I was looking through my list of questions and since the topic of stopping came up on Twitter recently I thought that it would be a good idea to answer this question:
Thoughts on the Yad stop?
In my opinion it’s too flamboyant and will make guys come across as metrosexual and lacking dominance. Plus, that flamboyance makes a spectacle out of the whole thing and so reduces the secret society aspect of the set.
There are tons of ways to stop a girl: the Yad stop, a side stop, calling to her from behind, and even recently on Twitter the “Wolf Stop” and the “Dante Stop.” But at the end of the day, a stop is a stop is a stop. If it achieves the desired aim – to get her to stop walking and to talk to you – and is done in a calibrated manner, then it’s worked. Let’s not make it any more complicated than it needs to be because there are already enough acronyms and in-group terms in this community.
Calibration for a stop will mostly come down to how hard/dominant it needs to be. In a sedate, indoor setting then a side stop is best. If she’s tearing down the street then a hard front stop is required (though I would only go after a fast walking girl if she passed my pre-approach filter, mind you). If she’s just about to enter a shop then I recommend calling after her; getting the set done outside rather than in.
Then there’s calibration based on the girl. You wouldn’t do a cocky, in-your-face (hard) stop on a shy looking girl. You also wouldn’t do a relaxed, easygoing (soft) side stop on a tatted up rock chick.
You then should also calibrate based on yourself. If you’re much taller than the girl then you’ll need to approach so as not to intimidate her and to leave enough space so she can actually look at you without getting a neck ache! In general, if you’re a tall, muscular and naturally dominant man then you don’t need to do so many hard stops; doing that will come across as too aggressive. Conversely, if you’re short and skinny then you ought to be making your stops harder so that you come across as more dominant. You’ll need them because otherwise girls will simply keep on walking and you won’t get time in set.
At the end of the day you can judge how good a stop was based on these two criteria:
- Did she stop?
- Was it calibrated?
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