/assistant/secretary/etc.” and then their life’s problems will be solved. It’s way too romantic to be effective in any way. And those girls who enjoy your romanticism off the bat are just ones who would have liked you anyway. In reality making a commitment to Game is a serious endeavour where you might change everything about yourself.
I thought to myself “If only I can catch her by herself in one of those aisles with no people around, then I could approach her and she will see what a great guy I am!” Then, I would proceed to follow the girl from a distance, waiting for the perfect opportunity to approach… only to see that girl leave the store.
I’ve said this multiple times before: once the girl sees you, an invisible clock starts ticking, and the longer it ticks, the lower she grades your approach. And as Midwest points out later on, the longer you wait the more your AA builds. You should have some consideration for where you’re approaching her but it’s more important to get it done quickly. And in some cases, it’s better to just let her go if there will be no decent place to approach her. That or take it on the chin that you should have lower expectations for the set. For example, you’re going to approach a girl but then she stops at the traffic lights: do you approach now, side-on, where the impetus is for her to cross the road once the lights are green? Or, let her cross the road and stop her on the other side, except the invisible clock has been ticking for a long time now?
So don’t look down – deliver your opener and stack with laser focused eye contact, eyefuck her as you talk to her so she gets the message subconsciously.
Another beginner misconception (I’m really harping on the beginners today), is that what you say makes a big difference. At most verbals are 20% of what works; at most. In fact as a beginner you will get laid in spite of your verbals. Verbals are similarly ineffective in conveying intent, and I agree with Midwest’s assertion that it’s “laser focused eye contact” which can do the job, together with closing proximity and small touches. I always say: if a guy like me approaches a girl on the street, then she knows what I want, and if she ever asks me “what is this?” or “why did you approach me?” then it’s either a shit test or she’s IODing me (in 99% of cases it’s the latter).
While I agree with that way of thinking and do think it is a good idea, I have discovered that shorter sets are perfectly fine when it comes to the grocery store, and I have actually had multiple dates when the set length was 2-3 minutes long.
I think the five to ten minute set length is a good range to think about when timing your sets, although mainly because of avoiding extremely long sets (which leave your wing waiting or are simply wasted time) or extremely short sets (where she didn’t get a chance to see you chill out and talk). Similar to Midwest I’ve had good results off of two or three minute sets – where the set ended prematurely – which shows that the girl’s interest in you, which is established in the first two seconds and confirmed in the first 30, is much more important than set length.
I would advise beginners to actually go on with their shopping and go home once they are done after a solid number close, as I think the high of that feelings reinforces the joy of daygame, and I believe enjoying your time doing daygame makes you look forward to doing it again, which helps build the habit long-term.
This links back to ejecting when faced with IODs in that you want to build up a positive image of Daygame as a beginner. Much like with the gym, I advise beginners not to Daygame “to failure” and should instead learn the form and become comfortable with the activity.
If she keeps walking away and doesn’t stop as you are talking, then she isn’t that interested in you. Pat yourself on the back for approaching a girl you find attractive, and move on to the next one.
Yes! Recently in London we’ve seen a lot of “walk and talk” Daygamers. Please stop doing that. Just try to stop the girl and accept the fact that if she blows you out then she’s not interested. Just imagine if some homeless person or charity sign-up guy started walking with you down the street: that’s how the girl feels.
And that’s that. Here are my follow-up questions for Midwest:
- How big are the stores you’re approaching in?
- Do you run into previous sets often?
- Does Daygaming a small area like a grocery store become dull?
- Do you limit your approaches per hour in “goldmines?”
The benefit of offering a PDF or e-book is that they can be updated and re-downloaded (much like my new textbook – Dead! – #upsell) and so I hope these will make their way in there somehow.