Q&A: How Do I Overcome Approach Lethargy?

You may have mentioned this on your blog already, but how do I deal with approach lethargy? Sometimes I see girls that I like but can’t be bothered to approach. Even when I go out with a lot of enthusiasm that day, once I arrive at my daygame spots I feel drained and lethargic.

I received this question from Ben during my recent request for Q&A post ideas and I happened to be discussing it with wings so it made it to the blog today. I’ve gone through exactly what Ben has described: approach lethargy; that feeling of not being bothered to go after girls. This happened to me as a negative side effect of looking for more signal before approaching; improving my pre-approach calibration. In reality, I should still be going after those 50/50s because I simply never know how it will go with them. Typically you let them pass, consider whether to approach or not, and before you know it they’re officially “too far away and it would be weird to go after them” (see the London Daygame Council’s 2021 ruling on acceptable distances for the specifics).

Here are three things which I incorporate into my sessions to ensure I still have the motivation to go after those 50/50s. Each is worth at least two approaches:

  1. Coffee: caffeine leads to an adrenaline release, meaning more energy for approaching, and releases endorphins which will make you feel good and can act as a buffer against the potential pain of rejection. Whenever I have a coffee I instinctively feel like I’m in more of a “fuck it” mood and I tend to eschew coffee before my sessions so that I can load up during it.
  2. Fat and sugar (combined). My personal favourite is a medium McDonald’s chocolate milkshake. This should give you a short and intense energy boost which can encourage you to go into set.
  3. Alcohol (yes, Dutch Courage, who’d have thought it!): stop for a (single) beer with your wing and then go back out and do some more sets. I shouldn’t have to explain why this would encourage you into set!

Don’t go overboard with any of these because of the health effects, plus you don’t want to get to that weird, intense, creepy staring state that shows you’ve had too much of the first two, nor do you want to get drunk and approach (save that for the Nightgamers!). Just have them as tools in your arsenal in case you want to pump out a few more sets. These are just meant as little things to put some pep in your step and get you going after the 50/50s.

If you want to stay healthy then you should also try to look out for approach indicators such as red clothing, nails and lipstick, skin tight clothing, skin showing, hip swing, looking up and around, etc. Just pick something out about her and tell yourself she wants to be approached today. Then go and find out.

You can also try to count “half sets” as I suggested in this previous post on how to approach more (link here). Allow yourself one or two weasels (maybe one for a small city and two for a large one) before telling yourself “I have to do the next passable set I see.” In a similar style some wings of mine will say they must approach every 15 minutes and set a timer.

There’s also the classic “first one’s the worst one.” Remember that the purpose of the first set is simply to dust off the cobwebs and get you into Daygame mode. The purpose of that set is to change what you feel, not get laid, so there’s literally no pressure to perform, just get in front of her.

Lastly there are a couple of rules I incorporated in my 2021 Daygame lessons to help me past approach lethargy which you can read (link here).

Hope that helps. I use these tips as much as possible these days and find it reasonable to get up to five sets a session, which for a veteran London Daygamer is a very respectable amount.

Yours unfaithfully,

Thomas Crown

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